The Lost Plum…

I did  a post back in September on things a guy could do to me/ for me/ with me that would make me swoon.

A few of the things I mentioned fall under the things I want to “do” as in on a date.  Take me out, and lets have an adventure, let’s have fun.  If I have fun and laugh my ass off you got me wrapped around your finger.  It’s true, I know it….and now you all know it!

Here is the thing. I friggen love sports related dates.

I love going to a game, and I love doing something sporty. I might seem nervous or anxious and I just might suck at as ’sport’.  But I’m always up for the challenge!

Here is the other thing: I’m competitive as poo.

I’m not competitive in the sense of throw you down, bad sportsmanship. I just want to win so bad, and I hat eto break it to you but, I ALWAYS do win!

I truly do win every time. I win because I have an amazing time. In fact, I most definitely will have more fun then you at whatever game we play and thus I always win.

I went go-cart racing the other day. My friend “theb0y” may have lapped me a total of 6 times but you better believe i was giggles and smiles from ear to ear under my helmet from the moment I hit the gas.  I totally won that race, and always will win.

So yeah a guy who wants to compete with me but understands that I always will win would make me do back flips. In fact, better back flips then he could ever do, cause you know I always win.

I was having a late night DM back and forth with my favorite Mexican Nando. He posed the question to me about a topic a lot of “dating” bloggers have been writing about.

FACT: I’m not really a fan of being lumped into the group “dating blogger” but people do it so I laugh it off and nod.

So the non date date?  Well my DMs with Nando sparked thoughts running through my head about the topic, not that I hadn’t thought of it before. Really like everyone is writing about it.

SIDEBAR: Everyone has their opinions and all the blogs I have read on the topic are right in their own way. It’s dating and relationships we all think different.

Read Nando’s post for a nice break down of what other have said and his thoughts on the subject. Now as he states in his blog (actually he “direct quotes” me) I am not a fan of this term. Without going into a big explanation and give meanings and descriptions of terms let me just say this.  A date is a date. Putting the word “non” in front of it makes it impersonal and counteracts the term “date”.

It is pretty impossible to believe that people go out after communicating and there isn’t some time of attraction or intriguer on at least one of those peoples part.

And that statement brings me to the thing I hate most about this term.  The term Non date date is truly heterosexual.  It really is.  Its basic description is to label two people going out/spending time together, as not “dating”.  Ok, but no one has ever used this term (at least to my knowledge) said this about the same sex. I’ve met a lot of Twitter friends in really life who are female. And no one would ever think to call it a non-date date.  Seriously.  People use this term as an escape. They can’t use the “we’re just friends” one cause they aren’t. Most of the time they are just meeting, so what, they should throw up the “non date date” sign.

People have mentioned that if you don’t split the bill it is a date, and there for a non date date. Again, I call bullshit. I have gone out with plenty of friends (male and female) where one person will pick up the tab. I’ve also meet friends for little coffee talks, and get to know you moments.  Little signs don’t define friendships or connections with others.  (It is either a date or not)

You are making a connection with someone, setting a “commitment”. It is either a date, or it is not. But the likely hood of me ever going on a non-date date is as about as likely as me having a non make-out make-out session.

I’m not drinking the KoolAid, although I like those who are (they look so cute with the purple KoolAid rings around their mouths!)

What’s next should I wear a t-shirt when I go out with my girl friends that says, “ I like cock.”  so as to not confuse anyone about what we are doing or my intensions.

I talked about facebook as a way to meet a potential mate the other day and thought I’d share a story.

When I first moved to New York I was bombarded with friends asking if I was on facebook because they couldn’t find me.

Facebook what is this facebook you speak of, my mind would wander. (We’re talking way back in the early facebook days; they didn’t even have Canadian networks then)

I had a good friend from home ask what it was one time as we chatted. I gave her my login information and was like “check it out”.

She did and with out my knowledge she friend requested about 20 guys in the city who she thought would be good for me. Oh and she would stress good-looking here cause that always equals a good.

I had about three of them add me as friends and one contact me. One day an email via facebook from a seemly nice guy on facebook introducing him self, saying he didn’t remember meeting me but he just moved to the city and didn’t have many friends, asking if we knew each other from some place else. Our emails continued and then they graduated to IM conversation. We spent months chatting for hours into the night. The months went by but I had still yet to meet him but I felt like I knew everything about him. He was slowly becoming one of my best friends in the city, and yet no face-to-face.

We talked on the phone, we late night drunken texted, and then finally we decided we needed an “adventure” not just a meeting, an adventure! We both discussed our love for penguins once and thus our adventure was to go and experience penguins. And this was a big adventure not just a central park advneture an outing all the way out to coney island to the aquriam on a very warm Febuary day (after almost 6months of ‘knowing’ eachother)

We picked up some coffee, and we jumped on the train and rode the train chatting like we’d known eachother for years. I’ve yet to have a more enjoyable subway experience with any other person. It is at the top my list of “perfect NYC days”

He really is one of my best friends and oldest friends since moving here. We’ve experience alot together, and always laughed along the way. He might not always return my texts (hint hint) but I know he’s one of those people I can always count on. And in the lonely city he knows me better then anyone else. If all else fails I know just seeing him makes me light up and smile. I live for times we get to catch up. He tells me tales of his girlfriend of the moment, I regal the ridiculousness that is my life.

