it’s just me…
I got an email late last night from one of my readers, or maybe a passer by, who knows. And I thought I needed to address this email in the open, to everyone. Not for any specific reason, just cause I feel like it. My answer is something I tell people often when I discuss this blog and my dating/sex/relationship status and practices. However, I realized that I don’t know most of you so I should let you know as well.
FACT: Just because you email me doesn’t mean I will respond to it out in the open. Although, it maybe time for one of these posts again.
Her email included the following:
“You don’t date and write about it like other sex and dating blog people. Are you dating someone and just not talking about it? Are you just not interested in dating? What is up with you in terms of your dating life? You just write so different then the other women dating bloggers I read in the city…”
Well….. first and foremost I want to say:
Thank you!
I read most of the other “dating” blogs here in the city, and even outside of the city. I even socialize with a few other writers. I like most everyone out there but I am happy that you find me different, so thank you. I never went in to blogging (this blog or any other) wanting to emulate anyone, or be like someone else.
SIDEBAR: I’ll be honest there are a very small handful of bloggers I don’t like. I don’t like what they write, how they write, how they interact with others, what their blog design looks like, and some I don’t like as people (and like almost everyone!). And frankly I’m sure lots don’t like me (And I could care less)!
I am glad you find me different even if it’s hinted as not a good thing.
I never really categories myself as a “dating/relationship/sex” blogger, although I guess that is where I fit.
I like to tell people “I write about me. I just happen to meets lots of boys….so I guess I write about boys”
I am far from an expert at dating or relationships. And would never claim to be. I have no advanced degrees in psychology or anything in the like. (although, I do have a very large education resume) Many may claim age and experience give them their “cred” but I simple disagree. So I don’t give advice and should probably add a “don’t try this at home” section to my legal statement at the bottom of this page.
Here is the main thing and my main point: I don’t date to write.
Frankly some people out there do. I find it ridiculous. What’s the fun in that?! It takes something fun and interesting: dating and love and sex and all that jazz, and makes it work. Not my goal, not my way, not my vibe.
I’m not going to bore you about every little detail of every date I go on, right down to where we went and what we ate. Who cares?!
I am not going to bore you with tales of endlessly spending night inside weeding through online profiles in hopes to make a connection just so I can write about it. And even if I did tell you of my fishing expeditions it would end up more like this post.
I’m not going to write about every cute and interesting boy I meet. Hell I’d be writing forever!
I mean maybe me never talking about my at the moment/in the moment dating and sex life makes me look desperate or pathetic in some way. Or just seem like a big loser, but I tend to think of it the other way.
I tell you stories I want to, I like to laugh at my self, and hopefully I make you all laugh too. And maybe sometimes I’ll throw alittle serious heartache story in the mix.
I am just me. Lost. And if you choose to not Find me that’s cool.
Also, I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again. I do not write about boys I am currently involved with or boys who feelings I care about, even if we are not dating. Some stuff is not for discussions, and not anyone else business….not because I’m ashamed of anything but because I care about others feelings. (and then sometimes I just ignore peoples feelings….my bad) Also, sometimes (although not very often) my life can be pretty plain and normal….so there is that!
But then again I could be looking at this whole love, sex, relationship, dating, and blogging thing all-wrong.
But then again….I never have an issue finding boys.
And sometimes, just sometimes I even find my heart a flutter.
you aren’t like anyone else. But you are the only one I can stand! You don’t bitch and whine like all the other women talking about dating. There is a reason they are single! You I can’t figure out yet. I think you scare guys cause you must be that awesome!
great post. You my dear stand out above the others so who cares!
key point here is the email you got was from a woman! She don’t know. She can have all the other dating/sex boggers. Us guys want and love you Plum!
the jack man said it. the boys love you and don’t want to hear ever stupid detail. you tell it like it is, and that give you the most cred of them all.
as another dating blogger in the city I am ashamed you are part of us. This post is all about how you are better then US, but you aren’t. We might talk about are dates but at least we don’t tell the world what sluts we are like you do. you blog about sex more then anything. The rest of us might blog about online dating adventures but at least we aren’t whores like you!
waitaminute… you’re a whore?!? WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?!?
why am i always the last to know these things? is it too late to get in line? do i need my hand stamped?
<3 you plum
jacks
Plum – Gotta tell you again how much I love your blog. Your openness, honesty and style reflect a great perspective that lots of us appreciate. Keep doing your thing girlfriend.
Otherblogger: Plum is NOT with you- she’s with me and the rest of us relationship bloggers who aren’t afraid to lay it all out there. To write vulnerably and dive deep below the superficial, boring surface of things. Be ashamed that you posted the comment that you did. Uncool.
There is no shame in being a whore. Just saying.
Rock on Plum. And keep on keepin’ on with your own fabulous brand of Plumism.
XOKB
In reading this post, and then the comments, I wanted to respond as “another dating blogger” as well. I’m disappointed to read that someone would be ashamed to have you among us!!! I’m also disappointed that they would put out such hateful messaging to one who should be looked upon as a peer. I think perhaps they missed the point. “Different” is not “better” To have something, as you DO, Plum, that establishes a refreshingly unique voice and sets you apart from the others – that’s special. It sets the bar high. And if that bar is to be a “whore like you”, so be it. If we’re lucky, we all get to be whores.
I’m going to step in and say I think otherblogger makes a good point although harsh. Plum has a way in this post of saying she thinks she is better than others. this is not true. her spelling is terrible and she does as stated talk about boys as material things. she is brash yes, but not in a good way. comments speak louder than words. Also emails from random readers do as well. Yet like stated by her other readers Plum does have the males wrapped around her finger. I guess if you care about that then bravo. I don’t and my ratings and readers speak nothing but praises for me. You don’t get anywhere by pointing out others sort comings. Example, hating someone for their blog design is just rude and immature!
//But then again….I never have an issue finding boys.//
Consider me found.