But thing is I didn’t feel right posting here the last little while. It just didn’t seem right.  I started to taper off a while ago, then would proclaim “I’m back” but truthfully I was never feeling it, and so I’d drift away into the night again. It wouldn’t go unnoticed, I’d get your comments, your emails, your tweets, asking where your Sunday PULL was or that post I promised on ‘this or that’ but after awhile those stop too. And then today (or should I say yesterday) something shocking happened I had 193 unique hits on my blog… the first time in over 2 years I feel anywhere near under 200 or even 300.  And something in that hit me. I don’t know what it was just something hit me. Not in an “ I better get cracking” or “oh no” or even “what the hell where is my love” kind of way, just in a “isn’t that interesting” kind of way.  It is kind of interesting how when you stop talking (or should I say typing) after a while people just stop listening. Almost like you never were there, like it never meant anything to them, or even to you……and “isn’t that interesting” at getting lost on the side of the road of this information super highway.

Now lostplum has been here since 2006…. and became a steadier stream of consciousness in February of 2008. That’s 3 years…. 3!

3 great years…..I’ve meet some great people via this blog, and had some great adventures, and yes some bad ones as well.

I’m proud to say I have never just banged out a post for the purpose of blogging everyday. I don’t just sit down and say “I’m here world pay attention…I have nothing of value or usefulness, but here’s a fun video cause I’m lame today” I’d like to think I’ve always posted something that even if it didn’t make others think or made them laugh it did those things to me. I always provide content…i think….well maybe….

Hold your horses…. this isn’t a goodbye letter!

Lately I’ve been in a blog rut.

A RUT!

That’s all it has been. I just had no motivation to post. (Notice I didn’t say writing rut…cause I have been writing) A very “what’s the point of it all” moment in my head…..this moment has lasted a few months.

I don’t apologize: why should I?!

It just is what it is…. it has been what it has been.

But here is the thing. When looking at that under 200 mark I hit today it clicked in my head that it doesn’t really matter if 200 people read this, or 2000 or even 2. I read it and I say things that matter to me. I don’t do this for anyone else…I have lots of other projects I do for others. This is just my little world (it’s getting old just like me) where I talk about those ever important issues like relationships, dating, friends, boys, sex, guys, the odd few men, and even love.

I just LOST my place on the page for a little while…. bare with me I think I’ll be finding my way back soon.

FACT: I’m posting at 2am that has to say something!

I’ve been working, playing, escaping, enjoying, stressing, working, laughing, crying, writing and enjoying all things offline (but still on) and trying to figure out how one comes back after an absence like mine.

What do I write? What do I say? Do I talk life, love, relationship status, make a stupid list, discuss the hot ‘topics’? What is a plum to do?

So….I do what any normal person in my predicament would do. I write down 15 topics and pick one from a hat. Actually I number them and have the computer generate a random number, but lets pretend a hat was involved.

I ‘pull’ THE IDEA OF LOVE.

A little heavy for one to come back with don’t you think.

Why did I even write that topic down I have nothing in mind for it. Why couldn’t the computer have said 3? I want to tell that embarrassing story that goes perfectly with number 3, but I get number 8: THE IDEA OF LOVE.

I need to think about this one for the day.

Tomorrow I will write about THE IDEA OF LOVE.

I am back after all, what else do you want?

In true Plum fashion, to put it simply, I’m Lost.

I’ve talked about commercials before. I’m bothered by a commercial that deal with “female issues”, I just am. I’ve talked before on how I don’t like the women in most of them, and then I talked about how some point out how stupid the female population is. But this one takes the cake on pointing out how stupid/dumb/ridiculous the female population can be.

Bayer has come out with a new ad champagne that encourages women to learn more about their birth control. This comes off the back of them being sued millions of dollars for apparently not adequately informing women about the health risks.

Ok first off, if you take any medications you should know what it is, how it works, how it affects your body and interacts with other drugs you take. Your health should always be number one. You need to understand how stuff works. That’s “Living 101.”

Anyways, so although I agree that it’s good of Bayer to let you know that you should take control of your health I have an issue with their commercials. A huge issue.

If you haven’t seen the commercial in question let me break it down for you. There are these women who are blind folded feeling a rhinoceros.  They touch the rhino all over and are trying to figure out what they are touching.

These women give the absolute dumbest answers that one could ever say while feeling up a living breathing moving rhino!  Answers given include: a wall, a rope, a pipe, and my all time favorite is the stupid chick who get’s ear slapped in the hand by a rhino and guesses… A BRUSH!

WTF?!  Where are all these stupid women coming from!  At least I’m glad someone is trying to make sure they all know how to use birth control correctly, cause God forbid these dumb ass chicks get pregnant and start procreating…..that is if they can read the pregnancy test.

Oh here’s the link to the commercial so you can watch for yourself.

***********

Oh and if you like, dislike, agree, disagree, or want to cock punch me over this opinion (or me in general) you should check LostPlum (that’s me) out tonight from 10-11pm EST. on Shivio.com because I’m going to be a guest on Abiola on LSD: Love, Sex, Dating. The show is hosted by the ever amazing, always funny, constantly sexy Abiola Abrams!  It’s going to be hot hot hot.  You can watch, listen, chat, and even beam in….with me!

I’ve been writing blog posts, I’ve been working on a book, and I finished my screenplay (well it might need a few editing’s) I just haven’t posted anything.

I’ve been in a funk. Which then got worse, and seemed to spiral. I’ve been feeling for lack of a better word LOST. But maybe I’m just scared, and maybe for one of the first times ever alittle self conscious about my blogging…..and maybe about myself.