It’s funny how we can go out searching for love (even if you don’t do the searching yourself) and find things that are even better then you would expect.

Whenever people get down on ‘dating’ or going out and meeting people I always think of how we find the greatest people in the most unlikely places.  I may still be searching for “mr. right” (or even “mr. right now” ) but I have my “mr.popular” and that’s just fine by me…

Let it be known I AM BACK!  I’ve been absent for a week or so… I know I know, I got all your emails and thanks for the concern!  I was in Chicago without the Internet. Not that I would have had a lot of time to play on it and write for you all, but I did go out there early so I could sit in peace and write.

One of my best friends ‘JAM’ decided she’d go and marry ‘Roommate’. Anyways, as one of the only single bridesmaids (one of two out of 8 to be more specific) I went to this wedding expecting nothing in regards to “boys”.

In fact, ‘JAM’ and ‘Roommate’ informed me pre-wedding (on multiple occasions):

“There are no single men coming to our wedding!”

Not that I was looking to ‘hook up’ with a man or boy at this wedding.  But it got me thinking. Why was I informed that there were no single men and in particular no single groomsmen?  When in fact, there were not only single men, but also three single groomsmen. Three very attractive, fun, and wonderful groomsmen.  Hmm….make me think….hmmm….

Why would have they told me there wouldn’t be………?  (scratching head)

If you want to read alittle more about the wedding check out His Royal Shivness’ blog about the event.  He was the forth-single groomsman and by far my favorite (just don’t tell the other guys!)

FACT:  I was the only bridesmaid to go out drinking and karaokeing with all the groomsmen after the rehearsal dinner!….of course I was!

SIDEBAR:  My favorite of my reader’s concerned emails this past week was from Chris.  “Did some creeper guy lure you into his apartment and put you in a cage?  Do we need to send the dogs out on your scent?  That was not a subtle way of asking for your clothes but if you feel so inclined I am partial to boy-shorts,”

I wrote the other day about having stuff from the past being confirmed.  I’ve never seen my comments light up with such frenzy (you guys are more the silent type when it comes to comments)

Now, everyone can take away from that post what they will, and think of me what they will (heck, and even think of him what you will) but at the end of the day the issue for me becomes (and always will be): Lying

And not for the obvious reasons you may think.

I am such a trusting person. I believe pretty much anything people tell me if it is not completely ridiculous. (There is a difference between gullible and trusting, I am far from gullible)

More importantly I’m easy to lie to. I just naturally will trust someone, and more so people I know and even worse people I care for.

SIDEBAR: My parents think it’s a miracle I wasn’t kidnapped as a child. I to this day might get even get into a strangers car if they told me my mom sent them to pick me up.

I think this is because I am such a terrible liar. Really I’m bad at it! You can read it on my face, in my voice, and it’s just bad news.

FACT: I’m good with secrets but not surprises. I’m always someone’s go to “are they planning a surprise party for me?” Cause you can see the “yes” on my face as I smile and nod “no”.

I’m intrigued by people who are amazing liars, and maybe sometimes jealous. I never believe someone could be lying to me because it’s so hard for me to do back.  However, maybe this is why I ‘fall’ for lying guys all the time. They intrigue me.  I don’t know it at the time but, that hidden thing that fascinates me might just be their ability to manipulate the truth….. Wow I guess I do have a type after all!

In ever relationship advice column known to man one of the key things is: Be honest with each other.  Now granted, I haven’t read everything on relationships, heck, I haven’t really read anything about relationships.

If honesty, is such a key part of a relationship why is lying such a key part of our society?

People know I’m a bad liar, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve been told I’ve gotten better at the “white lie”.  Those everyday lies we all tell each other. You know the ones.  The “I mailed it yesterday”, “did you not get my text?”, “I’ll call you later,” white lies, which in a way make our world function.

If lying is so bad, why do so many of us do it?  Maybe, what I’ve been doing wrong all along when it comes to boys is being completely honest and trusting of them (and of all people, really) All my friends in long term, seeming good relationships tell me of lies they have told, and secrets they have from their partners all the time.

Maybe lying is the key to a great relationship. Ever stop to think about that one? It is a trait that is distinctly human. It’s in our DNA. It is what separates us from the animals. Except octopuses’, I don’t trust those 8 legged freaks!

Maybe I’ve got something here, or maybe I’m just lying to myself!

(reason #___why I’m single: I don’ trust octopuses’, and if I had to be a sea animal I’d be a manatee hands down!)