The Lost Plum…

I joke a lot on here about my mom. I do, I know I do. I make fun of her in a playful way to her face too, she cool with it…well depending on the topic (this one still upsets her, but my bro and I find it funny to bring up anyways)

But my mom is maybe the best relationship I have in my life. My family in general is.  They have always been consistent, and reliable, and willing to do anything and everything for me.

I had the most wonderful talk last night with both mamaplum and daddyplum on the phone.  We talked work, friends, life, business, and boys (well my dad did not partake in the talk about boys) I finished up the conversation feeling good about number one: feeling good about me, and confident in me!

I’ve been getting flack from some of you saying I’m starting to write all emotional on you, yeah maybe I am right now, but no worries it’s stopping.

My family does things for me that they probably don’t have to. I’m in my late 20s and every once and awhile my dad will put money on my credit card, my mom still sends me care packages, she offers to fly here to do my laundry and clean and cook for me when I seem stressed, and I know my parents would happily eat soup from a can for months before they let either my brother or I do so.

FACT: My mom asked last night if I was eating healthy I told her I had a salad with chicken for dinner….I ate toast and a pomegranate.

I lied to her not cause she would be mad, but because if I told her that there would be a FreshDirect box of vegetables and good food at my door in the morning.

So how does this transform back to my dating life you may ask? Well it made me think back to a conversation I had with one of my great guy friends ‘AT’. He was thinking of ending a relationship he was about 2 months into.  There were lots of reason (she was crazy….like clock is ticking already had a dress hanging in her closet crazy) but one thing he brought up struck a small cord and made total sense to me.

He said he just couldn’t be with someone that didn’t understand that no matter how financially secure he is in his life; he will never be finically free from his parents.  Now ‘AT’ and I have both had great jobs, made lots of money. But we grew up in households where family is there for you, and not just emotionally and physically.  The girl he was seeing wouldn’t stop bring up that his parents helped with his down payment for his apartment he bought, that they paid for his education, that they talked all the time, and so on.

It’s a small thing, those small comments that really dig at you. Now my parents (and ‘AT’s) don’t shower me with money.  But if I was to ask they would help me, problem has become I don’t really want to ask.

So I need a guy in my life that won’t question, and more importantly won’t judge me for actions at the end of the day I can’t help.  I can’t help that my parents love and support me in everything I do and they show it in ways like money. I love my parents more then anything and anyone, and that is the relationship we have. They will always be there. Guys have come and gone, and will probably continue to do so.  So at the end of the day I guess I’m searching for one who can love me and my family too….oh and I guess also putting up with my mother maybe showing up out of the blue to do his laundry.

On Saturday I talked about the ‘bad’ date I had with the boy who asked too many inappropriate questions. And now I have realized he just might be inappropriate all together, or at least have boundary issues.

Whenever the conversation moves towards cell phones which frankly somehow always happens.  I’m not one to really bring it up but for some reason I find guys bring them up all the time. They are checking out the type of phone you have. Which is cool cause honestly I don’t think I can date a guy with a completely out of date cell phone.

SIDEBAR: I’m a blackberry girl.  Have been for a very very long time (and I mean very very long time)

So “Question boy” and I were talking about phones, he has an iphone and I have my blackberry we talked about the pros and cons of each, he talked about apps….blah blah blah.

FACT: I do not find this conversation amusing or appropriate for a ‘date’ but it’s not one of the things I hold against him.

When talking about my phone I bring up one small fact.  Which I think is important in knowing about me. It may lead you to believe I am crazy, but in fact it may lead you more o believe how I work.

FACT: I sleep with my phone…or at least am getting better at not.

Yup, I sleep with my phone! I cradle it in my hand softly to my side, or I hold it to my chest,  I know I know!  I have been working on this really hard, especially since I know have a jobs where its not really necessary to answer emails right away, and the job before that required answering of the phone asap at all hours of the night.

I am slowly breaking away from my blackberry cuddles, and moving my phone to a nightstand or such. Yet some how it seems to land in my hands anyways. (Judge if you want but if there is an emergency I got my phone!)

So, I told ‘question boy” this fact about me, a fact he kept repeating and asking about.  I explained one thing, that I have emails shut off on it, so I no longer wake up to emails (I get lots of spam in the early mornings) so basically it’s only the alarms, text messages and phone calls that I get on it. (from 2am-700am, but still!) Like I explained to him it is rare you get ‘spam’ texts or phone calls.

Another thing we talked about was the fact that I was about to make a business trip.  I am indeed right now writing this blog from Utah.  In fact, he asked me a lot about this trip.  I explained many times that my big business meeting (the reason) I was coming was on Monday (TODAY) and that I was going in a few days early to see a good friend, AND THEN…

This morning at 5:21am (Utah time) I feel a text message vibrate with it’s sound.  I have a text., and it’s from, you guessed it “question boy”

“ YAWNNN!! I’m up at airport waiting for my plane. Have a great turkey weekend!!!!!!!!! “

5 minutes later another buzz:   “Oh right you are a silly canuak and don’t like our turkey. HA!!!!!!!”

about 10 minutes later:  “ Hate the airport on Monday mornings!! Shouldn’t you be up and getting ready for your important meetings? Get up!!!!!”

about 5 minutes later: “Are you up yet?  You said this meeting was important. Good luck have fun!!!!!”

