I hate the phrase: You can’t have your cake and eat it too.
What kind of ridiculousness are you spewing from your mouth? Why would anyone have cake but not eat it? If you give me cake, I’m sorry I’m eating it. That’s what people do. Who collects pieces of cake to just look at? I’ll tell you who. Sick individuals, that’s who!
Guy on 2 Train: Damn girl, you musta been looking real good in your prime!
(Silence)
Guy on 2 Train: But I bet you’re still freaky like back when. I’ll let you give me your number.
I like many New Yorkers spend time not only intrigued by, but also sometimes try to not imagine what cab drivers in this city experience.
I have had many a terrible cab experience, and yet have had some amazing ones as well. I spoke nearly an hour after arriving at my stop talking with a cab driver (off the meter of course) about Beckett and the state of NY theatre. I had a cab driver once pull out his violin from the front seat and play me one of the best concerts I may ever experience. And of course I’ve had many a conversation about love and relationships.
I like talking with the cab drivers. I always talk back and engage in the action if it starts, that is unless it gets creepy.
Last week I was taking a cab home from the bar. “BabyBoy” had flagged the cab for me and I got in alone. My cab driver was intrigued and fascinated by this.
He brought this up almost immediately upon my door closing.
“You aren’t taking that young man in cab with you?”
“Nah, he wants to stay at the bar”
“Ah. He doesn’t know what he is missing. Or he does know and will be sorry later!” (insert strong robust laugh)
He proceeded to tell me about the idea of “electricity” in a relationship. How you can’t survive on just power, you need the actual flame to keep a relationship fresh exciting and new.
He told me about how in all good things in life (especially a romantic partner) you need electricity and sparks every single time.
You can’t live without the power, you can’t move, grow, or flourish without power, and ultimately power at its finest is electricity.
Infact the word ‘sparks’ might be wrong. Sparks are a one time thing, they get a fire going, and once it’s going the real electrical power has started. Sparks are exciting! It’s what everyone tells you you need, it’s what people ask if you had on a first date or encounter. But is just sparks what we want or better yet what we NEED!?
It made me think about how I want a guy who starts sparks from the first moment, and my fire gets started, and rather then re-sparking every time I’m with him, or see him, it’s like he’s throwing more wood on my fire, and it’s a growing blaze of electrical heat.
Cause I’m always cold so I definitely need a guy who can keep my fire going!
Why settle for anything but….
I attended an event/workshop the other night and one of the speakers talked about ‘relationships’ or more pointedly where to meet men.
If you’re single you must ‘not be doing everything you can be doing to meet men’ was basically what he was saying….yeah ok buddy (there is a difference between dating and aggressively hunting any man you can find down)
One suggestion he mentioned was just too ridiculous to not bring up. Although, I know people who have done this, and even experienced a conversation along these lines.
His advice: Log into facebook and go through all your friends friends. Pick out all the cute ones and ask your friend if a: they are single and b: if they will introduce you.
Now ok, I admit to being a facebook photo creepier. I look at all your photos and any album you are in. Spending way to much time looking at friends of friends wedding albums, making sure I’m still better looking then the kids I went to high school with while judging their children, and how hideous your cousins prom dress was.
But cruising for single guy friends of friends, nope!
But then maybe this guy has the right idea. In fact my friend ‘A+’ tried to do this with me once. I simple explained to her, “if I had any great single man friends that would be perfect for you I would have already told you.” I also have a reader who added a friend of a friend because she seemed cute and interesting. (Not sure if it worked out for him or not, but I meet her and yes she was ‘cute and interesting’)
But giving facebook friend cruising as real advice to women, this can’t actually work for that many people. Can it? But late last night I figured it out (or I at least have a theory)
You see these types of seminars are usually for women (this is where I could refer to age but I’ll just say women, rather then girls, or chicks). Like dating boot camp that told us if you are over 35 you need to get “aggressive.”
I went through facebook picking out all my friends over the age of 35, now minus the fact that many of my friends in general work in “the arts” and facebook gets used as more of a contact builder. Not many of my ‘older’ friends had many friends that I feel like are real friends. In fact, I’d say on average my facebook friends over the age of 35 have about 25-45 friends.
Facebook started off for college students, grew form there and is still growing as we watch in awe as are parents and even some peoples grandparents join (mostly to play farming games from what I can tell)
Now going through a friend who has only 50 friends list is easy, that is doable. Once you are over a certain age the term ‘friends’ means something completely different. It’s scaled back, and in wishing I had a better term, it is ‘real’. It’s manageable like real relationships. So maybe his advice wasn’t all that bad. But I will say going through something like my 800plus friends, that’s just creepy! I’ve had alot of friends (boys and girls) ask if I knew anyone who would be good for them but only once in what was a “its late I’m bored and we’re both awake” moments had a friend half assed go through my friends.
I don’t get it, but then again maybe I’m just not old enough…
Sweating up a storm man: Hi darling.
Plum: (smile)
Sweating up a storm man: Do me a favor will ya?
Plum: Excuse me?
Sweating up a storm man: Take off your glasses.
Plum: Why?
Sweating up a storm man: So I can stare into those beautiful eyes of yours.
Plum: Well I can’t really see without them.
Sweating up a storm man: That makes it even easier for me to work my magic.
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