(you make me feel like)
I was on the train the other day coming from brunch and sitting across from me were two guys with shopping bags. They had obviously taken full advantage of the post holiday sales.
FACT: I have not done ANY post holiday shopping. I hate shopping with the masses.
One had a big pink bag in which he started to pull things out of and they started their conversation.
Now this wasn’t any pink bag, this was a Victoria Secret bag. I’m not thinking anything of it. Maybe the teddy he’s holding up is for his lady, or mom, or man, or even himself, no judgment. Then he pulls out a bottle of lotion. And they smell it, then another, and another. I’m intrigued. I shut off my iPod and listen to them talking.
“I’m just not attracted to her body, but other then that she’s perfect”
“Well I’d give her the brown one, it smells sexy.”
” Yeah in the dark it’ll smell sexy”
HOLD THE PHONE!
Let me break it down for you because after that little exchange I was to busy trying to keep my jar off my lap that I don’t remember the exact dialogue.
This guy, ‘Victory Secret bag guy’ had purchased a whole bag of stuff in hopes that his girlfriend would become more “sexy” more “physically attractive”.
Ok, I can admit that some times you fall for people that physically you never thought you would. At least I like to still hope guys do (otherwise how else am I going to land one)
And sometimes people try to change their partner’s looks. This mostly happens to guys. Their ladies make them get haircuts, buy them clothes, and what have you. (oh you poor boys)
But body lotion? If she’s physically not attractive that’s one thing, but smelly? That is a deal breaker I’m sorry. I’m not talking I haven’t showered went to the gym smelly, I’ll give everyone that. But needing to smell better in the “bedroom” that’s just Bunk!
Poor guy with the smelly girlfriend I feel bad for your friend who had to help you smell lotions on the train. He was cute but I’d never date a guy who’s friend will lather his lady in lotion just so he can have sex with her scent cause he’s not attracted to the body.
Will you please put me in your pocket for a subway trip someday? Please?
Bubbles — Better idea! Let’s get one of those baby backpacks! How cute would we look!?
Maybe she doesn’t smell but was hoping the smell might get him going? So maybe she smells fine life ivory soap or something, but he wants something that will turn him on? I kinda get it. And in a way it is sweet I think. He really like the girl, is trying not to be a shallow cock, so this is something that he and probably another dude or two came up with.
I mean, ok, it’s not “Diamonds Last Forever” but it’s not that bad either. This is such a guy thing – something that at some point in my past single life I could even imagine myself doing.
Well, ok, there was this one girl I dated and followed around everywhere that was irresistibly sexy — like a one second turn-on for me. I do admit that I bought my next girlfriend the same perfume that the other girl used to wear because the olfactory response triggered almost immediate stimulation.
Then again I associate the smell of cumin with amazing sex and to this day it elicits a response from me.
I cook often with cumin.
frog has a point. He’s trying to find a smell that turns him on because she doesn’t. And although he is a cock he’s trying to be a grownup at the same time.
I once stopped dating someone because she had BO…
“It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it is told…It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again…Now it places the lotion in the basket.” <–now thats sexy.
Can’t speak for all females, but most of us like to “freshen up” before it gets to the point where a guy is smelling our skin.
she must be one really great person who comes from money!
Wow. That has to be one of the more bizarre stories I have ever heard!