The Lost Plum…

On the last session of Dating Boot Camp something Matt said was interesting to me. He said that guys think about the negatives when it comes to past relationships while girls think about the positives. So basically, girls remember how nice it was to have a man buy them things, take them out, hold them, and tell them they love them, yada yada yada… While guys just remember when we turned into the crazy-soon-to-be-ex-psycho-bitch!

Am I doing something wrong? I’m starting to think my penis really is hiding down there somewhere! I don’t reminisce about the good things about being in a relationship. Sure I’ll admit it’s nice to have one/ be in one…but hold the horses for a minute, cause my bads outweigh the goods. And in fact, I think all single girls bads out weigh the goods. See women-girls-the female sex in general I think are more forgiving, more apt to put up with “crap” from a relationship.  

I don’t have a statistic to put here but in my scientific-guess-estimation (I did take 2 university physics class so I’m totally qualified to do so)

86.5% of women will stay in a relationship with the wrong guy while only 17.92% of men will!

We might “think” about the good because we block the bad, but “reminisce” about it, I highly doubt this!  If we wanted to stay in that relationship we would have. Women can be push over’s like that (now granted this doesn’t account for being dumped, but even then why spend thinking about that douche-bag)

Every guy I meet I’ll automatically pick out why he is or isn’t my type. “IS” equals as my friends so delicately put it, “an asshole-douche-bag-prick” and “IS NOT” my type equals “something has to be wrong with this guy!” (And the something wrong usually ends up being they are an asshole-douche-bag-prick)

Now I’ve had some great relationships and meet some of my bestest friends by dating them first, however, I always lean towards the negatives when I think of relationships. I don’t seek them out in hopes of recreating a “nice” feeling I’ve had in the past. Hell no! I always think the negative first…

My top 5 ‘negative’ thoughts I have about men….

1- He will cheat on me. Period!  (I don’t have to go into this…it has happened EVERY time)

2 – Date nights will turn into “come to my place lets have sex” (This is only negative in the sense that I do like to go out….sex is never a negative, well except for….)

3 – Sex will probably be bad. (I’m not hard to please in the end, but “this guy” probably isn’t going to rock my world, in fact, he probably wont)

4- He’s broken! (If he’s single he’s probably been broken by some girl….the bitch-ex-psycho, who I will then have to hear about all the time)

5- He going to get to serious way to fast….(I’m not looking to lay down roots anytime soon, but in between the douches I end up finding the “lets get married even though I just meet you” guys)

 (reason #___why I’m single: I’m always looking for the negatives)

First Date Rules that Dating Boot Camp taught me, that I threw out the window last night:

 A 2 drink minimum!

we need to change this to at least a 4 drink minimum, seriously! And last night it needed to be at least 6…maybe 8…

 No sex for 90 days!

if you have sex 9 times on the first date does that some how cancel that rule out?

FACT: At least I didn’t eat my hair, well not on purpose!

This past week at Boot Camp we learned the do’s and don’ts of the bedroom. Now most all of these were ridiculaius, and mostly ridiculaious because if you find a guy who will wait 90days for you, I’m pretty sure he isn’t going to care what you do. He’s just happy to be getting SEX!

One of the Taboo things was: No Drunk Girls in the Bedroom.  

Now drunk relationship sex I assume is different, but if you’ve waited your “90″ days, I’m sorry that IS a RELATIONSHIP! (and 3 of the man-panel men agree with me that 90days is in fact a full-blown relationship)

So the pros and cons of drunk, and I mean drunk sex! (Obviously my opinion. I’d say experience but obviously I always wait my 90days)

PROS

You are having sex! Do I really need more pros!

I’ve already been drinking which makes me more apt to agree to come to your place for another “drink”, “watch a movie”, “meet your dog”…. (We all know the typical used lines)

I’ll probably agree to what you want.

Generally more able to toss, position, move, push, and pull me.

