The Lost Plum…

I am not always prepared in life. I’ll admit that. I’m often the one who will show up at the work event and forgot to bring business cards, or forget to pick up the dress I want to wear to an event from the drycleaners. But in important issues I over think everything. I’ve been known to use the phrase, “that’s why we have plan D” which alludes to the fact that I have not only an A and a D but one for every letter in between.

SIDEBAR: I will always have different plans, but I never have a backup plan.

I don’t only do this in work situations, but in what could be called serious life situations. I work out every option I have and makes list of what I am willing to give and take.

FACT: I usually give more then I take.

The place I do this most is in relationships: In the opposite sex.

A friend and I were chatting the other night about how “types” become obsolete at some point, and it becomes about our “give and take” list.  You know those things you are willing to let go. As my friend put it, “He’s probably not going to be tall, blond, and gorgeous.” “But he still might be perfect,” I said in response.

We let things go for things we’ve realized matter to us, or things we’ve found attractive (necessary) in our life.

Mamma Plum once told me we should only have basic standards when looking for a mate, “not violent, no criminal record, respectful of your beliefs, and gainfully employed.” After that she said it’s all give and take.

He might not be tall, but he comes from a good family, or he might be tall, but have bad teeth. Ok that’s a lie; if he has bad teeth I’m having nothing to do with that! (It’s on my standards list…I’m not joking)

So sometimes you have to give and take, and even when most prepaid and you meet the man of your dreams you realize you forgot your business cards at home.

Yesterday I had the pleasure (and I do mean pleasure) of spending time with the most amazing Nando and Nathan.

And we made a little video with huge production costs!

So check it out! Post a comment! And tell us what our next Hot Topic should be about!

SIDEBAR: I’m never chewing gum again….and I need some lipstick!

This isn’t the post that was supposed to go out today. I have the next two weeks already set (preposted) which is exciting, yes? I mean I find it exciting, although more convenient so I can do work and move (I’m moving…down the street!)

So, about 1 ½ years ago I found myself in the hospital. I guess what happened is my heart rate dropped so low (it runs really low in general, but that’s another story) that I passed out and had a seizure. The seizure part I don’t know about, but all I know was I woke up on the ground with the ambulance guys already around me and my foot hurt. Then I sorta remember being at the hospital and my foot still hurt. My mom showed up two days later to find me hooked up to a million wires in the hospital still crying about how much my foot hurt.

SIDEBAR: I was talking to my roommate when I passed out. I was in the doorway to my room and was holding onto the handle…what we think happened is I pulled the door shut on my way down closing it on my foot.

Mama Plum convinced them to x-ray my foot, which was the size of a baseball, and I couldn’t stand up on, so I would one-legged hop to the bathroom along with all my machines (cause no way in hell is this Plum is using a bed pan!)

X-rays back: They tell me it’s nothing, I just hit it and the swelling will go down in a few days. I spent about 2 months not being able to wear anything but flat shoes (and if you know me that is a travesty) and limping every once and awhile.

Fast-forward about 4 months. I went to the doctors for a check up (a new doctor) and I happen to mention my foot still bothered me now and again. He asked if I wanted to get an x-ray, I said yes.

SIDEBAR: This is the one thing I love about the American health care system. If you’re willing to pay for it you can have it. You can literally walk in be fine and say “ I want a EKG and an MRI done” and as long as you pay they do it.

X-rays back and there plain as day are 3 count them 3 hairline fractures in my right foot, and one which has healed it’s self in a not so hot kind of way!

Now my foot is pretty much better, sorta, well not really. But I get around fine on it, but every once and awhile it hurts. This I notice the most when it is cold outside. Really cold weather, or damp weather affects our joints and bones, and I’m sure if you have any type of injury such as mine you know what I’m talking about (don’t get me started on my knee when it’s raining)

So last night I wake up in pain. I’m alone, cold, and feel like my foot is broken!

My point is broken bones are kind of like broken hearts. They heal sure, but every once and awhile they pop up out of nowhere and cause you alittle pain. And it’s usually those times when you’re all alone in the dark cold room.

