I’m brilliant and insightful….
Was out with my ‘bra’s’ Simone and Tom last night. (Do you read their blogs? Umm….cause you should!) We started talking about emails we all get in regards to people asking for ‘relationship’ advice.
Now, they get more advise emails then I do, by far. BY far! And this doesn’t surprise me. First off, my male readership is larger then my female readership, and well, it takes a lot for guys to just come out and ask for advice. (in my opinion) Second off, as my mother would put it:
MamaPlum: You don’t give relationship advice on that silly blog of yours do you?
Me: No! (laughing)
MamaPlum: Good! You’re the last person who should be giving relationship advice!
After our discussion last night, I went back through my email inbox, and pulled out some of the ‘advise’ questions. So here are 3 advise emails. Broken down, and then my two sense!
Three stellar moments of dating/relationship/love/sex advise from Miss. LostPlum:
Q: “My girlfriend doesn’t seem to like blowing me….I don’t get how….what can I do….”
A: Is your penis smaller then average? No disrespect, but speaking from a personal stand point. I love to go down on a guy, unless the package isn’t that appetizing! In which case I’ll pass! I’d rather be sucking on your cock, then stuck not being able to breath someplace lost between your sweaty thighs, ball hair, and stomach (just saying). If that isn’t the case, and if it means a lot to you bring it up, and/or walk away. Being able to sexually satisfy each other is a major part of any relationship. (Also, who doesn’t like doing that? Really?)
Q: Your dating bootcamp….is there such a thing for guys…I need that…what about pickup men…suggest.
A: Well dating boot camp that I did was hosted by Matt/Tamsen who do offer services for males, but I can’t speak for their effectiveness or even the program.If you are looking for a pickup/wingman service let me point you towards The Art of Charm guys. Again, I can’t speak directly for their effectiveness, but out of the ‘wingman/pickup artists’ services, they are by far the least douche-baggy one out there, and even better check out their Pick Up Pod Cast (I enjoy them!) OR even better go out, be yourself, and smile!
Q: When you….condoms….what is your favorite condom…cool to know what chicks think.
A: Condoms, condoms, condoms! Well the best thing about sex is trying out different types of condoms. Try them out, take them for a test ‘run’, and figure out what works out best for you…or even better what your ‘friend’ likes.
As much as I usually love your mom’s advice, I’m going to have to disagree with her here. You are not the last person who should be giving relationship advice. In fact, you’re pretty good at it.
As an addendum,here are my two cents on the condom thing: Yes guys, please have fun trying many out. But for the love of god, do not try to have actual vaginal intercourse with an unlubricated condom. It will not be a pleasant experience for the woman involved. Unless, of course, you take less than 60 seconds. Then she’s not really going to care what you use. Just that you go away and never come back again.
SIMONE is right guys!! I actually just spit out water from my mouth when I read her comment…..yes, we will just lay then and pray for you to go away!!
Are you serious?
Ok, does that 60 second thing really happen? I’m no marathon man (unless alcohol has been consumed) but anyone that’s had sex more than 2-3 times should have some idea how to pace themselves for 5-10 minutes – even if they’re a natural early bird – even if it’s the hottest gal ever.
Gah.
click_Lnks — thanks for your first comment, and welcome to my blog! I’m not to sure what your questions is in regards too, but I will say that I’m general pretty much always serious, in a non serious type of way; )
drunkenhopfrog — yeah see anything under 10minutes might as well be 60…..but yes 60 has happened, yes, oh, yes it has!