You’re having sex what more do you want!

CONS

I’m vocally louder and might say, “I’m drunk we shouldn’t be doing this” at least 10times.

My head just might be spinning and sometimes that means this is how we’re doing this for little bit.

I laugh a lot (I don’t think this is a con, but Boot Camp also said “no laughing in bed allowed”)

I just might look like and feel like a mess in the morning, and maybe dry heave in your sink (I don’t puke in toilets. period. I don’t really puke.)

Your sheets are going to smell like sweat, sex, and booze for days.

If you don’t like sex, then this is a con! (but then I wouldn’t suggest challenging me to a drinking contest!)

SIDEBAR: I don’t see why they would even inform us of not having drunk sex, because you aren’t even allowed to have more then 2 drinks on a date in the first place.

So Dating Boot Camp is over. Done. No more. I am apparently ready to take on the world of ‘dating’! 

I have alot to say about tonight and boot camp in general. But since I’m home late (a theme for the week/a theme in general, let’s be honest for a minute here) and I need to rise early I will say this.

I am actually going to miss the man panel!

I’m poked fun at them a few times, yes. BUT: They made the thing enjoyable funny and some (not all) of the time honest. And they are all just great funny guys too…..and in a room full of women (most over 35) they were “Kings”!

We’ve had 2 3 or 4 ‘dates’ together; me and man panel. And that my friends is a “relationship” and now they have walked out of my life with a “goodbye” and even a ‘fist-pound’. Off into the night….. Hmmm…….do you think they just aren’t that into me!?

*sigh*  I guess we’ll always have Boot Camp!

SIDEBAR: Was to busy talking to people I missed the draw box for a free personal session of boot camp. Simone laughed about this saying I “had to win it.” I laughed cause she so knows I’d show up day one in PJs and food in my teeth! 

FACT: It’s way to late, but that doesn’t mean I’m not watching GAME 6 right now on DVR!

Today was the final night of Dating Boot Camp, and the ‘theme’ of the evening was the do’s and don’ts of first dates and everything after that (yes even sex)

Simone and I had agreed before hand that one of us had to ask a question. (And with no surprise it was I) We joked and conversed about questions to ask the man panel. Simon even posed it to her Twitter friends and we spent the day twittering about the ridiculous that one could ask.

As we found ourselves at Man Panel time, and as question in regards to losing erections, first kisses, and such bounced around I raised my hand (with authority I might add)

I take the mic:  “You’ve waited your 90days, or 9days, or even 9hours and your are with a woman who is by far more experienced then you, she knows what she wants and defiantly what she is doing. Your first thought is (beat) ‘Awesome!’ But your second and long term thought about a sexually confident woman is what?”

‘Awesome’ was echoed quite a few times with rapid headshakes and then:  One of our lovely men said he might honestly be alittle scared. Two others agreed that basically as long as a “safety word” didn’t have to be established it was cool.

And then this GEM:  ”I would wonder how she got so good” …”what she did to graduate from miner leagues to the majors”

*Hugh*What*Seriously*

Now first off this is a room full of woman over 30 who should be good at sex and most importantly Confident. Confident in themselves and in their sexual ability, no matter what it might be. (if not they need to work on themselves before they take on trying to learn about men)

Second off, this is one of those rules that don’t really go both ways between the sexes. (unlike the “numbers” conversation)

Women do NOT sit thinking how a guy got so good at sex: Defiantly not in the moment, and defiantly not after!  They might praise how good it was, but no girlfriend over mannis/peddies (or beers) is going to question how he got so good. She’s probably just jealous.

And who is to say a girl just can’t naturally be good at something? Just because she is “good” a guy has to assume she has had practice, and that  some how has to automatically mean it was with multiple people…..

REALLY GUYS!  (just like life some people are naturally good at things)

FACT: I don’t care what you had to do(or who you had to do) to graduate to the majors, I’m just happy your swinging your bat my way….