Sunglasses in Dark Bar Boy: Hi beautiful.
Me: hello. (walking towards friends)
Sunglasses in Dark Bar Boy: I’m here to inform you that you won.
Me: Pardon?
Sunglasses in Dark Bar Boy: You won. Congratulations!
Me: Won what?
Sunglasses in Dark Bar Boy: The most beautiful chick in the bar contest.
Me: (laughs) Oh really, what do I win for that.
Sunglasses in Dark Bar Boy: The prize is you get to go home with me tonight.
If you are going to drunkenly throw yourself at someone who you know is in a committed good relationship, you should make sure you haven’t meet their significant other before. Because if you have meet them before no amount of alcohol excuses the fact that you truly are a big whore with lack of respect for everyone involved in the situation.
Just alittle friday fyi…..not that I’m judging behavior or anything…..
So I need to talk about something that has been driving me crazy for months. Something I’ve been seeing time and time again when I watch mindless TV and it just makes me want to cock punch someone while screaming “Allez Cuisine!”
I’ve talked about commercials before. I’m bothered by a commercial that deal with “female issues”, I just am. I’ve talked before on how I don’t like the women in most of them, and then I talked about how some point out how stupid the female population is. But this one takes the cake on pointing out how stupid/dumb/ridiculous the female population can be.
Bayer has come out with a new ad champagne that encourages women to learn more about their birth control. This comes off the back of them being sued millions of dollars for apparently not adequately informing women about the health risks.
Ok first off, if you take any medications you should know what it is, how it works, how it affects your body and interacts with other drugs you take. Your health should always be number one. You need to understand how stuff works. That’s “Living 101.”
Anyways, so although I agree that it’s good of Bayer to let you know that you should take control of your health I have an issue with their commercials. A huge issue.
If you haven’t seen the commercial in question let me break it down for you. There are these women who are blind folded feeling a rhinoceros. They touch the rhino all over and are trying to figure out what they are touching.
These women give the absolute dumbest answers that one could ever say while feeling up a living breathing moving rhino! Answers given include: a wall, a rope, a pipe, and my all time favorite is the stupid chick who get’s ear slapped in the hand by a rhino and guesses… A BRUSH!
WTF?! Where are all these stupid women coming from! At least I’m glad someone is trying to make sure they all know how to use birth control correctly, cause God forbid these dumb ass chicks get pregnant and start procreating…..that is if they can read the pregnancy test.
Oh here’s the link to the commercial so you can watch for yourself.
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Oh and if you like, dislike, agree, disagree, or want to cock punch me over this opinion (or me in general) you should check LostPlum (that’s me) out tonight from 10-11pm EST. on Shivio.com because I’m going to be a guest on Abiola on LSD: Love, Sex, Dating. The show is hosted by the ever amazing, always funny, constantly sexy Abiola Abrams! It’s going to be hot hot hot. You can watch, listen, chat, and even beam in….with me!
I had the pleasure of attending CareFusion Jazz Festival NY at Carnegie Hall last week. The music, the venue, the company made for an amazing night. As the 1st set ended and people got up to stretch their legs during the intermission, we noticed one particular man in a baseball cap, looking around as if he was lost in the enclosed vastness that is Carnegie Hall. He then walked towards the lobby area, but upon his return (without that hat) it was clear that this man was none other the headship of the Griswold clan, Mr. Chevy Chase.
Now this isn’t a post or even a blog where I talk about celebrities I’ve seen, meet, or am friends with….So then why does this post have an attraction to Chevy?
As ‘BabyBoy’ and I observed him during intermission from our first level booth I joked that although Keith Jarrett (the musician that night) made it very clear no photos or recording of any kind could be had. It seemed as if Chevy looked up to the heavens (or upper balconies) arms down with palms opened up as if he was speaking to all those around him, asking for us to notice him. I joked that we were going to hear an announcement informing us he was there and welcomed photographs.
I guess one could argue Mr. Chase went from 80s-90’s hay day to nonexistence, back to hit TV show.
SIDEBAR: I’ve only seen his new show ‘Community‘ twice. Frankly the guy from The Soup scares me. And I have enough nightmares as is.
So much like Chevy’s and in the same vain Ed O’Neill aren’t we all looking for our “come back” our new hit as it were of the 21st century. Everyone loves a great comeback story don’t they?!
So in love we fall down sometimes. We get mud in our faces and we hurt. We sometimes feel unrecognizable to others and especially other potential mates. We go from love and happiness to shame, hurt, regret, and damages. Why would you be deserving of something big if you just messed up one before.
But then again you never know where you might find it. Where that next chance for a come back, that next chance at “love” is hiding.
Like my jokes about Chevy that night, in love we are always looking to be noticed. To be embraced as it were by people, in a sense just to be recognized.
We can either sit and wait for it to happen(which it eventually does), or you can look up, look around and take notice of it all, and make people notice you.
Like Carnegie Hall we all have beautiful details in our world, filled with different people, and if you’re lucky great music! However this world is pretty enclosed when you think about. Your reach isn’t as great as you might want it to be, so we need to take advantage of what we have and see around us. We to observe.
Take a moment, stand up, and look around. The possibilities are endless and yet where all confined. Open yourself up to be noticed, to being recognized, and inturn being loved.
There might be a ceiling keeping us in, but when you open your eyes and let people see you, you just might be flying…..and the music is pretty good up here, and I think Chevy would agree!
Dive Bar Dude: First time here?
Me: Yeah.
Dive Bar Dude: It’s a pretty shitty bar.
Me: (laughs) Well you’re here too so what does that say?
Dive Bar Dude: I live right up stairs so we can go from pants on to penis in, in like 5 minutes!
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