home is where….
It takes alot for me to invite a guy over. I feel like I am always the odd female-duck out in this case.
Girlfriends I have and ones I just meet are always blown away by the fact that I will go home with a guy far before I take him home. Sometimes months before he even knows where I really live.
Girls always tell me they like the ability of telling someone to leave when they want them too. That it’s on their time, their territory, and their terms.
But what if they don’t leave? I however, like the ability of leaving when I see fit. Whether that is 3pm the next day or 3-minutes after walking in the door.
It’s only truly on your terms if you’re the guest. Unless he’s a serial axe murder then it’s on his terms. But as my friend ‘Tex’ would say, “I can’t get my deposit back with blood stains all over”.
When I was making my move to my new apartment a few months back I realized something.
I had never had sex in my room where I had lived for 2 years. Two years! 2 years without having sex meant my poor bed might be comfy but she sure was lonely.
In fact my bed hasn’t seen that much action at all in its 5-year life. Poor bed.
I guess I don’t really have a point here, except that I like things on my terms I like the ability to leave situations I no longer want to be a part of. And I guess it’s just another way to show how I can be really closed off sometimes.
I speak my mind, I act out, I talk way more then I should in details far more then necessary, but when it comes to my home, my private literal space I don’t just let anyone come through the door.
I like having emotional connections, memories and heartbreaks outside of my familiar: Outside of my comfort zone. My home (where ever that maybe) is that for me. It’s my space, my life, mine.
Anyways, maybe I need to get this bed some more action before I get a new one. Because in my old apartment if those walls could talk they’d skip right over me and go to the next tenant. But this new place is all mine, so maybe I need to give it some character. But then again that would mean trusting a boy enough to have him in my home…hmmm….we’ll have to see.
I’m in the same boat…but I’m a guy so I thought that’s how it’s “supposed” to be. What does it take for you to bring a guy back to your place?
Totally agree with you!!!My house is a sanctuary and only close and positive vibe people should be allowed in…it’s too personal. When to bring a guy home? No clue, just waiting to feel like doing it :)
Uh oh. I can’t wait for chapter 2 of this segment. someone comes home…
LA idiot — I don’t know. I think it’s just when it feel right, or ok, or more likely when I let my guard down. It’s a very personal thing, and like I said I find more women are willing to this then I ever would think, but to each her/his own.
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rachelasriberiro — thanks for your comment! You’re right when it’s the right time you feel it and it’s right…but then again sometimes you get burned.
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Smifelton–and…..nothing exciting happens! ;)
Getting burned it’s part of being alive! As far as you do it because you feel it’s right at the moment, you should never regret your decision. Your mistakes are part of who you are. Lesson learned! Be proud of it, evolve and move on!
It is so great that you seem to be back to posting everyday. It is just what the world needs. Or at least what I need in the middle of my day at work. great post plum.
I do the same thing! I’d rather be able to run then have no where to hide! And yes, my bed is all mine until I call you my boyfriend.
I’m TOTALLY WITH YOU on this!!! That being said, I live in a residential area…aka a house…so if the guy turns out to be psycho it’s not like I have that front-door-buzzer-of-an-apartment-illusionary-security-blanket-protection which would allow me to “ease up” a bit on the fortress of solitude rules. lol! I say that like it would make a difference…Christ I think half the reason I have a cell phone is simply because I don’t want to give out my home number…and when I say half…I think I’m really saying the ONLY reason lol! Add to that…when dating a fellow (I’ll yell it loud and clear I’m not ashamed) his home is definitely on my judgement list!
I’m curious though…do your friends ACTUALLY ask guys to leave at any point? or is it more of just a “feeling” that they “could” if they wanted to…as blunt and up front as I may appear I’m not sure I could actually utter the words “so tick tock time to roll brotha’” to someone…sober…lol
My apt is my sanctuary as well, thus I prefer my encounters to reside there, thus I can be comfortable and not have to go anywhere out in the people world, thus also granting me the ease in which to “axe murder” or utilize any other number of murder means, in the privacy of my own home.
I agree with you for all the reasons you state. It also prevents any kind of stalking. If he doesn’t know where you live, he can’t come over and torture you. ;)
rachelasribeiro — I’m moving and learning ;)
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patrick — I try, I really do!
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lesley — you are right on the money!
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SomethingSheDated — have I mentioned how much I love your comments! cause I do! That is another reason I like going to guys places I judge. I judge how clean it is, the set up, the sheets, the number of pillows, everything! Yeah I get told all te time from women that they love being able to tell them to leave! blows my mind.
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thrillhouse1134– thus, to that!
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singlegirlie — Oh don’t get me started on the starters!!