It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to…
Every year around this time I get asked the same thing. What are you doing for your birthday? I always answer with an “I don’t know,” and an “ I don’t really like birthdays”
People always inform me that they too don’t like birthdays and that infact no one likes getting older. In fact everyone always assumes it’s a “getting older” thing I dislike about birthdays. That that’s why I’m not out wanting to party it up with huge big exciting plans, as I guess people expect me to do.
And then when people push as to why I hate birthdays I get flustered and close up. Cause fact of the matter is I don’t dislike getting older. Although being one year closer to 30 (the last year before 30 I might add) is a little nerve racking, and I do feel like I’m getting old. It however, is not the issue.
I just don’t have good luck or good experiences when it comes to my birthday. And I guess I just project that out there, that I assume since I’ve had so many terrible birthdays that this will just continue to happen.
Now I’m talking birthdays in resent (in my 20s) memory. My birthdays when I was younger were pretty awesome. I had rocking birthday parties as a child that still has people talking. However as I approached and grew into my 20s the just seemed to go down hill.
I lost my virginity on my birthday and it wasn’t anything exciting.
I was in a bad car accident on my birthday.
I’ve had 3 very important people in my life die on my birthday, and 2 right near my birthday.
A Psychic told me on I wouldn’t live much past 25 the day before I turned 25.
I’ve walked in on my boyfriend at the time with another girl the day of my birthday.
I had everyone and I mean EVERYONE forget my 21st birthday. (my parents, my boyfriend at the time, and my friends)
and so on….
Last year for the first time in a long time since moving to this city I surface from my room. In a “hey I’ll be out at this bar if you happen to want to show” fashion I let friends know I’d be out. I ended up getting drunker then I can ever recall and maybe dying my friends sink pick from all the cupcake frosting I puked up in his sink. It was bad news. Cause although I had a nice time with some friends, I spent the entire time alittle uncomfortable. To many people and unknown intensions. Did people really want to celebrate my birthday or just celebrate?
The thing is I think we all have ideals of perfect outings, gatherings, dates, and or experiences. We want to feel loved, appreciated, and special on a certain occasion: this being my birthday. You hear people say all the time that events are better when you’re in a relationship, that unless you have one special person to celebrate with then it’s just not as good.
I think I can admit that yes for once I’d love to have a day, this being my birthday where I am in a relationship with someone who truly cares about me and wants to make me feel special. Wouldn’t that be nice?
I’ve never really had a boyfriend or guy I was involved with recognize or to be honest remember my birthday (unless you go back to the virginity story). I’ve never had a guy say this day is about you and let’s actually make it about you.
I was thinking about this last night. Thinking about how maybe one day someone will embrace me on the day my parents first embraced me, and maybe I’ll start to like getting older.
Here’s to Friday being just another year like all the rest…..
Here is to you having one special birthday because you deserve all the happiness in the world, great post Plum!
one day a guy will treat you as you should be treated and realize you’re probably the best thing he’ll ever have in his life, and he’ll make you feel special.
I think ShaneW has it right except I hope you find a guy who treats you like gold not only on your birthday but on every day of the year. Good post lady!
It sucks when you associate things like your birthday with events that hurt. My mother died on Thanksgiving and the holiday has never been the same. It’s hard to get over stuff like that and I don’t think you ever can. But you’re right if the right person it is made so much easier.
Peterfrank — why thank you!
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ShaneW — I hope everyone gets that! :)
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Jenny — Thanks, and my comment is an “ibid” to what I told ShaneW too ;)
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jackmcmaster — It is hrd, and I know lots of us go through it for differnet events. But I guess in a sense when it has to do with losing someone special its great that there is a day that reminds me to remember the people that have past. Sorry to hear about your mother and I hope you have those people who make the holiday easier as well.
Happy Birthday (even if you don’t want to hear it)! Dude, you have had some harsh birthdays, so I don’t blame you for not loving this holiday of your birth. As for getting older, I can tell you that turning 29 was hard for me. All of a sudden I was in the last year of my twenties and it hit me like a ton of bricks. But now that 29 is almost over, I’m ready for 30. So ready. So excited for the next chapter. Hopefully it will happen that way for you too.
I hope you have an amazing day on Friday, and I hope that the day is all about you, Plum!! <3
Your experience with birthdays is like mine with Valentine’s Day…
http://carriebradshawisfullofit.blogspot.com/2010/02/and-you-thought-your-valentines-day-was.html
I have to admit that my best birthdays that I have ever had were the ones where I was single because I had NO expectations that were not met. I had no one to disappoint me. BUT that being said- I am always OTT with my birthdays…theme parties every single year and the slogan is always, “If you can remember the whole night, you probably weren’t here.” :) So just take the day to remind yourself of why your life is so awesome- you have come a long way since the horrific bdays of the past! Celebrate THAT. :)
Sister, I hear ya. Take your 21st forgotten birthday and mulitply that by 30. I am always forgotten on my birthday. People never understood why I didn’t make a big deal about my birthday, but when your own mother calls you a week later saying, “I bought a card, but it’s on the coffee table,” why would you think others would get excited about what’s supposed to be “your” day? Just in the past couple years I did some planning, but it still feels a little unnatural to me.
Best wishes for your b’day this year.
Of the many things I could comment about, I’m choosing to go with the fact that you puked in the dude’s sink. Recently, I pulled a similar move, and in the morning, he asked me why I chose the sink and not the toilet, and I had no words. I mean, what did you say?
Happy Birthday my darling Plum ! I wish you lots and lot of happiness and an amazing year ahead of you.
I’ve had b’days where I’ve been single, and where I’ve been in relationships and I can’t really say which I prefer more. On my one b’days, my then boyfriend chose to be a total pr*ck ‘cos my ex (from 6 yrs earlier) was there and ended up fighting with me. Other boyfs have been much nicer. My last few single birthdays have been pretty fab too.
But then again – I’m a bit OTT about birthdays like Mademoiselle Hautmess .. so every year its the one big bash I have because it’s all about me. And I reckon it should be the same for you … on your 30th – go all out – have a big party or go on a holiday with your mates – you’d be amazed at how great you feel :)