Everything you own in a box to the left…
A long long time ago when I was younger, and stupid, and full of teenage feeling for ‘firstguy’ we used to spend hours making out with basically no clothes on. (Silly no penetration teenage love)
‘Firstguy’ and his family were moving. And about 5 days before the big move his mom laid down the law. “No seeing Plum till you finish packing up your room”
It seems very very reasonable, but at the time it was the worst thing in the world. The brilliant solution was that I would help him pack after school till just before his parents came home.
FACT: I did all the packing and he just complained.
One day we were more interested in each other then packing. One thing leads to another and I ended up in my panties and nothing else. He seemed to have all his clothes.
And all of a sudden we hear something. His mom is home, and home early. Crap-attack! The room was basically empty nowhere to hide.
He looks at me point in one of those ways he would get where I obliged.
“Get in that box!”
My answer now would have been “you’re out of your fucking mind!” My answer then was to curl up in the box/trunk thing.
He then closes the lid. Closes the lid! YES, he did that! And……locked it!
I can hear mumbles, not too much more. A tap on the top of the trunk? My first thought is ‘thank god’ I’m getting out.
Next thing I know I’m swaying in the box. I feel all off balance. And mumbling, more mumbling.
My first thought…I’m going to die.
I hear noises and I’m being banged around. What the What!? I hold back tears and screams.
Next thing I know it is calm. I’m no longer moving, I don’t hear anyone. Then all of a sudden there is a loud bang, a few minutes later a strange sound. I’m trying to pick it out, but it’s hard to. I then feel a slight vibration. Holy f-ing god! I’m in the moving truck! I’m in the truck!
FACT: THIS IS A FACT!
I start to cry. I don’t know if I was making a lot of noise, but I was crying, and convinced someone was going to discover my decomposing naked body stuffed in a moving trunk! I was going to die! Period!
Then we stop, the truck stops, I hear noises. I stop crying. (sorta)
Then nothing and nothing.
Here I am a little hazy on the actual event. I may have passed out it is very unclear. I do feel like I was in that trunk in their new house for at least 2 hours. That’s my best guess-timation.
I here a noise, a tap on the trunk. This is either my ‘firstguy’ here to rescue me, or someone else who isn’t prepared to see my boobies.
The trunk opens. It’s ‘firstguy’! That god! And he has my clothes! Thank god again!
It’s dark outside! “Sorry, I couldn’t get away we started dinner.”
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!
I put on my clothes and marched myself all the way home!
And from that point on I decided: I will never get into a box or trunk again for a guy! Period! I’m at least good enough to be provided with a little bubble-wrap first!
SIDEBAR: I did walk myself home, but I should stipulate that ‘firstguys’ family was moving into the house next-door. So it was a short yet purposeful angry walk home!
Holy crapola! Its amazing what youth coupled with discovering relationships can do to judgment. That sounds very traumatizing. :-p
Excuse me for laughing. Not funny when it happens to you, very funny when you hear about it. Boxes are only fun when you’re cohabitating :-)
This adventure of yours made me laugh so hard!
You, missy, have created such a vivid image in my head that I felt like seeing the whole thing happen before my own eyes. I, however, thought you were taken to another town or something, which would have made walking back home a bit tough. :)
Always enjoy reading your blog! :)
Lordy.
I had this happen with a gal. First regular sex relationship. Every Friday she came over because dad worked late for some reason and mom went to her sister’s house in the country.
One week my dad came home way early. We were doing our thing on the floor in the hallway leading from the living room to the kitchen. The door he came in was on the other side of the house. We jumped and grabbed the first things… kitchen table place mats for her and a dog bed for me. Clothes were in the room dad came in.
We crouched in a corner, hoping against hope that something would happen. My car was at a friends house; her’s was parked on the street. My dad had no idea someone was home.
And he brought a woman in with him.
Guh. The rest is a real long story that might be funny in its uncomfortableness. Many worlds collided that night. Including I found out that my “girlfriend” was married (I knew she had a kid that I thought she “lost custody” of.)
Sigh.
Hysterical story and excellent storytelling (as usual). I’d like to point out that your title is a bit misleading as he did not OWN you.
hahaha Plum, This story is absolutely amazing! I must share it with everyone I know. I seriously love your blog!
Charlie Trouble — Who needs judgement!? (thanks for your first comment hon)
.
TheB0y –Laugh away:)
.
Mr. G.A.G — I’m glad you enjoyed! I actually think I tell it better then I write it.
.
Sayer — lordy indeed.
.
drunken_hopfrog — **sigh**
.
Simone –tis true, but he owned the trunk!
.
Lola_Nicole –aww, thanks hon!
@ lostplum: “I actually think I tell it better then I write it.”
Maybe it’s time to create a podcast to showcase your storytelling talent? Plus, some readers are too busy to read, so audio reading of the posts would, probably, increase the number of your satisfied subscribers. :)