a pain in the…
This isn’t the post that was supposed to go out today. I have the next two weeks already set (preposted) which is exciting, yes? I mean I find it exciting, although more convenient so I can do work and move (I’m moving…down the street!)
So, about 1 ½ years ago I found myself in the hospital. I guess what happened is my heart rate dropped so low (it runs really low in general, but that’s another story) that I passed out and had a seizure. The seizure part I don’t know about, but all I know was I woke up on the ground with the ambulance guys already around me and my foot hurt. Then I sorta remember being at the hospital and my foot still hurt. My mom showed up two days later to find me hooked up to a million wires in the hospital still crying about how much my foot hurt.
SIDEBAR: I was talking to my roommate when I passed out. I was in the doorway to my room and was holding onto the handle…what we think happened is I pulled the door shut on my way down closing it on my foot.
Mama Plum convinced them to x-ray my foot, which was the size of a baseball, and I couldn’t stand up on, so I would one-legged hop to the bathroom along with all my machines (cause no way in hell is this Plum is using a bed pan!)
X-rays back: They tell me it’s nothing, I just hit it and the swelling will go down in a few days. I spent about 2 months not being able to wear anything but flat shoes (and if you know me that is a travesty) and limping every once and awhile.
Fast-forward about 4 months. I went to the doctors for a check up (a new doctor) and I happen to mention my foot still bothered me now and again. He asked if I wanted to get an x-ray, I said yes.
SIDEBAR: This is the one thing I love about the American health care system. If you’re willing to pay for it you can have it. You can literally walk in be fine and say “ I want a EKG and an MRI done” and as long as you pay they do it.
X-rays back and there plain as day are 3 count them 3 hairline fractures in my right foot, and one which has healed it’s self in a not so hot kind of way!
Now my foot is pretty much better, sorta, well not really. But I get around fine on it, but every once and awhile it hurts. This I notice the most when it is cold outside. Really cold weather, or damp weather affects our joints and bones, and I’m sure if you have any type of injury such as mine you know what I’m talking about (don’t get me started on my knee when it’s raining)
So last night I wake up in pain. I’m alone, cold, and feel like my foot is broken!
My point is broken bones are kind of like broken hearts. They heal sure, but every once and awhile they pop up out of nowhere and cause you alittle pain. And it’s usually those times when you’re all alone in the dark cold room.
Then there are broken hearts like my foot. Little tiny fractures that go un reported because you don’t want to admit that maybe you are really broken hearted. Those heartbreaks that you push off as “meh it just didn’t work out” but really those breaks are the ones that maybe stay with you the most, that cut you the deepest. The ones you are silent about, that eat at you while you lay in bed, cold and alone. (with your foot propped up on a pillow)
I knew you’ve been seeing someone and holding out on us!! I knew it.
i wish they could do EKGs and MIRs for hearts. at least then you’d know to be tender with yourself.
<3
jfb
I’m not sure i can wait 2 weeks to hear about this guy tell us now.
Ouch ! Hope your foot is feeling better.
Now that you talk about a busted foot – it just makes me cringe thinking that I do have to go back to the doc and physio to check on my damn foot (a taxi went over it and the hospital out here didn’t notice the hairline & only treated me for tissue damage)
And broken bones are like broken hearts .. every now and then the pain creeps up on you (for me when I least expect it) and leaves me wondering how and why .. that sucks :(
a) I’m glad you didn’t use a bed pan.
b) If a doctor can’t read three hairline fractures in an x-ray, you are quite lucky you didn’t need any other procedures.
c) Profoundly beautiful and thoughtful post. Of course, now it’s got me thinking about all my little “fractures”, so thanks for that :-p
And yeah – the guy? Do tell!
xxoo
LG
Really sweet and slightly sad post. Love the last paragraphs – very well put. And thanks for tweeting my blog.
your heart is broken? who did it? i’ll take em out if need be! (and sorry to hear about the foot, suxs)
I know exactly the heartbreaks you speak of. And then there are the clear, broken bones. Still trying to heal from that one. :(
i know what heart break you speak of. I have a girl I started only seeing for a few months. it was wonderful. but she wasn’t ready. and i still cant get her out of my head and heart. great post today.
Peterfrank — hmm…I say nothing ;)
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jackie — Oh wouldn’t that be nice <3
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Lesley — who said you had to wait 2 weeks?
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Dazediva — a taxi cab? oh my! poor you! And don’t get me started on my ability to miss physio!
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Lucky Girl — a) you and me both! b) that whole week in the hospital was one of the worst things I’ve ever done c) maybe i’ll tell ;)
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Jimmy– i tweet what i like ;) and thanks
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MATTY-MATT — we’ve never meet but I know you always have my back matty;)
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Dating Diva — yeah the broken ones hurt, but it’s those little ones that stick around longer…
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JohnnytheG — thanks, and i know how you feel.
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Love. Love. Love the analogy!
summer — thanks ;)