The Lost Plum…

I had a great night out the other day. A much needed fun night out with one of my best friends “mr.popular”.

We had a great dinner, great drinks, and as always a great conversation, which as per usual managed to cover “relationships”.

FACT: Relationships where not discussed before the awesomeness that is the Team Canada line up this year. (for Olympic hockey if you didn’t know)

So…..there has been (or was) a guy that popped into the picture (my picture) alittle while ago. Who I haven’t seen too often, and we aren’t officially anything, but he’s there. I may or may not have wrote about him, but that doesn’t matter.

Point is “mr.popular” and I are talking, discussing and breaking the situation down. Well actually, I’m breaking it down (me talk talk talking) and then:

“Stop!”

“What?”  I of course look around me thinking he has spotted a hot girl and therefore cannot process my talking and his picturing her naked at the same time. (Believe me this point is not exaggerated!!!)

“He has a name”

“Yeah,  ’mr. has a name’.”

“No, I know. The point is he has a name! (We exchange this strange smile thing back a forth that we do) I’ve known you for a real long time and I have never heard you refer to a guy by his name”

“I know!” I shake and lower my head in shame.

And there it was, alittle truth about me. Much like this blog I give guys ‘nicknames’. From the guy I spent 2minutes talking to at the bar, to the guy I dated for 7months. There was ‘newyearsboy’, ‘filmboy’, ‘tallboy’, ‘marriedguy’,'bartenderdude’….you name it I’ve come up with a name.

And yet, there it was a name: ‘mr. has a name’.

I’ve talked about this once before. And yet, I find myself in the same place, under different pretenses, with different feelings. However, as always I’m confused by life and relationships in general.

So I gave a guy a name…..now what?!

FACT: ‘mr.popular’ and I chatted about alot of things, and thus be prepared for a flood of posts involving him and our past adventures!

This should be a post where I talk about the New Year upon us (NOT a new decade!) and talk about the past year and what it has meant to me, or even what this next year will bring.  Nope, this isn’t one of those posts, well not really…

I was chatting with my mom last night. She’s very confused by the whole ‘blog thing’. She gets it, but for the life of her can’t figure out why anyone would read it.

“They do realize your challenged, right?”

“Yes, mum”

“Ok, well what do you write about? What could you possibly say?”

“I don’t know… about life and stuff”.

“Ok…as long as you aren’t writing about sex, or putting naked pictures of yourself up on the interneter screen”

“I’d have to having sex to talk about it mum.”

“Don’t say that! I don’t want to know about that. Stop…maybe you can talk about all the nice men you know, rather then all the gommies you always find.”

“Yeah, ok thanks Tips”

“You know I don’t like it when you call me TIPS.”(A mothers sigh to be heard across the country)

Maybe my mom has a point. Not about me being challenged, that’s a whole other point. Mama Plum makes a good point about guys. I have found some real ‘gommies’ out there, and I might have high standards (according to everyone but me) but maybe that is because there are men (guys/boys/whatever) in my life that are so amazing it’s virtually impossible to find someone to compare.

Maybe I should start writing about all the amazing great guys (who I’d never date) I have in my life. Maybe as the year winds down I should think of all the wonderful friends I have, who really are the best (boy)friends one could ever hope for.

SIDEBAR: I had to throw in a little end of the year nostalgia for good measure.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about life, love, relationships, and all that jazz.

SIDEBAR: I know I know an emotional post…..gawd I know I’m turning into every other stupid dating/relationship blogger.

I moved to this city almost 5 years ago. I moved here with some suitcases (well and a ton of boxes, lets be real here) and nothing else.  Now I know that is a typical story line for this city. But I do have a point here. I moved here with no one and knowing no one.  In fact the only person I “knew” in the city was @aussieinthecity who I had about a month long conversation about gradschool woes and visa junk as we both embarked on our adventures of moving from another country to attend the same program at Columbia University.

But the thing I don’t have is friends I’ve known before I moved here. I have no friends I have known since high school, no friends I went to university with.  Everyone I know in this city I know since I’ve been here.

Now there is nothing wrong with this, and I have some of the most amazing friends here in the city. Friends who I might not see all the time but are here for me whenever I need them, friends I feel like I have known forever.

In fact, when I look back at places I’ve worked, projects I’ve been involved with, I generally never think of experience and knowledge I’ve gained. I think of that one person I gained. That one friend who makes all the difference in my life.

Now I miss my friends so much that I’ve had since high school and since university. But as we all know those are the friends that when you see them it’s like you never left. You fall into a wonderful routine and the conversation flows.

And that is what I miss. I don’t miss great conversation. I get that here with lots of friends. I miss friends who know my history. To be more precise who know my dating and relationship history.  You know the friends, that know off the bat as soon as you say things like “I really like this guy” they get it, cause they have a long back story of what you like and don’t like. They know how you work in relationships, how you love, and what you need.  I have not been in a long-term exclusive relationship since moving to this city where friends here have meet the other person I was involved with.  So how do they know what I like, need, want, and react to?  The answer is they don’t and they can’t.

Yes we can have conversations about my dating life, their dating life, and what have you, but I never am satisfied by the conversation.  In fact, I want to say that the fact I run and hide and find fault in every ‘relationship’ I’ve been in over the last 4 years has been because I truly don’t have someone to gage the situation and make things real to me.  All I get is opinions based on well opinions. There is nothing based on fact or history or knowledge of me.

Relationships are dirty, complicated, and intense. I function in life (not just in relationships) based a lot of previous relationships, how I move, how I treat people, and how I let myself be treated are all based on my past.  And sometimes I simple wish I had a friend here who could look at my face and just know how I feel about a boy……

I haven’t really been going out with guys lately(officially). There are a million reasons why, but I get far to many emails from all of you saying you like it better when I write about dates I’ve been on. Well here is the thing guys (I say guys not only cause I use that term in general but because all my emails are only from males)

I don’t like writing about my dating life. I went out the other night with some friends; one of them “singlegal” (check her blog out) said she has a second date rule. If she gets a second date she doesn’t write about him. I on the other hand say if I like him or think there is great potential than I don’t write about him…we both agreed though that once they turn douchebag all bets are off.

So maybe I may need to reach back into my candy jar of past dates to satisfy your sweet tooth for the ridiculousness that has been my dating life, or maybe I should write about what’s happening right now, or maybe I’ll just start writing about cake (I love cake)

I guess you’ll just have to stay tuned.

I did  a post back in September on things a guy could do to me/ for me/ with me that would make me swoon.

A few of the things I mentioned fall under the things I want to “do” as in on a date.  Take me out, and lets have an adventure, let’s have fun.  If I have fun and laugh my ass off you got me wrapped around your finger.  It’s true, I know it….and now you all know it!

Here is the thing. I friggen love sports related dates.

I love going to a game, and I love doing something sporty. I might seem nervous or anxious and I just might suck at as ’sport’.  But I’m always up for the challenge!

Here is the other thing: I’m competitive as poo.

I’m not competitive in the sense of throw you down, bad sportsmanship. I just want to win so bad, and I hat eto break it to you but, I ALWAYS do win!

I truly do win every time. I win because I have an amazing time. In fact, I most definitely will have more fun then you at whatever game we play and thus I always win.

I went go-cart racing the other day. My friend “theb0y” may have lapped me a total of 6 times but you better believe i was giggles and smiles from ear to ear under my helmet from the moment I hit the gas.  I totally won that race, and always will win.

So yeah a guy who wants to compete with me but understands that I always will win would make me do back flips. In fact, better back flips then he could ever do, cause you know I always win.