The Lost Plum…

Quick thing: my writing or blogging is actually more note taking then anything else. I write a lot with my thumbs and my blackberry. Then transfer them to my computer. I wonder if i should start putting the Sprint Blackberry Stamp at the bottom of all those posts, but that would just be free advertising….

The biggest issue with this is the letter “i”. I type fast and don’t hold down the i long enough to always make an ‘I’ and get stuck with a lot of “i” s.

Fact: I’m not apposed to selling out for sponsorship money! I’ll sell out in a heartbeat…in case you are buying!

As I mentioned yesterday, I had been on “assignment” this past week.  So as I was fruit dropping in Whole Foods stores across the city I noticed something.

All the men are buying vegetables: not buying fruit. (could be a good thing)

So being the engineer my parents wished  I had become, I came up with a game I like to call.

MAN BOWLING

Rules of the Game: take one piece of fruit and roll (bowl) it towards an attractive man, and try to get it as close to him (the pin) as possible. Upon rolling quickly and flirt-erly chase after the fruit! Giggling is encouraged!

If you look at my states from yesterday, the fruits with the highest probability of ‘scoring’ were round and rolled well (oranges, coconuts, lemons)

Also, this game allowed me a greater playing field, I didn’t have to wait for a man to walk by me, I could roll my orange from produce into the meat section or frozen section (depending on the store) very easily.   

Also, this game is much more physical then just dropping fruit; it combines food and sports (2 of the best things ever!) 

SIDEBAR: If you are going to act like a foul and drop fruit to pick up men, you might as go for it and throw fruit allover the place to reach the really cute one way over there!  

FACT: The funny thing is, I’ve never really been bowling.  Unless, you count the tiny ball, more pins, I’m not an American bowling.

* This game is not to be confused with MAN-BASEBALL, the chances of getting a date out of that, aren’t as high….. believe me!

 I watch and see a lot of movies, however, one of the biggest movies of last year I didn’t see. I have yet to see No Country For Old Men. (Insert your shock and awe here!) I love, I mean, LOVE Cormack McCarthy, he is one of my favorite author and one of the most important American writers of our time.  He is simply brilliant. The first thing of his I read was The Orchard Keeper, I was in 7^th grade…not really reading material for someone my age, but I used to devour books and after reading that had to read everything he had ever wrote. I also might be one of the only people here in NYC who saw The Sunset Limited (his second play) more then three times. His work is poetry and celebration, and life and death, in one hard (or soft) cover.

No Country For Old Men is one of my go to books when I need a great read. It changes me and eats at my brain like a zombie in heat.  (If you also like this book you must read The Road) However, I have yet to see this movie, at first it was cause I love the book so much and although I’m sure the movie will rock my socks off I still worry it just might not…..and then there is Josh Brolin.  He killed Harvey Milk and I just can’t support him any more!

FACT: I also have a thing for Yates, one of his poems derives the name…I could go into more detail but then you would all know how nerdy I really am!

Joss Whedon is the new Mickey Rourke!

He’s going to give us alot of CRAP but the comeback will be sweet!

(It’s just might take some time and judging by how bad ‘dollhouse’ is that scares me! Scares me, but not as much as the BVS “Hush” Gentlemen…ekkk!)

*This comeback is not to be confused with that of Robert D. Jr. that was personal crap, we’re talking work crap here……

Four reasons/incidents why I may need a new tuque! (or hat, or stocking-cap, or whatever you want to call it… I CALL IT A TUQUE!)

All the following events happened today; before 1pm, and are not listed in chronological order.

Reason#1:

Scene: At the laser place this morning while booking my next appointment/getting ready to leave.

Me: (putting on my tuque)
Laser Chick at Desk: I like your hat, my daughter would love it.
Laser Dude at Desk: How old is your daughter?
Laser Chick: (to him) She’s 4! (to me) So we’ll see you again on the 2nd. Did you remember your underwear? *see giggles*

sidebar: I forgot my underwear once. Once! And I remembered it when I was in the elevator, and I went back for it….yet they think its the funniest thing ever! Those tall skinny European hairless chicks making jokes at my expense…I hate them.

Reason#2::

Scene: In Crate & Barrel, just looking at stuff.

Me: (looking at pillows)
Random Guy: I have those on my sofa.
Me: They are very nice.
Random Guy: Maybe you and your cute little hat want to come see how they look outside of the store sometime.
Me: My cute little hat doesn’t really like field trips.
Random Guy: *Laughs with a snort* (no joke)
Me: Yeah…*sigh*… (walk away)

Reason#3:

Scene: Walking across 59th from 5th towards Columbus Circle/Whole Foods to buy a salad and a fruit. Passing all the carriage ride guys/horses 

Me: (walking)
Horse Guy: Are you interested in a carriage…
Me: No, thank you. (as I walk past him)
Horse Guy: (turns around follows me) I like your hat! It looks great on you.
Me: Thank you.
Horse Guy: Do you salsa dance?
Me: No, I don’t like social situations.
Horse Guy: It doesn’t have to be social.
Me: Well I don’t like people in general.
Horse Guy: What if I give you a carriage ride for free.
Me: I can’t right now I’m on my way to a tea party.
Horse Guy: Well I…… (I’m not sure what else he said cause he stopped walking and I kept going)

Reason#4:

Scene: Walking along 59th I decide to go into Sarabeth and make a reservation for next week, rather then call, cause I’m walking right by it. Inside Sarabeth.

Me: (just finishing making my reservation, turn around to leave)
Mysterious Man: Excuse me miss.
Me: Pardon? (I look and probably made a strange face)
Mysterious Man: I just wanted to say I like your stocking-cap.
Me: What? Oh, my tuque! Thank you. (as I touch my head)
Mysterious Man: Tuque! *laughs a hardy laugh* I guess you could call it that. 
*awkward pause*
Mysterious Man: Do you like mine?
Me: Excuse me?
Mysterious Man: My Hat!
Me: Yeah, it’s very……..You!
Mysterious Man: *hardy laugh as he throws his head back…picture Samuel L. Jacksons hardy laugh)
Me: Well bye.
Mysterious Man: *tips his hat to me*
Me: *tip my hat or try too*
Mysterious Man: *laughs a hardy Samuel L. Jackson type laugh again*

Side Bar: The Mysterious Man all in black laughs like Samuel L. Jackson because well it was Samuel L. Jackson!!