Then there are broken hearts like my foot. Little tiny fractures that go un reported because you don’t want to admit that maybe you are really broken hearted. Those heartbreaks that you push off as “meh it just didn’t work out” but really those breaks are the ones that maybe stay with you the most, that cut you the deepest. The ones you are silent about, that eat at you while you lay in bed, cold and alone. (with your foot propped up on a pillow)

This should be a post where I talk about the New Year upon us (NOT a new decade!) and talk about the past year and what it has meant to me, or even what this next year will bring.  Nope, this isn’t one of those posts, well not really…

I was chatting with my mom last night. She’s very confused by the whole ‘blog thing’. She gets it, but for the life of her can’t figure out why anyone would read it.

“They do realize your challenged, right?”

“Yes, mum”

“Ok, well what do you write about? What could you possibly say?”

“I don’t know… about life and stuff”.

“Ok…as long as you aren’t writing about sex, or putting naked pictures of yourself up on the interneter screen”

“I’d have to having sex to talk about it mum.”

“Don’t say that! I don’t want to know about that. Stop…maybe you can talk about all the nice men you know, rather then all the gommies you always find.”

“Yeah, ok thanks Tips”

“You know I don’t like it when you call me TIPS.”(A mothers sigh to be heard across the country)

Maybe my mom has a point. Not about me being challenged, that’s a whole other point. Mama Plum makes a good point about guys. I have found some real ‘gommies’ out there, and I might have high standards (according to everyone but me) but maybe that is because there are men (guys/boys/whatever) in my life that are so amazing it’s virtually impossible to find someone to compare.

Maybe I should start writing about all the amazing great guys (who I’d never date) I have in my life. Maybe as the year winds down I should think of all the wonderful friends I have, who really are the best (boy)friends one could ever hope for.

SIDEBAR: I had to throw in a little end of the year nostalgia for good measure.

I joke a lot on here about my mom. I do, I know I do. I make fun of her in a playful way to her face too, she cool with it…well depending on the topic (this one still upsets her, but my bro and I find it funny to bring up anyways)

But my mom is maybe the best relationship I have in my life. My family in general is.  They have always been consistent, and reliable, and willing to do anything and everything for me.

I had the most wonderful talk last night with both mamaplum and daddyplum on the phone.  We talked work, friends, life, business, and boys (well my dad did not partake in the talk about boys) I finished up the conversation feeling good about number one: feeling good about me, and confident in me!

I’ve been getting flack from some of you saying I’m starting to write all emotional on you, yeah maybe I am right now, but no worries it’s stopping.

My family does things for me that they probably don’t have to. I’m in my late 20s and every once and awhile my dad will put money on my credit card, my mom still sends me care packages, she offers to fly here to do my laundry and clean and cook for me when I seem stressed, and I know my parents would happily eat soup from a can for months before they let either my brother or I do so.

FACT: My mom asked last night if I was eating healthy I told her I had a salad with chicken for dinner….I ate toast and a pomegranate.

I lied to her not cause she would be mad, but because if I told her that there would be a FreshDirect box of vegetables and good food at my door in the morning.

So how does this transform back to my dating life you may ask? Well it made me think back to a conversation I had with one of my great guy friends ‘AT’. He was thinking of ending a relationship he was about 2 months into.  There were lots of reason (she was crazy….like clock is ticking already had a dress hanging in her closet crazy) but one thing he brought up struck a small cord and made total sense to me.

He said he just couldn’t be with someone that didn’t understand that no matter how financially secure he is in his life; he will never be finically free from his parents.  Now ‘AT’ and I have both had great jobs, made lots of money. But we grew up in households where family is there for you, and not just emotionally and physically.  The girl he was seeing wouldn’t stop bring up that his parents helped with his down payment for his apartment he bought, that they paid for his education, that they talked all the time, and so on.

It’s a small thing, those small comments that really dig at you. Now my parents (and ‘AT’s) don’t shower me with money.  But if I was to ask they would help me, problem has become I don’t really want to ask.

So I need a guy in my life that won’t question, and more importantly won’t judge me for actions at the end of the day I can’t help.  I can’t help that my parents love and support me in everything I do and they show it in ways like money. I love my parents more then anything and anyone, and that is the relationship we have. They will always be there. Guys have come and gone, and will probably continue to do so.  So at the end of the day I guess I’m searching for one who can love me and my family too….oh and I guess also putting up with my mother maybe showing up out of the blue to do his laundry.