Archive for the ‘PLANE(crazy)’Category

Our fine folks at airport security….

I just spent a lovely time in Toronto/Hamilton/Waterloo/Southern Ontario. Although I didn’t get to see everyone I would have liked to cause it was Easter weekend and all are busy with family (lets not talk about family and my little cousins Evil cat!)
So I flew home today/tonight and just got home from my most horrific ordeal at an airport to date! I am never going to be able to fly easy again; I’m from now on going to be pulled aside and searched I just know it! 

So I was set leaving Toronto on Air Canada flight 172, which departed at 3:15pm for New York (LAG).

Easy enough, right?

I had a great lunch with my Grandma, drove to the airport on the highway with actually great traffic, I heard NO nickleback on the radio (which for some horrid reason is playing on at least three station at any given time..Urrgg!!) Returned the car, went through customs, got water and sat down at my gate! 

The perfect start of my travel day: I should have known better!

So I hear my flight called to start boarding, I get up grab my two bags, have my ticket scanned, have them check my id, get on the plan, have the guy on the plane look over my ticket, find my seat 18A, sit down and we take off. 

I get my headphones and fast-forward “Holiday” to where I left off from my trip down.

The plan lands (it was bumpy and kind of made me feel sick but it was a nice flight)

We start to deplane the plane, I walk out of the terminal hallway thing and

BOOM
BAM
In my face three security guards!!

EEK!

They say my name, 

I say ” Uaahhghhhhyeahhh” and make a horrid face..ekk

They say, “Come this way!”

Two thoughts run through my mind!

1: I SO AM GETTING CAUGHT FOR NOT DECLAIRING GOODS! I AM SUCH A BAD LIER! HOW AM I EVER GOING TO GET OUT OF PRETENDNG I PACKED 5 PAIRS OF SHOES AND 9 BRAS FOR A 7 DAY TRIP! 

(SHIT)

2: I GET ONE PHONE CALL RIGHT? WHO DO I CALL! 

(SHIT)

OH AND

” I AM SOOOOO LOSING MY VISA AND GETTING KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL!! WHICH MEANS I SOOOO SHOULD HAVE LEFT SCHOOL FOR THE JOB WITH TH MAPLES LEAFS/RAPTORS! (SHIT)

We go into a room, which looks just like the ones in the movies!

(SHIT!)

They start asking me ALL these questions about my visit, my where abouts while in Canada, and what I plan on doing while in New York.

I maybe peed my pants just a little bit!!

THEN after about ½ hour of questions which I assume are about my Visa, my immigration, my being audited by the Canadian Government, the fact I worked but did not claim it on my taxes, the fact I was not declaring anything and I purchased like 1400$ worth of clothing, I had no idea!!

Then this woman came in with my green suitcase!

They asked if it was mine

I said yes

Thoughts of those movies/TV shows where someone’s vibrator turns on and security thinks it’s a bomb rush through my head.

Small problem with that though: I don’t have a vibrator in my suitcase, I don’t even own one!

(Shit)
Then they begin to put all my bags on this table and we start going through every items, which they scan with those fiber wipe things and then put in the machine to test for flammables/ viruses/ bomb type materials… 

EVERYTHING IN MY THREE BAGS!! 

EVERYTHING!

THEN

And ONLY THEN 

Do I get a clue as to why they are questioning me!

YOU SEE:

I some how got on the wrong plane!

SEE I GOT ON Air Canada flight 162 (not 172), which was set to leave at 2:45pm from the SAME FUCKING terminal 166!!

First off who in there right minds has planned to have two flights 10 numbers off leaving 30minutes from each other on the same airline, going to the same destination leaving from the same gate!

AND

How is it my fault that they checked me in before I got on, as well as checked my ticket at the plane, and no one was sitting in my assigned seat!!

SERIOUSLY!

But, I have learned:
You can soooo get away with smuggling! Really come on I had like 30 pairs of underwear in my little suitcase!
(and)
Nothing I own has ever come into contact with things that get picked up by those swipe swab thingers !

AND I DIDN’T LOSE MY VISA, which is good cause things are starting to get nice in plum-land!