Run away..…
I’m going to put this out into the open. I can’t date boys who run. I just can’t do it. For one simple reason: I do not run.
Not only do I find no joy in it. I also find no point to it. And I happen to have the right knee of 72 year old. (due to year of running after soccer balls, and a small incident involving a car)
SIDEBAR: I do however seem to find lots of guys who seem to run from me.
Now, I had this discussion with a friend of mine last weekend. And she agreed, mainly because she, like me doesn’t like it or see the point in it. “As long as they don’t expect me to run with them. I’m cool with it.”
Well here’s the thing: They are never cool with you not doing it. Running like all sports related topics are things people become fanatical about. Now I’m not talking stop your life for fanatical…..but sometimes I am. People who get fanatical about things need to check themselves.
Runner boys say they are cool with you not joining them. But the topic always finds away to come up and be stuffed in your face over and over again. Now I’m not saying I don’t like doing activities and sporty type things, I’m not saying that at all.
Maybe just maybe I’ll break down and go with them. It’s been known to happen. But I don’t last very long till my knee screams (stops) and lets be honest my out of shape ass can’t breath. And then THAT has to come up. I maybe slowed them down, or didn’t push myself, blah blah blah….
Don’t get me started on pushing myself. I can’t stand being pushed into something physical or in the fitness realm. I’ve gone through almost every personal trainer at the gyms because if you yell at me I’m done with you. I do what I want to the point I want. (this maybe why my ass is so huge but we aren’t talking about my ass right now)
So yeah, running! I hate it, and can’t bring myself to date anyone who likes it, or even worse those guys who love it. It isn’t fun, stop telling yourself it is!
Plus, I can think of many other fun activities that can get your heart rate pumping. Activity’s that I find fun as well. Couples who run together make me vomit in my mouth!
FACT: I say “running after soccer balls” because girls soccer is and always will be ‘kick-and-chase’, and we’re all better off if we can just admit that now.
this makes me sad:( I promise I would never make you run with me. But you might be right it really isnt fun when i think about it.
makes me frown face too :( I can’t date a girl who doesn’t want to run with me. PLUM I guess it’s just not meant to be.
I think this is a big city thing. I’ve never seen a girl run or whatever outside!
This is a bit like going to a gym with a girl I liked. No I don’t want you to see my “Sex Face” before the fact when I’m picking up weights, I don’t want you to see how weedy and weak I am against other men. I don’t want you to see my lack of fashion sense when it comes to my gym attire.
I don’t really care if a girl does running, sport, gym, yoga or anything. I don’t want you to see my sweating and stinking of body odour.
Just a normal date to a bar will do for me. Call me old fashioned!
i think it is terrible that you limit yourself to this. lots of great couples don’t share activities that they do together. you’re the one that should check yourself. why are you so picky? this is the real reason you are single. is there any type of guy that you like, and will date? why do some many people love your blog? you’re so judgmental towards men. I hate to break it to you but men don’t like being called boys and they don’t like out of shape bad writers! I’m never coming back to this blog again!
@Jilly-Bean I think you should realise that loads of people have different opinions.
Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.
I run because it keeps me in shape and builds my endurance, which is great for those other activities. I wouldn’t mind either way if the other person wants to run or not. They don’t even have to run with me. Sometimes, running solo is a good way to get your “me” time in, so I totally understand. But having a somewhat active lifestyle, whatever that may mean, is important.
I would never see running as something I like. But, as a guy, I have to do it to keep myself looking good.
Matty — makes me sad too :(
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john — I’m sorry your first ever comment had to be about me making you sad.
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DaveTheBrit — Nothing wrong with alittle old fashion! And agreed I don’t need you seeing me being a whimp at the gym either!
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Jilly-bean — Maybe you’re right maybe mr.right is a runner and I’ve missed the boat. Oh well. I don’t like boats anyways! You’ll be back…. we both know you can’t resist my fat ass or bad writing.
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URWing– Well thank you for your comment. And yes keeping in shape is a good thing. So is me time….and so are personal thoughts. Go you in your keeping inshape goal…..I wish I was as vocal about mine.
@dave you’re british so you can’t really chime in. you and plum should listen to wingman and start running to get your out of shape butts in shape. and maybe you’ll find someone to love you for alittle while.
Plum:
Bravo to you. Why ? Many people just keep knocking their heads against the wall dating the same types of people that don’t work. That said, I think the issue isn’t the fact that they want you to run with them — but the fact that they’re not smart enough to believe you when you say you physically can’t run. I totally get the desire to have a workout / running partner, and how cool that would be if it was your partner in life. But when you say, “I physically can’t run due to injury” and they don’t accept your word, that’s just a guy being a moron and he isn’t worth dating.
As for the real reason you’re single? Because you’re a woman who isn’t willing to settle for someone that won’t treat her properly. And you know what — BRAVO. Find the guy who deserves you and don’t stop until you do.
Good luck ! I’ve got faith in you.
That said, in my humble opinion — instead of completely ruling our runners from day one — you can use their handling of your inability to run as a microcosm of how your relationship will go.
You’re not alone. I hate running too. Nor will I date anyone who runs. They always want me to go running as well. And I don’t run. Unless I’m being chased by a pack of wild, rabid wolves. Then I might run.
LOL @jilly-bean!! TROLL.
Oh, Lostplum! WHY?? WHY????!! WHYYYYYY are you so judgmental towards men?! DAMN YOU!
jilly-bean — I knew you couldn’t stay away. welcome back.
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Ross –Thanks for your first comment, and you’re faith. You just might have a point there ;)
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Starangel — YES! It always comes up, always, and no I don’t want to/can’t go with you. Might run is def. true I think I’m more likely to climb something while getting away from rabid anything…well except squirrels.