I’m not in a work funk or a social funk, and I am far from a dating/love life funk, I’m just sorta in a funk about blogging….a funk about this information super highway where we all put our words out there.

So in true Lost Plum fashion as I pull myself out of this funk (I’ve got so many hot and exciting things to help with that!)

I decided to make a list.

6 Things I love about this Blog.

1. The Layout and Design. I like things that look clean and aren’t full of jumbled up crap. It flows nicely, has nice white spacing, and isn’t hard on the eyes (much like yours truly)

2. The ability to vent, share, and let my creative voice flow. Having an outlet that doesn’t talk back (except for in the comments) is a nice release.

3. My new found friendships and readers. I love my twitter friends, my  blog readers, my commenter’s, the people that engage with me, and even the haters. Every single one of you (them) in every single way. Even if you judge me that’s ok, just know I don’t judge you back, I’m just happy to have you.

4. The amazing emails I get. There are tons, and I really do try to get back to all of them, I really do.  Even the hate mail I read and see the “good” in doing so. I love the perspective all the comments and questions bring to my life.

5. My little avatar/header/photo/ME.  The picture reminds me of good great friends! And reminds me of great times in my life. It makes me smile, smirk and tip my glasses while I raise my eyebrow.

6. That no matter what I can add even something silly like this to the pile and it gets me out of a certain funk…..at somewhat.

Sorry……

Maybe I’ve been stressed, maybe I’ve been out drinking too much, maybe I’ve been working on the screen play, maybe I’ve been working on actual work work, maybe, just maybe I’ve been spending lots of time with a boy.

What have you been up too?

It’s March. When did that happen? And to top that all off it is March 2010! Seems like only a year ago I was professing my love for Peeps on Twitter.

Note to self: Profess love for Peeps on Twitter.

The last few months have been busy. Filled with stress, heart breaks, and new exciting ventures. New people, new adventures, and being officially moved into my new apartment.

Not to self: Rethink all white bedroom, given my food/drink accident ratio.

Exciting changes and announcements are on the way here at LostPlum.com

It was not one of my New Years resolutions but I’m adding to that resolutions list to be better at not only posting daily but also responding to your comments and fun emails. I do try, and yeah, sometimes I just sleep in and watch Netflix’s all day.

But if you come here to my little site and find I haven’t posted in a few days you should do the following:

A: Send me mean emails telling me that the only excuses for not posting is my fat ass was busy getting less fat at the gym.

B: Get a life. It’s my blog, and I’ll post if I want.

C: I guess I twitter everyday so you could always just go there if you’re missing out on my amazing wit and charm.

Here’s too all the many  posts to come…whether they be good or not.

FACT: This is a throwaway lame ass post….I know. See bullet B: !

I’m going to be part of an exciting event tomorrow Tuesday Feb 16^th.  Abiola’s Kiss and Tell Live a sexy storytelling and performance series in New York City. Tomorrow night we will honor Deborah Gregory author and creator of The Cheetah Girls. It’s going to be hot hot hot!

The lineup for the evening (in no specific order) Mama Cheetah Deborah Gregory, Twanna Hines the Funky Brown Chick, filmmaker Therese Shechter of Trixie Films, Modern Courtesan Yolanda Shoshana, comic David Lester, Boy Butter creator Eyal Feldman, Lesbian Activist and Writer Renair Amin, Danielle Henderson of Knotty Yarn, singing duo Sabrina and Giorgio, Lost Plum (that’s me!) and Mia “On Top” Martina, erotic podcaster.

Kiss & Tell Live Erotica and Comedy! Fat Tuesday 2/16, free, 7-10pm at Madame X in NYC: http://bit.ly/csczOG

I’m going to read something that has yet to be posted, and may never be posted…so would you miss out!?

See you all there!

And feel bad this morning.  You see I let you all slip.  I mentioned last week that I had the next few weeks all preposted and wrote so that I could focus on work, and my ever-daunting apartment move.

FACT: I hate packing. I hate unpacking. I hate moving.

You see I did prewrite posts for everyday. I was very proud of this fact, and excited that I wouldn’t have to think about it.  Well this morning as I sit in the car waiting. (stupid offside/alternate side parking!)

I was thinking to myself I hadn’t received many comments, or an email in regards to the last few days posts.

This seemed odd. I might not get tons of comments, but I sure do always get emails.

SIDEBAR: I do read and enjoy all your emails. I’ve been really slow at getting back to all of them lately, but your reply is coming just you wait!

So, I go over to the blog, and low and behold I have nothing posted since Sunday. What?! But I wrote posts for the next two weeks, why aren’t they posting?  So I look into it, and there are no scheduled posts to go out that have been missed. In fact there is nothing.

SIDEBAR: There are SUNDAY PULLS, because those I have a backlog of.

Where are all my posts!!??  I was about 2 minutes from crying, and then I realized something.  Yup! I wrote them all in a word document, but never moved them to the blog.  I must have been so proud of myself for doing two weeks worth of blogs in one night that I rewarded myself with sleep and then forgot that I hadn’t complete what I set out to do.

And now I’m thinking how I do this in relationships.  I tend to think I’ve said what I am thinking.  I sometimes believe that guys should be able to read my mind, and therefore I don’t need to tell them how I feel. And this is how I get hurt. It’s like the last week when I talked about those little heartbreaks. The small ones that you try not to notice. Mostly these come about because I never say anything. I don’t stand up and say “HEY MR. YOU! I’VE FALLEN FOR YOU, AND I DON’T WANT TO GET UP” Instead, I assume they know this, I make jokes, brush off the important ‘feelings’ thing and end up not saying anything.

Just like the last few days…I’ve said nothing.  To the three of you that missed me, I’m sorry.