experiment of thought…
I was re reading a some blog posts for another project I’m working on when I stumbled over this one and it got me thinking, it got me over thinking and thinking even more but I degrees.
It got me thinking about the truth.
What is the truth when it comes to a relationship.
Is truth really what someone speaks or does it become what we know? Now that in a nutshell has been my ‘food for thought’ for the last few days.
If in the span of a relationship you hear over and over again how much you mean to someone; how someone would do anything for you; how much someone loves, cherishes and wants to spend the rest of their life with you; how someone has never ever been with anyone as amazing as you…..is it truth because it is spoken or does it become truth once you believe it?
Are people who lie really at fault or are we at fault when we process a lie and choose to believe it?
Cause as of lately I lean towards it being the recipient of such ‘truths’ fault. I’ve always been intrigued by lying as an art form I’ve spoken on this before, and it’s mainly because I’m such a terrible liar. (I guess I just wish I were better at it) I speak what I mean, I probably reveal too much and never reveal anything I’m a 100% sure on.
Should you waste time hating someone for lying to you, or should you just focus on the fact that hating yourself for believing it makes more sense…….
When I’m lied to I often am at fault for believing it. I’m gullible most times to things I should never believe. I’d like to think as I have aged I’ve gotten better at this, and living in NYC has helped too.
So when I’m told something I believe that the other individual truly means what they are saying, and therefore how can you not believe what you are told.
How can anyone not believe the lies that get listed over an over again in a long-term relationship. (that is if they are lies, who really knows)
Because if you believe someone loves you, or cares for you, or gets you, or wants you, or even respects you, is it not mostly your fault when you come to the realization that they never did anything of the things listed above?
Much like a tree falling in the woods, can a lie really be a lie if no one is there to believe it…….?
You are back!!!!!!!
And what a great post to jump back in with.
this really has me thinking about things now. why do you have to always go and do that?
i think sometimes truths and be real in a moment. but like you said once you start hearing them over and over that line bridges. i had an ex who after we broke up kept coming back to me and the next day would be like the previous day didnt happen. he’d claim to have not felt anything and didnt want to be with me, but again there was a lie he was trying to pass as truth. guys suck that is all i know right now.
I don’t think it’s necessarily a matter of fault. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with believing someone you are in a relationship with. It’s called trust, which is important in any relationship. If anyone is the a-hole here, it’s the person telling the lie. It sounds simple to say, but lying is wrong, and everybody knows that.
Now, if someone repeatedly lies to you and you know it, and then you choose to believe more of what they tell you, well, maybe you should re-examine your judgment a bit. But nevertheless, I still believe it is the liar who is in the wrong. Lying is wrong. Believing someone who you love is not wrong.
It sucks when we realize we’ve been lied to. But why do we blame ourselves (unless we’re in that being-lied-to-repeatedly situation)? Perhaps we just need to say, “I did nothing wrong here. The other person was a lying asshole, now I know it, and now I’m moving on.”
Sadly, in life, some people lie. And it’s not always easy to know who’s lying an who’s not. At the end of the day, I just ask myself if I believe *I* have acted with integrity. And if I have, I can sleep at night.
Your argument is the same as saying a girl got raped because she dressed “slutty”. To say it’s your fault for believing a lie, that’s as wrong. The fault lies with the person lying, as it does with the person raping.
You have to trust people, especially if they’re close. You can’t have a working relationship if you don’t – those have to be built on trust.
I get what you are saying but isn’t a lier always a lier