The Lost Plum…

At the end of any relationship things go unsaid. I think we can all agree on this fact. We don’t say everything we want to say, we say thing we don’t mean, and for some of us it’s the only time we stick with the “silence is golden” rule.

Almost 6 or 7 or even 8 years since I had even spoken or seen “first guy” he tracked me down at a job (aka he googled the hell out of me) called my work mid day and asked me to forgive him for how badly he had treated me.  I told him simple he didn’t have to ask me to forgive him because I already had.

Fact of the matter is I didn’t forgive him (well maybe I did) I just didn’t care anymore. I could careless. I spend most of our hour conversation in which he wanted to “catch up” wondering what type of 12 step program he was in, in which he needed my forgiveness.

FACT: I may have asked if he was in rehab.

SIDEBAR: This call from him also came a few months before he married wife number 2, so maybe that is how they were connected.

So my question of thought rolls around this…..is it better to say things regardless of your timing then to never say them at all?

Does letting out thought and feelings in regards to relationships better then bottling them up and waiting for hem to go away. And in that case do they ever really all go away.

A few months back I drunkenly told a guy I had cared deeply about that he broke my heart when he said he couldn’t be involved with me (after we had been involved) Did I mean it, yeah, but did I really mean it, I don’t think so.  (does that make sense?!)

It felt good to get it out there. To say “you hurt me, I’m over it, now lets be friends!” And great friends we are!

Last summer I had a good guy friend get married. This guy friend and I had started something once, but timing and location made it impossible. One of the “what if” relationships. We all have them, in fact, life is full of those “what if” moment.  (In fact that is a whole blog on it’s own)

This friend called me two days before he got married to tell me that exact thing.  “What if” and how he “wished we had been able to give it a shoot” with me.

So why is it when it comes to relationships, when it comes to matters of the heart do we close up when something is right in front of us, but later on we let out how hurt we are, what we regret, and ask for forgiveness?

Heavy Gold Chain Dude:  Out of all the girls here I like you best.

Plum: Really? Out of all of them?

Heavy Gold Chain Guy: Yeah. If you were a booger I’d pick you first.

I’m going way back to Dating Boot Camp today.  Remember that?

Anyways, Man Panel was asked a question that I keep thinking about. They were asked. What colour nail polish they prefer women to wear. Red, Black or no nail polish: All but one said NO nail polish.

Really? First off let’s point out this is New York City, the city where there just might be more places to get a manni peddi then get a Starbucks. So saying you prefer a woman with no nail polish is like finding a woman without hair.

Here is my thought.  Guys (and these man panel guys) LIKE girls in nail polish. Any colour nail polish.

They just don’t like THEIR girl in nail polish.

Boys love girls in sexy nail colours, just like they like girls in short skirts, with makeup and their hair did.  But take “their girl” and do her up and regardless of the relationship, they get a tad bit jealous. Just as women get jealous when their man is all dressed sexy and having women fawning all over them.

Nail polish is to show you off, and to make you appear sexual, hence why your man may not want you to wear it.

But saying you prefer all women to not wear nail polish is just a stupid excuse for not saying you don’t want “your lady to appear sexual to others”

So that is that.

Guy: Hi.

Me: Hi.

Guy:  You got a name?

Me: I’m L.P.

Guy: L.P. that’s a pretty name. I’m “Guy”.

Me: Nice to meet you “Guy”.

Guy: Well I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I sure could make your bed rock.

I wrote before about how I joke about falling head of heels for the first guy to call me beautiful.

I know it may seem odd to some but I truly have never had a guy I was interested in who I assumed was interested in me tell me I was/am beautiful.

Like I said in that old post. I get cute alot, and sexy, and pretty, and sweet, and sure the creepy men on the train have called me beautiful, but an actual boy say those actual words. Never has happened.

Well that is until the other night.

I heard someone say, “you’re really beautiful”.

And I believed it.

And my heart fluttered like my heart has never fluttered before.

But yet, it’s still me so I am hesitant to believe anything from a guys mouth.

But for right now a guy makes me feel beautiful. It’s a new and exciting feeling.

And without sounding corny, it’s a beautiful feeling.