The Lost Plum…

Guy: It’s cold outside isn’t it.

Me: Sure is.

Guy: Nice hat.

Me: Thanks.

Guy: I need to get me a new hat, or maybe I can just use your thighs as earmuffs.

Guy in Bank Line: Hi.

Plum: Hi.

Guy in Bank Line: Would you sleep with me?

Plum: Excuse me?

Guy in Bank Line: Would you sleep with me?

Plum: (silently looking forward)

Guy in Bank Line: Cause I’d sleep with me. I’d even fuck me.

Plum: You must have real high standards. (leaves line)

Guy: Fuck me if I’m wrong and crazy, but your name is Bertha right?

Me: Umm… no.

Guy: I thought it was. Crazy right?

Me: Yeah, I guess.

Guy: So you agree I was wrong and crazy. Guess we have to fuck now.

Man on Subway: You headed to work?

Plum: Yeah, most people are.

Man on Subway: Lots to do?

Plum: Well it is ‘work’.

Man on Subway: I’m sure you’re pretty good at it.

Plum: Well I try.

Man on Subway: Me too. In fact, I just moved you to the top of my “to do list”!

Guy at Bar:  Hey what’s up?

Plum: Not to much. What’s up with you?

Guy at Bar: So why haven’t you come over to talk to me over there? (points towards table he had been sitting with with friends)

Plum: Umm…cause I’m here with my friends.

Guy at Bar: Well I was taught that if you simply smile and stare at girls they come over. It’s the best pick up technique out there.