walking…
I’ve written a couple times about things I might want in a partner. It’s never been really serious (well except sometimes) but then I read all these blogs where they (girls) make lists about wanting a guy who is tall, and cooks dinner, and all those silly “I made a list of things I want” lists. You know those list of “ideals” or god forbid I use the term “deal breakers”
I’m a strong believer that when you predetermine ideals in a person you end up not only being disappointed but missing out on the truly wonderful things they might have to offer.
Sidebar: standards (aka deal-breakers) are different than ideals. A guy who doesn’t slap you around is a standard not an ideal….
I wrote a few posts about how I jokingly would fall head over heels with the first boy to ever really tell me I was beautiful. That wasn’t really an ideal but it was ‘list worthy’. And although, I did fall for that boy, it was never a true ideal.
However, I’ve come to the conclusion I actually do have one ideal. One simple ideal I want in someone. That one thing that will make me stop and think twice about the boy in question. Make me stop and go “hmm, there is something to this boy!” make me go “yup, you might just be a keeper”
And it seems oh so simple…
I want a boy who walks with me.
Walks beside me.
Walks with me.
Not ahead of me!
If I had a dollar for every time I said, “wait for me” as I’m walking down the sidewalk with (insert any boys name here) my accountant and I would be besties. And the fact that I’ve never been hit by a car while aimless following a boy into traffic as he’s 20 or so steps ahead of me blows my mind (considering I have indeed been hit by a car for other reasons) please note: I’m not a slow walker either.
When you get into a serious relationship with someone you sorta start to ignore this fact as well you’re both going some place, and usually know the direction you’re headed…literally. Unless you are upset about something then you really notcie when someone is walking ahead of you…and it feels so lonely.
But I don’t think I’ve ever been on a date where a guy has walked with me or beside me. And not cause there was sidewalk traffic or what have you. Simply, because he just wasn’t walking with me.
Now I don’t mean hold my hand or arm around me walking. That is different and that isn’t what I’m taking about. I’m talking somewhat silent just going for a walk kind of walking. The now lets go to the place on the corner kind of walking.
For that kind of walking I want someone to walk beside me.
About a month ago I meet a guy with friends and after he and I were headed for ‘one last drink’ afterwards and as we were about 3 blocks from our destination I sort of said ‘wait a minute’ as I quickly pulled flats from my bag and switched from my heels (note: not because my feet hurt or I cant walk in heels, it was because it was starting to rain and my heels were suede) And although we continued our ‘getting to know you’ conversation with him a good 3-4 feet ahead of me as I was changing shoes. When I finished, I even put a little skip in my (newly in flats) step and I still never caught up with him as we continued to walk and talk… And for a split second I thought to my self “Stop. Say good night. Turn around. Go home.” But of course I didn’t because I knew he wasn’t trying to make a good impression on me, he was only going for making an impression.
And then a few weeks back I went on a very nice date that was going very well and as we went to make a location change and we walked about 6 blocks I noticed as he was a good foot or two ahead of me and he had to turn back to say ‘it’s right there on the corner’ and in a flash he crossed the street because there was a break in traffic and I was left standing waiting for the light to change. And my very good date went got downgraded to a “mesh”.
And it might sounds silly, or strange, or like I’m being one of those “list-making girls” but I’ve decided. I’m declaring it from the mountaintops, “ I want a boy who walks beside me”
Because if you walk beside me it means you want to walk with me. And isn’t that what we all want? Just someone to walk through life with?
So, just a simple ideal.
A simple thing that maybe one day I’ll check of my list. (it’s the only thing on the list)
Agree completely. My thing is they have to walk on the street side. It may be old fashioned but it just speaks volumes about the type of gentleman they are.
Taylor — There is that too!
Well TC, There’s serval different versions of that, and sometimes it really depends on the weather or the landscape. It used to be that they gents walked on the ‘inside’ to protect from the refuse being thrown out from household’s, falling from upstairs apartments and being swept out from stores. It also is more likely that you might be ‘accosted’ from that side, rather than the ’street side’, (although there’s exceptions to this). So if you want it, you might want to ask.
Then there’s the unstated problem & issue here. The guys LP may be preferring may in fact be a good deal taller than she is. There’s a natural bio-mechanical correlate of this choice. The dudes have Longer Strides. So even if they’re actually seeking to approximate your speed or even your stride at first, they’ll seem to shoot ahead quickly just due to their greater stride length, which again is a function of their greater lower leg lengths. I know, no one thinks about such things. But I’m betting it’s more of a problem with the taller dudes. And it’s a conscious choice too. If you ask, the dude might set his legs to ’stroll’ and move more slowly, but I imagine you don’t want to ask.
But bottom line is that there’s a natural reason for such things. Cheers, ‘VJ’
VJ — thanks for the comment :) And to be fair, you are right, who doesn’t love a tall guy!