The Lost Plum…

In every relationship there are those little things we bring to the table that just might irk our partner in some way.  You know what I’m talking about, those things that we all do that seem to drive the other person a little batty regardless of how much “love” they have for you.

My ex used to get into bed and sleep in his pants if he was too tired or drunk or most likely too lazy to bother taking them off. (He’s probably the only person on the face of the earth who has said they like sleeping in jeans) I hate nothing more than dirty pants in bed or feet or socks. Bothers me to know end! I seem to recall a few past instances of me throwing a little hissy as I grabbed clean blankets and slept on the couch because now my bed was infected with dirty pants and shoe grossness.  BUT these aren’t the types of things I’m talking about.

I’m not taking about the stuff that infuriates. I’m talking about those little things you do almost on purpose because you know it bothers the other person. When you do that thing to drive someone ‘crazy’ in a humorous manner to provoke and almost fight (if you can even call it that) which ends up with you both sorta giggling cause you just can’t help it.

Do you know what I’m talking about?  Maybe it’s making a joke at the others expense about some old nick name, or always bring up an old incident that you know you shouldn’t but you can’t help it…

My Bestest Pal and I were talking about this topic while on holiday last week. Her dad called half and half creamer “arf and arf” (just like a dog sound) and it would driver her mother crazy. Every morning when he’d make her coffee he’d ask if she wanted “arf and arf” Every morning! Even though he knew she hated it and he knew she’d give him a hate glare and maybe start yelling, but in the end they’d end up laughing.

My patents (my mother is dying somewhere if she knew this was about to go public) have theirs over toilet paper. Yes Toilet Paper, or as my dad calls it (wait for it) Bum Wipe. Yup “bum wipe.” My mother dies inside every time he says it and they have this little argument back and forth until they both are giggling over of all things toilet paper. (some times it’s been big arguments, a few times she threw plates)

I have these funny little memories of him writing “bum wipe” on groceries lists on the kitchen counter and laughing to himself, as he’d leave the house in the morning.

Of his yelling from the bathroom “honey we are out of bum wipe!” and her yelling “you need bum wipe I’ll give you your bum wipe!!” as she’d chuck roll after roll into the bathroom slam the door in a huff and puff but be giggling as she walked away. Or being in a place like Costco and having him be like “ohhh look at how cheap this bum wipe is” and her yelling his name and hushing him while she turned red from embarrassment as he’d hug her and they would giggle. My dad is the only person who can get away with saying bum wipe in our house; my brother and I both learned that lesson the hard way.

It’s like an inside joke and a way to let out frustration and to make a joke at someone’s expense all rolled into pretty packaged tied with a “I love you regardless of anything you do!” string.

Who would think one day I’d say to myself I want that. I want a relationship where we have our own “bum wipe”. It sounds so perfectly dysfunctional and amazingly imperfect…. I just don’t want mine to be over toilet paper.

A few weeks back I got a voice mail, well to be honest I let the call go to voice mail, anyways, I got a voice mail. Telling me there was a standing ticket at the airport for me to get on a plane and spend the next two days in a Canadian city I love (minus the fries covered in cheese and gravy grossness) to see a boy I haven’t officially dated in over 4 years. (maybe more….I’m terrible with time frames)

Now I’ve talked about this boy before, not as much as I could but he’s kind of complicated and I’m a little complicated….and together we’re very complicated! The majority of our relationship was long distance, but not in the one lives here an one lives there kid of long distance. That type of long distance is easy. That kind I can do (I don’t know if I want to ever do that again, but if forced into the situation I can do it) Our long distance was the  one person travels all the time kind… and that is not so easy. Less easy is the cross-country and back every 3 days, I’m talking multi city, multi country, multi time zones all the time. (all the time) And once again let me say it really is not easy.

I have great admiration for couples that can do that. Because waking up and not being able to figure out what time it is where your partner is, or unable to figure out the extensive and complicated schedules is not just a pain it starts to feel like its not worth it. Not because it isn’t worth it, but because thinking that is easier than figuring out when it’s an ok time to call someone you love.

And I realized along time ago that having a tired heart is not something I ever want again, cause jet lag is one thing but when your heart is jet lagged it’s a completely different story!

This past weekend while out with friends some guy was talking to me trying to convince a friend and I to come over and “have a drink with him and his friend”. First off, I’m not always the best at giving the impression that I’m not interested, I’m too nice. My friends on the other hand are very good at the stink eye and turning away.  Now although he was pleasant there were just so many wrongs going on in the situation (on top of the fact that I was really not attracted to him at all…AT ALL!)

