The Lost Plum…

I’ve written a few post on the ‘amazing’ advise my dear Mama Plum gives. And she does have some great quotes about love and life, but like all great insight it’s not always based on experience, it’s based a lot on upbringing and what we’ve been taught as children. Thus her advice can only be out done by her very own Mama Plum. However, my Mama Plum’s Mama isn’t really a plum, she’s way to Polish to be a plum, maybe she’s Mama Pierogi. But then again she’s just my Babcia.

I love my Babcia more then anyone else in this world. My Babcia is my favorite person, and I think she always has been and always will be!  I had the pleasure of two weeks (on and off) with my Babcia while on vacation this past month, and much like my Mama Plum she’s never at a lack of advise when it comes to life, love, and boys!

9 Words of Wisdom from Grandma ‘Babcia’ Plum.

1:  “Men always know what fun is no matter how old they get. Old men are always bad!”  Guys love to get into your pants, and this fact apparently never changes!

2: “If I said so it means I mean!” Respect your elder, that is all.

3: “You won’t really know till you get married when people become normal…..they aren’t normal till marriage, and if it doesn’t work out, oh well you get to try again.”  Sometimes our love lives don’t turn out how we want or how we expected them too. Things changes and more importantly people changes, but life goes on, and you move on too. So “oh well”.

4: “Don’t give away too much Pączki”  A pączki is a like a polish doughnut or pastry. Mama Plum gave the same advice once. There is nothing wrong with giving away a little ‘desert’, but don’t be over indulgent and fill the plate or the other person just might get sick.

5:  “Everything gets split 11 ways”.  Babcia was saying what would happen if she won the big 80million drawing.  And I looked at her and said I think she was miscounting.  This side of my family is very small.  And she explained everyone would get some. So mamaplum and daddydoo wouldn’t share a piece they each got a piece. Same with my cousin (who is technically a step cousin and her husband and baby on the way) “ahh blood doesn’t equal family. Family is family” She’s right family is family, and family can be whoever you want it to be!

6: “As long as he knows how funny you are. You funny! (laughs) Not sure who you get that from? “  When you find someone who loves and appreciates all of you (best and worst quality’s) they are worth holding onto! And laughter really does make all the difference.

7: “Call your mother.”  When people care about you, you sorta have to show that you care back, even if it gets on your nerves.

8: “You are who you are, never what you could have been.  Life throws you all over the place, you just need to be happy” Anyone who has lived 86 years I would assume would think this is true. Life gets turned upside down and no money, royal blood, trinkets or possessions can save you or change that. But when you have family, love, and happiness nothing else matters: you don’t need anything else!

9: “Lets drink to that!” A term she uses often, and pours whatever happens to be infront of her. Life should be celebrated, and cherished. No matter what happens there is always an upside. As the quote she says all the time to me that I steal on a regular bases states: “ It could always be worse” so let’s drink to that!

Mama Plum came to visit with me this past week and then some. She ended up having to leave early and you’d think I’d jump for joy about that, but fact is I kind of miss her…..

I wrote once about the things Mama Plum has taught me about sex, love, boys, relationships, and life. She’s always good for a few sweet life tips. So in the spirit of her visit this time here are a few more…..

7 NEW Mama Plum lessons about love, sex, relationships and life.

1. “Life can be great without kids.”  Now I wasn’t sure if she was speaking with a little regret here at first, but after she elaborated she was clear that. Being happy with yourself is the most important thing, and you don’t need things or people (aka children) to be successful, happy or fulfilling in life.  “Be happy in yourself first, and the rest doesn’t really matter.”

2. “Monkey Shines” This new term is now my favorite term to describe sexual acts. The actual term is defined as a mischievous or playful trick or a prank. But my mother uses this term to describe mischievous acts two individuals may get into….with their pants off!

3. “Just make sure he’s nice” My mother is convinced that as long as a guy is “nice” that all other pieces will fall into place. “You haven’t always picked the nicest guys” I’m finally starting to realize what she means by this.

4. “There will always be something” There will always be something about a perspective mate no matter how perfect one may seem. You have to learn to realize that we all have faults, we all have issues, and we all have a history that makes us imperfect. Learning to see our own faults makes it easier to overlook some of those in others.

5. “A guy who appreciates art is a keeper.” I’ve spoke about this before and it really is true.

6. “Make sure he knows how lucky he is.” Being with someone who appreciates you for everything you are and realizes just how special you are is what we all need. Everyone is special and amazing you just need people in your life who realize it too.

