Man: I’ve never seen you at the dog park before.
Me: Oh we’ve been before I just babysit so I only get to come with ‘Picasso’ every month or so.
Man: Well he’s a lucky little guy.
Me: ….thanks (awkward smile)
(About 10 minutes later man and his massive horse of a dog are leaving the dog park)
Man: I’m ‘man’ by the way. (Hands card) you should call me if you ever feel like babysitting my little man.
Guy: My grandfather fought in the war.
Me: oh really?
Guy: Pretty cool huh!? How many people can say that?
Me: Well I’d say about 90percent of the bar could say that, maybe even more.
Guy: Well only cause the bar is pretty much full of Caucasians.
Me: Caucasians? What does that mean?
Guy: White people.
Me: Yes. I know what Caucasian means.
Guy: (laughs) Well white people are the only ones who stand up for this country!
Me: I’m sorry, are you hitting on me right now?
Guy: Of course. (Laughs) Isn’t it working?
Me: Well considering I’m not white you may want to reconsider! (Walks away)
FACT: I’m probably the whitest kid you could ever meet!
Plum: Excuse me.
Sigma-something-pop-collar-whatever: Am I in your way?
Plum: Well I’d sorta like, like to leave.
Sigma-something-pop-collar-whatever: Well I’m the “like to leave” police, I need to see some ID.
Plum: (laughs) Yeah ok! Whatever. Are you going to move?
Sigma-something-pop-collar-whatever: Are you going to at least give me your number?
Guyish Guy: hi!
Plum: hi.
Guyish Guy: You like chocolate?
Plum: Sure why not (?)
Guyish Guy: Well my dick isn’t chocolate, but I have this sauce I can dip it in.
Man: What colour is your nail polish?
Plum: umm..I think it’s called “tart deco.”
Man: Do your toes match?
Plum: No, I think they are green something.
Man: I like this colour (points to hands) I’ve been looking for a new red to paint my toes.
Plum: Well it’s not really a red per say.
Man: I’m “man”, you interested in going for a pedicure with me sometime, and get to know each other?
Recent Comments