A real page turner…
So I had a date with this guy some mutual friends set me up with. We had meet on a few occasions as a group and he seemed perfectly nice. He didn’t make we swoon, but he seemed pleasant, and I’m always up for a ‘date’. Although, I hate to admit it my friend made it seem worth a shot. “Plum, he likes you, he totally is presentable attractive. He has a great job, owns his own place and just bought a second summer place upstate, why wouldn’t you.”
SIDEBAR: The friend in question has a thing for “presentable attractive” guys. This means you can take him out and ‘present’ him to people without being embarrassed in anyway. I do not share her logic but I get what she is saying/coming from.
So I agreed to let him cook me dinner. Not a ‘date’ I usually agree to early on, but why not.
The night was going well, nothing good but nothing bad either. I tried to find things that attracted me to him, things that intrigued me, but about 10minutes in I knew this was going nowhere. But then he said something that made my head tilt.
“I have a book you should really read!”
There you go, this guy obviously can appreciate that I love to read and sometimes read a little out of the box (this was about 10minutes after me saying I want to name a child Cormack because of my unhealthy love for Mr. McCarthy, and our discussion of classic literature) He went to the other room and brought me back a book. I was excited, and little giddy in my seat. He may just win big point with this; maybe I was overlooking something about him.
He lays a book down in front of me on the table.
I look at it. I look at him. I look at the book. Look at him. I’m speechless.
“My ex girlfriend made me read it before we started dating. It will teach you a lot about who I am and how I date women”
(Repeat the look at book-look at him motion)
“I think you will really like it!”
“Thanks, I’ll make sure to return it”
“No rush, I look forward to hearing how you liked it.”
I took the book with me to be polite. So, I left his apartment with a not so hot meal in my belly, with really bad wine on top of that, and a copy of “Why Men Date Bitches” for my reading pleasure.
FACT: more to come as I try to make my way flipping through this book without throwing up in my mouth.
So, when’s the second date, biatch.
no freaking way!!!! that is UNREAL! WHAHAHAHAHAHA – i can NOT imagine what i would’ve done. seriously. that is FUNNY. freako.
Oh my God! Did he even realise that it might be offensive? I wanna know what it says!
xxxx
Maybe the one instance you’d wish it was “The DaVinci Code.”
You should right a small review and attach it to the book when you, I assume, mail it to his house in order to return it. Write the review as if you were John Grady Cole.
I think you should underline or, better yet, use a highlighter for particularly egregious passages before returning it to him. Oh, and scribble strange notes in the margins. Things like, “Self-obsessed asshole,” “Mommy issues,” and “Douchebag potential?”
That was a bold, BOLD move on his part. I’m sure he didn’t read anything into it, but it was presumptuous in two ways: (1) Assuming that you were “dating” so you needed a “guide” to figure him out (2) To let you know off the bat that you needed a manual to be the kind of woman he likes to date.
I’ve read excerpts of the book and in essence, it champions the idea that to land the man of your dreams, you should keep him interested by playing the game hard. While I “get” the idea, why would you want to be with someone with whom your usual style of dating doesn’t work?
In any event, I’d say your instincts were spot on. Would love to hear your thoughts on the book and what your next encounter with him will be like…
I suppose it’s better than getting “Coping With The Herp” six months in. Let me ask you this, Plum, did you at least give the book a thumb-through?
Cormack’s a great name, bee-tee-dub. Just pray no one calls that bugger Cormy.
Hahaha, you’re still seeing this guy, right?
dave—Oh I’ll be letting him knowW
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dorothy– NO JOKE, my jaw was like on the table! (thanks for your first comment)
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amy — I don’t know what he thought!
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drunkenhopfrog — I would have been happy to see See Spot Run instead Yes I need to just mail it to him.
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david — maybe sticky note tabs, in different colours for each issue!?
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AnalyticalDiva — Bold = Stupid right? I just shake my head….
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Jimmy — how’d you guess? you;re good at this aren’t you?
TOM– HOW DID I MISS YOU IN MY REPLY!? I have been reading it, yes, slowly, but reading it! I kind of want a fish now so I can name him Cormy….it’s the perfect Fish name!!