7. “Good friends are everything.”  I don’t need to elaborate!

I am not always prepared in life. I’ll admit that. I’m often the one who will show up at the work event and forgot to bring business cards, or forget to pick up the dress I want to wear to an event from the drycleaners. But in important issues I over think everything. I’ve been known to use the phrase, “that’s why we have plan D” which alludes to the fact that I have not only an A and a D but one for every letter in between.

SIDEBAR: I will always have different plans, but I never have a backup plan.

I don’t only do this in work situations, but in what could be called serious life situations. I work out every option I have and makes list of what I am willing to give and take.

FACT: I usually give more then I take.

The place I do this most is in relationships: In the opposite sex.

A friend and I were chatting the other night about how “types” become obsolete at some point, and it becomes about our “give and take” list.  You know those things you are willing to let go. As my friend put it, “He’s probably not going to be tall, blond, and gorgeous.” “But he still might be perfect,” I said in response.

We let things go for things we’ve realized matter to us, or things we’ve found attractive (necessary) in our life.

Mamma Plum once told me we should only have basic standards when looking for a mate, “not violent, no criminal record, respectful of your beliefs, and gainfully employed.” After that she said it’s all give and take.

He might not be tall, but he comes from a good family, or he might be tall, but have bad teeth. Ok that’s a lie; if he has bad teeth I’m having nothing to do with that! (It’s on my standards list…I’m not joking)

So sometimes you have to give and take, and even when most prepaid and you meet the man of your dreams you realize you forgot your business cards at home.

Yesterday I had the pleasure (and I do mean pleasure) of spending time with the most amazing Nando and Nathan.

And we made a little video with huge production costs!

So check it out! Post a comment! And tell us what our next Hot Topic should be about!

SIDEBAR: I’m never chewing gum again….and I need some lipstick!

This isn’t the post that was supposed to go out today. I have the next two weeks already set (preposted) which is exciting, yes? I mean I find it exciting, although more convenient so I can do work and move (I’m moving…down the street!)

So, about 1 ½ years ago I found myself in the hospital. I guess what happened is my heart rate dropped so low (it runs really low in general, but that’s another story) that I passed out and had a seizure. The seizure part I don’t know about, but all I know was I woke up on the ground with the ambulance guys already around me and my foot hurt. Then I sorta remember being at the hospital and my foot still hurt. My mom showed up two days later to find me hooked up to a million wires in the hospital still crying about how much my foot hurt.

SIDEBAR: I was talking to my roommate when I passed out. I was in the doorway to my room and was holding onto the handle…what we think happened is I pulled the door shut on my way down closing it on my foot.

Mama Plum convinced them to x-ray my foot, which was the size of a baseball, and I couldn’t stand up on, so I would one-legged hop to the bathroom along with all my machines (cause no way in hell is this Plum is using a bed pan!)

X-rays back: They tell me it’s nothing, I just hit it and the swelling will go down in a few days. I spent about 2 months not being able to wear anything but flat shoes (and if you know me that is a travesty) and limping every once and awhile.

Fast-forward about 4 months. I went to the doctors for a check up (a new doctor) and I happen to mention my foot still bothered me now and again. He asked if I wanted to get an x-ray, I said yes.

SIDEBAR: This is the one thing I love about the American health care system. If you’re willing to pay for it you can have it. You can literally walk in be fine and say “ I want a EKG and an MRI done” and as long as you pay they do it.

X-rays back and there plain as day are 3 count them 3 hairline fractures in my right foot, and one which has healed it’s self in a not so hot kind of way!

Now my foot is pretty much better, sorta, well not really. But I get around fine on it, but every once and awhile it hurts. This I notice the most when it is cold outside. Really cold weather, or damp weather affects our joints and bones, and I’m sure if you have any type of injury such as mine you know what I’m talking about (don’t get me started on my knee when it’s raining)

So last night I wake up in pain. I’m alone, cold, and feel like my foot is broken!

My point is broken bones are kind of like broken hearts. They heal sure, but every once and awhile they pop up out of nowhere and cause you alittle pain. And it’s usually those times when you’re all alone in the dark cold room.

Then there are broken hearts like my foot. Little tiny fractures that go un reported because you don’t want to admit that maybe you are really broken hearted. Those heartbreaks that you push off as “meh it just didn’t work out” but really those breaks are the ones that maybe stay with you the most, that cut you the deepest. The ones you are silent about, that eat at you while you lay in bed, cold and alone. (with your foot propped up on a pillow)