First I can’t stand when guys ask girls to come over and have a drink with them. If you aren’t at a table why on earth would we leave our comfortable spot at the bar to go over to your spot someplace else. Sorry it’s not happening. I’m also convinced that this is written down in some stupid pickup book someplace. You know tell the girl to come to you, be the man sorta crap. Yup, not working for me buddy. Now maybe if you are offing to buy a drink, or you have bottle services or something, but this is 98% never the case. So, when we say ‘maybe’ it means no, not happening.

This guy later ventured back, and told me how I never came to talk to him and his friend. Really? I hadn’t noticed that?!  And that they were going to another location, as he named some place not that exciting you could tell he thought it was and I should have found it impressive. And then didn’t just ask me for my number asked me for my business card. “Can I get your card so I can call you some time and (we’ll get to this next)”

I hate when guys ask for a business card. Um, no you can’t have all my contact information, as well as know where I work, what I do, and how I most likely make more money then you. He must have said “can I have your business card” about 4 times. I finally was like, “why don’t you give me your business card”. To which he provided me with 4 – you know for each of his ‘projects’…….yeah I’m still not impressed guy.

“..so I can take you for brunch sometime”  Umm.. excuse me?  “I’d like to take you to brunch sometime, could be fun”  Ummm….yeah, I think not.

Filled under things I don’t get (or even like) is the Brunch Date.  Why in the world would someone go to brunch on a first date? Sure brunch covers so many good things: food, booze, breakfast food, yummy booze.  You know the important things in life.  But as a first date, no thank you. It’s just stupid and has ‘not working’ written all over it. I feel like anyone who suggests a brunch date is a: trying to be cool and b: needs to one up a drinks date with the day drinking element..you know cause you will get super drunk after two and they will then seem better then they are and c: they are trying to be cool.

Stupidest Idea for a first date…..unless you just want drunken early evening sex, then by all means suggest away.

You know who I have brunch with. My friends. My boyfriend (if I’m in a relationship) Or the boy I happened to have an adult sleepover with and since we are friends and we’re both hungry why not.

So no I won’t leave my spot at the bar to join you.

No I will not give you my business card.

And no I never want to have brunch with you, or any dude I’m really meeting for the first time.

FACT: I’m back on the singles scene and this is what it’s (still) like…..

Tell me about it! I’m the worst, I know!  I KNOW!

And it’s sorta starting to eat at me, because well I don’t want to be a bad bad blogger. I want to be an awesome blogger who has something interesting to say everyday. (although if I have ever been that blogger is questionable)  So here I am once again saying I’ll do better, or I’ll write more, or whatever you want to take it as.

I’ve just been so busy, or so caught up, or so not caught up to come over to this blog. I’ve been writing I just haven’t posted. Who does that? I guess me!

Work has been uber busy, I have these 3 other projects that I’m excited about and I have two other writing projects I’ve been spending much more of my time on.

But as always I’m going to try to and do better. Maybe it’s a new years resolution or maybe instead of giving something up for lent I should give in and blog more. Who knows. But I do know I’ve been a bad bad blogger…… but I’m going to work on becoming freaking awesome-sauce (again), or I hope so.

Life is an interesting thing. It gives us ups and downs, and even more ups and downs. We face the given and the surprising, and we evolve every minute at a time.

One thing I think we all evolve with is our belief systems. Now this can be so many things and ideas. Beliefs cover everything. Yes everything. From politics, sex, and how long to wait after eating to go swimming our beliefs shape our every move.

Yes, what we believe in is in a sense what keeps us rolling. It dictates our everyday life, and our belief systems (although constantly changing) are our fundamental core.

And then there is religion. Oh the great topic of religion. Now I can’t pretend to even have a conversation on this topic, because not only is it specific to each individual (yes even if you are a member of an organized one) but also I don’t really know if I have every really known what religion means and in turn has meant to me.

I grew up Catholic. Very Catholic.  Catholic school, church every week, grace before a meal, hell I was even an alter server in church (one of the best ever I might add) But at the end of the day what does growing up Catholic even mean. I have no idea!

I really don’t.  I personally believe that you can never quite escape what you come from, as much as lots of people say. And although I don’t think I would ever shout form the roof tops that I believe in God, or that I am Catholic, and the end of the day I think I would have to associate most with being Christian, only because that idea and belief system has been grilled into my brain for so very long.

But again, what does that even mean!?

All I know is for as long as I really remember. As long as what is actually relevant in my adult life I’ve been more a fan of keeping the George Michael kind of Faith, then the kind that involves a God.

And then there was yesterday. Where I found myself sitting, waiting, and in prayer. I prayed. And exactly what the means…..I have no idea. But it happened, a for real prayer in the first time in a for real long time.

I am not to sure what this post is about except maybe change, and life, and at the end of the day it’s just about me….me on one specific day. So there you go.