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Lola_Nicole — I know, I know, I know….. my bad (hangs head in shame) thanks for your first comment darlin’.
Brilliant: “I say “running after soccer balls” because girls soccer is and always will be ‘kick-and-chase’, and we’re all better off if we can just admit that now.” Yesssssssssss!!!!
And I have never dated a runner, but I dated a cycler, and they’re basically the same. Does it look like I can endure 3+ hours riding a bike? NO!! Leave me alone!! Besides the fact that my hair NEVER fits in helmets, UGH!!
My financee and I work so well together because we have a core group of things we both enjoy, and have friends to do the other things with. She loves ethnic foods — I’m more of a simple eater. I’ve definitely expanded the cuisines that I’ll eat, but there some things that just will never sound good to me. So, she calls up one of her friends and they go to dinner. She still gets what she wants, I don’t have a meal that makes me miserable, and it all works out in the end.
It’s ok for partners to like different things, in fact, it’s incredibly healthy to have some non-shared interests. But if you force your partner to do the things that you like — you’re going to end up back in the dating pool.
Haha, you’re a weirdo. Apart from that, very nice post.
Oh wow, talk about opening Pandora’s box! I didn’t know where to start so I wasn’t going to comment but now I feel I must. But OK, I’ll narrow it down to 3 things…
1.) It’s like morning people convincing you their way is better, or mothers who say your life isn’t complete without a child. Sure, they’ve lived on both sides & have clearly decided which side of the grass is greener… FOR THEM. But not for you. It’s a choice. Some people are runners, some aren’t. People who want to force you to run to ’show you how great it is’ are probably just going to wind up showing you how much it isn’t.
2.) I will never understand couples who must share everything together. Especially running. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’m a runner yet, but it’s definitely ME time. So is gym time. I don’t care if he’s fit or not, but don’t try share it with me cause it’s something that I don’t want to share. Pretty much for the same reasons Dave said – you don’t need to see the journey, you just need to see the end result thank you very much!
3.) Part of me also wonders if these runners you’ve dated want you to run so he can save you (“let me carry you home after you break your knee!”) and/or show off to you (“see how big and strong I am! I can run circles around you!”)… Pretty sure they never do either/both of these things intentionally, but that’s often the reason why. (Or they want to show you how great it is… See #1) Boys can be dumb like that :)
PS. I will never understand people who basically say a blog is a waste of time when clearly they are taking time out of their lives to tell you so. Um, isn’t that a contradiction? Wasting their own time to say that something is a waste of time? Not the brightest crayon in the box.
Runners say they don’t do that because they’re runners and no one can see their own crazy! You are SO right…”You should come running with me…are you sure?…it’ll be fun…I’ll go slow…come on…” End of relationship because I just ran out the door, ha, how ironic! Oh and jilly-bean, plum is a brilliant writer and you’re just angry because she has talent and you don’t…maybe you should take up running?
iamalejandra — kick-and-chase, kick-and-chase! Oh I’m jealous of your big hair!
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Ross — Good thing I can swim!
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Jimmy — takes a weirdo, to know a weirdo! ;)
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Aussie — Good for you and liking to run! I never thought of that about the ’saving’ me part! Hmm…maybe I should go running in the park and fall and find a guy to carry me to the hospital!! You’re a smart one! I like wasting my time on my silly blog! But yes you hit that nail on the head! Once again, you are the smart one!
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Terri — You’re first comment :) I’m glad you agree. And you make me blush ;)
I am with you 100%! I HATE, HATE, HATE running. And I briefly dated a guy who said the opposite thing, he couldn’t be with a girl who didn’t run (I never expected it to go anywhere, it was just fun at the time). It’s SO not fun. And I’m not opposed to physical activities, I go to kickboxing classes, but those ARE fun. :-P
@jilly-bean You are ridiculous. A) I’m sure some “men” don’t mind being called boys. Some people say that about women and girls, and personally, I’d rather be called a girl. Woman makes me feel old. B) There’s nothing wrong with knowing what you DON’T want. Nothing at all. You’re supposed to try to find someone compatible. And she’s right. Almost every runner I know feels the need to try to draw you in, ESPECIALLY to someone they’re dating. I know it’s not the rule, but it’s very common. C) You are taking this WAY too personally and you’re just plain nasty. Uncool.
(But congrats on your first mean comment, lostplum!! ;-P)
Christ. It’s your life. If you don’t like someone because they’re too fat, love to run, eat bananas, wear a skirt better than you, whatever, then so be it.
I mean, Zeus, what’s the big deal? Everyone has preferences.
Jennifer — kickboxing is FUN! And I agree “woman” makes me feel old! Really old! Thanks for the congrats I’m very proud of my very first nasty comment, I usually just get hate emails ;)
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drunkenhopfrog — where are these boys who wear a shirt better then me you speak of?
you all need to get a life. this is just a blog. why do YOU waste your time with it. This is nothing special and she writes like a 6 year old. and you are wrong @terri I have lots of talent. you don’t even know me!!!!!
Successful troll is successful.
jilly-bean I am sorry, I was dead wrong, you have a talent for incredibly witty comebacks! I mean, “you don’t even know me” is right up there with the comeback of say…a six year old?!?
larf at jilly bean and the link for its name.
My boyfriend runs and has never asked me too…
And wow, people can be so rude! I congratulate you on your ability to know what works for you and what doesn’t: having an open mind and settling are so not the same thing.
jillybean — you came back!
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sayer — we all got something ;)
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Terri — I should run my book of comebacks by you, and make sure I hit at least 13yearold standards ;)
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drunken_hopfrog — i wonder what the link is directed at…could it be me?
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Jennifer — and I congratulate you on being able to date a runner! GO YOU!