The Lost Plum…

I was at a friends wedding a few months back. Her third wedding at 31. Which isn’t the issue here. In fact I don’t hold anything against people who have been divorce or married a ton I times. That is to say I don’t have an issue against certain people in this category. Some just need a good smack or an eye roll.

We have all been young and madly in love. We’ve all jumped into love and honestly sometimes I’m even a little jealous of people who go ‘Boom Bam’ in love…although that idea does terrify me and I’ve also become very cautious in my old age.

But back to my friend and the point I’m trying to make here.

The night before when I actually for the first time got to meet this new man of hers…. (Who is completely wonderful by the way). BUT I couldn’t help feeling like something was off about it. And as I spoke with another friend about it I ended up with this conclusion that I could be wrong about…what do I know.

I’ve decided some people especially those who have been married before do so again to almost prove a point.

In fact, I wouldn’t say this is just specific to marriage but a lot of people moving on from a major relationship.

Some of us put up walls higher then they were before ( * raises hand *) and then some of us jump head first into something they see as good enough to prove they can make a relationship work.

They can love and be loved and this time it will work.

In almost a “just you all watch” fashion.

And it is not always to prove it to the outside world like friend and family and onlookers but to almost in a sense prove it to themselves. Tell themselves they can be “normal” they can win the game of having and keeping a successful relationship.

They can win the game of white picket fences and all that stuff.

I mean to an extent don’t we all play that game. I won’t fall for any more assholes, I won’t date a liar again, I won’t this, I wont that…. and so on. All a game, and when you do start to date someone regardless of how much they lie or what have you we put on the illusion that they are better than the past, because we want to ‘win’.

And although I sit and shake my head I can’t help but almost cheer them on, because if all they want is a successful relationship then I cant be anything but supportive of that.

But if you want to play the game like that I better see you walking around with a blue ribbon pinned to your shirt, otherwise what was the point?!?