To which warranted a response:

“It is like fucking 5:30am here! Please stop texting me, and contacting me in general. Thank you.  Also, for future reference you should also stop using so many explanation marks!”

SIDEBAR: What is a ‘canuak ‘ ?

I talked about facebook as a way to meet a potential mate the other day and thought I’d share a story.

When I first moved to New York I was bombarded with friends asking if I was on facebook because they couldn’t find me.

Facebook what is this facebook you speak of, my mind would wander. (We’re talking way back in the early facebook days; they didn’t even have Canadian networks then)

I had a good friend from home ask what it was one time as we chatted. I gave her my login information and was like “check it out”.

She did and with out my knowledge she friend requested about 20 guys in the city who she thought would be good for me. Oh and she would stress good-looking here cause that always equals a good.

I had about three of them add me as friends and one contact me. One day an email via facebook from a seemly nice guy on facebook introducing him self, saying he didn’t remember meeting me but he just moved to the city and didn’t have many friends, asking if we knew each other from some place else. Our emails continued and then they graduated to IM conversation. We spent months chatting for hours into the night. The months went by but I had still yet to meet him but I felt like I knew everything about him. He was slowly becoming one of my best friends in the city, and yet no face-to-face.

We talked on the phone, we late night drunken texted, and then finally we decided we needed an “adventure” not just a meeting, an adventure! We both discussed our love for penguins once and thus our adventure was to go and experience penguins. And this was a big adventure not just a central park advneture an outing all the way out to coney island to the aquriam on a very warm Febuary day (after almost 6months of ‘knowing’ eachother)

We picked up some coffee, and we jumped on the train and rode the train chatting like we’d known eachother for years. I’ve yet to have a more enjoyable subway experience with any other person. It is at the top my list of “perfect NYC days”

He really is one of my best friends and oldest friends since moving here. We’ve experience alot together, and always laughed along the way. He might not always return my texts (hint hint) but I know he’s one of those people I can always count on. And in the lonely city he knows me better then anyone else. If all else fails I know just seeing him makes me light up and smile. I live for times we get to catch up. He tells me tales of his girlfriend of the moment, I regal the ridiculousness that is my life.

It’s funny how we can go out searching for love (even if you don’t do the searching yourself) and find things that are even better then you would expect.

Whenever people get down on ‘dating’ or going out and meeting people I always think of how we find the greatest people in the most unlikely places.  I may still be searching for “mr. right” (or even “mr. right now” ) but I have my “mr.popular” and that’s just fine by me…

So a trending topic right now (and lets face it always) is healthcare and all that covers.  I am not here to talk about the issues, tell you my slant on things, or even give an opinion.  I will say at the end of the day I don’t know all that is on the table, in fact people might say I’m actually ‘ignorant’ to the topic, I tend to be so with most political topics.  I think differently then most kids who grew up in a “political” home. I hit a point where I just “stopped listening,” and grew tired of debating long ago. (I get the jest, know how I feel, and move forward)

Now, as we all know I’m not American, and although I do buy health insurance in this country I still have most of my medications sent to me and filled in my homeland. Call it cheaper, call it a travesty in the health care systems, call it whatever you want to. I call it convenient. I don’t have to deal with it. Mama Plum deals with it and sends me wonderful care packages.

I received a wonderful depressing care package from Mama Plum the other day.  I say depressing because it was medication and that’s about it. Oh I think there was a pack of gum thrown in there, but other then that not a typical “care package”

Inside the package was another envelope. My first thought was CASH! YES! But then I notice the note on the outside of the envelope.

“ I just found out that [   ] makes you more fertile. WATCH OUT! BE CAREFUL!  That is the last thing you need to deal with.”

And what was inside the envelopes? Why condoms of course! What else would it have been!?

I think I’ve reached a turning point of sex ‘talks’ with my mother.  I knew it was all going to be down hill from here.

Things in my life are changing, mainly in the job/money world. I’m taking some bigger risks then I’ve ever taken before, and here’s hoping they payoff.

My mother and I last night on the phone discussed the different paths I’ve taken in life. Or as she put it, “driving in a corn field trying to find the road!” (Oh and don’t forget her constant reminders of how well the economy is doing in Canada)

“I bet you wish you could tell yourself at 18 to do something different!”

“Yeah, mom, but not in the way you think!”

So, if I could tell my 18 year old self 10 words of wisdom from the future what would they be?”

1.  Breakup with ‘firstguy’ now. Like 2 years ago NOW! Walk away, and don’t let your bruised up body turn back!

2. That knee brace you’re supposed to wear while playing sports, wear it! Trust me.

3. The car was blue. I know you think it was green, but it was blue! Remember that.

4. GM shares: sell now. Yup, I mean it sell sell sell now!

5. Moving off campus into a house with 7girls is not, and never will be a good idea.

6.   Take some more business classes!

7.  Write more.

8.  Student government sounds like a good idea. But in reality it isn’t.

9.  Get a breast reduction now. Don’t wait. It will change your life.

10.  Buy a mac computer now!