Eat, Plump, Love
I wrote a post I haven’t posted yet. The topic of this post was to debunk the age old claim that dating or being in a relationship makes you fat or makes you gain weight.
I have always lost weight while in relationships, not gained and after thinking on it and even asking others I’m still perplexed at where this idea comes from. Does being in a relationship really make you fat? And if so where is this happening? I’m looking at you Dr.Oz, tell me!
I haven’t posted the post, because well, I might disagree with my statements now, I may have to jump on the bandwagon and say that being in a relationship just MIGHT (might) make you gain weight.
It all depends on who you are dating…
In my unposted post I outline that yes you go out and dine more with a partner but I think you are more conscious of it. You share things like apps and deserts, and you wait to eat with no snacking as to not ruin your appetite, and after your big meal is done your ready for other after dinner activities. Your meals are more planned out. More timely. You and your partner plan to do lunch there for you don’t spend all afternoon eating a sleeve of puddings. You mix it up more, not ordering Chinese then eating the leftovers for 2days and then reordering Chinese. I don’t think a relationship is cool with splitting a muffin and a bag of left over movie popcorn for dinner, but when it’s 10pm and I’ve realized I haven’t eaten yet the muffin/popcorn combo works fine for me.
I’ve dated alot of guys who made comments about my weight, or my appearance. And yet at those times I was like half the size I am now. Maybe I’ve been more aware of it in the past cause the guys I was with made me so. Maybe them telling me I was fat or that I should watch my weight made me more conscious then the average. Made me in a sense not be the norm and actually lose weight while in a relationship.
Also I’ve dated a bunch of vegetarians, strike that I’ve dated way too many vegetarians! Now don’t get me wrong I love a big dinner salad, and get them all the time. And I don’t judge them for not eating chicken (for not eating bacon I do!)
Ok so maybe it’s not the vegetarian thing at all. Maybe it’s that I’ve dated alot of guys who overly care about their appearances and like their women to fit into a pretty little not over a size 8 box. In fact, I think that might be it. In fact, I’m sure of it.
Maybe all along not only have I been dating the wrong guys but my waistline has been too.
So here’s the thing: I love food! I eat. I try new things like I’m just experiencing them, cause alot of times I am. I grew up in a house where I don’t think salt even was/is present. Sugar kids cereal was the luxury, and there are no real restaurants around. When I went to undergrad University I slowly weaned myself back onto gluten and boy is gluten good! And tried things for the first time like chocolate milk! I started traveling and experienced the pleasure of that. Cause the true test of being an adult is making the choice to only eat gelato for two days when in Rome.
And then I moved to NYC and the foodie in me was unleashed like a razor to Britney’s head. Add on top of that that American portions are bigger then my face, and I’ve falling in love with spice, butter, and meat. And although NY street meat has got nothing on Toronto’s it’s a hell of a city to fall in love with food in. Thus I started to gain alittle, or maybe a lot….
Maybe I just need to fall for the right guy too! Maybe my stomach has been on a hunt. A hunt not only for the perfect hotdog but well for the perfect “hotdog”. A hunt for a guy who introduces me to things called ”Combos” or “Popeye’s Chicken” and even “Pop Tarts”. A guy who makes me nachos for dinner and indulges in the idea that we each get a desert and share them.
A guy who likes me for me and even though I might be at the biggest I’ve ever been in my life by like 20 pounds, holds my hand while we walk for street side tacos at 2am, and tells me I’m beautiful as I have taco grease running down my chin….maybe falling in love with the boy who loves ‘All’ of me is something I can really sink my teeth into.
SIDEBAR: I hate hate hated the book Eat, Pray, Love. Gag me with a spoon!
great post! finding someone you can be yourself with no matter what is the most important thing.
go for the HOTDOG!
great points you have here. keep them up.
This is a lot of food for thought you have here Plummy.
Five months into my current relationship I found myself looking in the mirror and thinking “Ok, which one is it? Lost or gained?”
My brain and my eyes don’t agree, nor do comments from people I see on a daily basis.
What’s my point?
Goddammit I am happy. I should focus on that more than I do the size of my ass.
Thanks for this honest post, it’s in my Plum Top 10.
Funny, I just tweeted about this too. The guy I’m dating keeps trying to feed me (literally, puts food into my mouth that I don’t want), but I when my ass is big will he complain?
I can see how being in a relationship can make you gain weight. Sometimes you skip the gym because you want to be with him/her. And in my case, I *am* the vegetarian. I usually eat pretty healthily, but when I’m with someone else I sometimes relax my rules a bit. I won’t eat meat, but I’ll eat more cheese/dairy/egg than I normally would (I notice I tend to gain weight when I eat this stuff).
It’s annoying coz the guy wants you to eat with him and skip the gym to be with him, then when your ass grows he’s all, “Uh, what’s up with that, girl?”
You just can’t win.
I gain relationship weight if I am dating one of those crazy active guys who can eat a horse because they run marathons and I forget that I don’t burn 1500 calories before 9am…and I gain break up weight when I drown my sorrows in booze all the time…so basically I just gain weight. Fuck! :)
I think the weight gain thing comes from comfort – some women start eating take-aways and stop taking care of their figures because they don’t feel the need to impress any more.
My friend did it. She gains so much weight whilst in a relationship. Since getting with her current fella, who she’s marrying, she’s gained about 30lbs!
I’m like you though, I lose weight when I’m dating and gain it when I am single because I get so bored on Saturday nights! Hello chocolate and wine! ;o)
I think you’re right…it has a lot to do with WHO you’re dating
I gain weight. In relationships. Period. (yes I just put period and then an actual period.) But I think it’s a case of I’d be skinnier than I’d normally be while dating and fatter than I’d normally be in a relationship. When dating…I eat less. (I know. I’ve got issues.) But last night for example. At the *spoiler alert* drive in with Trucker Joe…he gets a HUGE bag of popcorn DRIPPING in ladled (that’s right ladled not squirted) butter…I SLOWLY and demurely eat 5-6 hand grabs (not fulls lol)…if that was Mega Love and me at the theatre…when he was my man…Oh he’s getting the whole bag of popcorn with butter…but I’M eating it…THE WHOLE BAG…but then again…I knew Mega Love thought I was sexy…wanted me…like all the time…Trucker Joe? I’m insecure…I don’t know…white boys make me nervous :P
This is one of the may reasons why I don;t believe in relationships. People gain weight when they get comfortable and stop trying to impress.
I prefer my men CONSTANTLY trying to impress (and being worthy of that effort).
Keeps me from inhaling the wedges of brie I might otherwise be tempted toward…
- B x
Love this post! I always weigh less when I’m dating someone… I think its because I don’t pig out in front of him because I don’t want to gross him out, but I’m a huge pig at all other times!
LOVE this! I feel the same way. I have also dated too many men who have their own body image issues. I want to date a man that can gain ten pounds and not complain about it like he’s one of my girl friends. As long as he’s healthy, I like em a little beefy. :)
I will forgive you for hating on Elizabeth Gilbert, but only because you’re too busy being ‘in love” right now. Great post and the next time you have pancakes fried in crisco– call us over!
*DEAD* AND OMG why the heck are you in my head Pummy-wummy? I JUST asked my bf that yesterday!!!! This is crazed. He’s a TOTAL gym rat! And I am getting MORE into shape cuz of him! I gotta keep up! Can’t have people do that double take ewww why is that buff hot guy with that blob scowl! No sir, not happening!
great post you rock even more cause I know you love meat!