When face time is too much time…
I attended an event/workshop the other night and one of the speakers talked about ‘relationships’ or more pointedly where to meet men.
If you’re single you must ‘not be doing everything you can be doing to meet men’ was basically what he was saying….yeah ok buddy (there is a difference between dating and aggressively hunting any man you can find down)
One suggestion he mentioned was just too ridiculous to not bring up. Although, I know people who have done this, and even experienced a conversation along these lines.
His advice: Log into facebook and go through all your friends friends. Pick out all the cute ones and ask your friend if a: they are single and b: if they will introduce you.
Now ok, I admit to being a facebook photo creepier. I look at all your photos and any album you are in. Spending way to much time looking at friends of friends wedding albums, making sure I’m still better looking then the kids I went to high school with while judging their children, and how hideous your cousins prom dress was.
But cruising for single guy friends of friends, nope!
But then maybe this guy has the right idea. In fact my friend ‘A+’ tried to do this with me once. I simple explained to her, “if I had any great single man friends that would be perfect for you I would have already told you.” I also have a reader who added a friend of a friend because she seemed cute and interesting. (Not sure if it worked out for him or not, but I meet her and yes she was ‘cute and interesting’)
But giving facebook friend cruising as real advice to women, this can’t actually work for that many people. Can it? But late last night I figured it out (or I at least have a theory)
You see these types of seminars are usually for women (this is where I could refer to age but I’ll just say women, rather then girls, or chicks). Like dating boot camp that told us if you are over 35 you need to get “aggressive.”
I went through facebook picking out all my friends over the age of 35, now minus the fact that many of my friends in general work in “the arts” and facebook gets used as more of a contact builder. Not many of my ‘older’ friends had many friends that I feel like are real friends. In fact, I’d say on average my facebook friends over the age of 35 have about 25-45 friends.
Facebook started off for college students, grew form there and is still growing as we watch in awe as are parents and even some peoples grandparents join (mostly to play farming games from what I can tell)
Now going through a friend who has only 50 friends list is easy, that is doable. Once you are over a certain age the term ‘friends’ means something completely different. It’s scaled back, and in wishing I had a better term, it is ‘real’. It’s manageable like real relationships. So maybe his advice wasn’t all that bad. But I will say going through something like my 800plus friends, that’s just creepy! I’ve had alot of friends (boys and girls) ask if I knew anyone who would be good for them but only once in what was a “its late I’m bored and we’re both awake” moments had a friend half assed go through my friends.
I don’t get it, but then again maybe I’m just not old enough…
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