The Lost Plum…

I do a weekly installment on this blog called: The Sunday Pull (pick-up-line-love)

Which are all actual pickup lines (good or bad, you be the judge) that have been used on me. I started keeping journals of them “a long-long time ago“, during my first year at University.

Like all freshmen away from home we socialized alot, and one thing my girl friends used to point out was how I got hit on by everyone (but mostly real ‘winners’), and it was like guys tried out the worst pickup lines (ever) on me.  My friend ‘Em’ (who sadly I don’t talk to anymore) used to say, “what pickup line love did that guy try?” (Hence the title PULL)

Everyone kept saying I should write them down, and I’d joke that maybe I would, but never did. However, when this incident happened I officially started my PULL journals.

–a long-long time ago–

The first big snowfall of the year was huge my freshman year. Being from northern Canada though I trudged through the snow to my only class, which had not been cancelled. Once it was finished I made my way back to the dorms through the newly cleared limited pathways.

A guy passed me, he nicely smiled as he walked by, and said hello. I smiled back. (He was the only other person on the path back towards the dorms with me)

As we walked (him about 5 feet ahead of me) he kept turning back to look at me, and would smile. He then stopped and bent down to what looked like to tie his shoe. I passed him.

It was cold, and my feet were wet and the campus looked bare.

I’m walking and all of a sudden….BAM! A powerful force out of nowhere bangs into me. I’m face down in a huge pile of snow, and it hurts!

‘Tying’ his Shoe Guy: “Oh god! I’m so sorry!” (He is helping me up, and brushing snow off me while continuing to apologize)

Me: (speechless)

‘Tying’ his Shoe Guy:  I didn’t see you there!

Me: Are you kidding me!? There isn’t anyone else here!..That really hurt. (Continue to wipe snow off myself and collect my belongings, which have flown into a large pile of snow)

‘Tying’ his Shoe Guy: I feel terrible. I really didn’t see you. (continues to apologize)

Me: (eye roll as I finally find my bag in snow)

‘Tying’ his Shoe Guy: Really! I’m so sorry. Can I make it up to you and take you out to dinner sometime. I’d love to take you out.

Me: No, that’s ok. I’m fine, no worries.

‘Tying’ his Shoe Guy: Well I really want to take you to dinner……to say I’m sorry.

Me: Did you just push me in the snow to ask me out!?

(Silence)

Me: Seriously!? How old are we 5?

(And I walked away in a cold-wet-huff)

(reason #___why I’m single: I don’t always give people a chance.)

I wrote the other day about having stuff from the past being confirmed.  I’ve never seen my comments light up with such frenzy (you guys are more the silent type when it comes to comments)

Now, everyone can take away from that post what they will, and think of me what they will (heck, and even think of him what you will) but at the end of the day the issue for me becomes (and always will be): Lying

And not for the obvious reasons you may think.

I am such a trusting person. I believe pretty much anything people tell me if it is not completely ridiculous. (There is a difference between gullible and trusting, I am far from gullible)

More importantly I’m easy to lie to. I just naturally will trust someone, and more so people I know and even worse people I care for.

SIDEBAR: My parents think it’s a miracle I wasn’t kidnapped as a child. I to this day might get even get into a strangers car if they told me my mom sent them to pick me up.

I think this is because I am such a terrible liar. Really I’m bad at it! You can read it on my face, in my voice, and it’s just bad news.

FACT: I’m good with secrets but not surprises. I’m always someone’s go to “are they planning a surprise party for me?” Cause you can see the “yes” on my face as I smile and nod “no”.

I’m intrigued by people who are amazing liars, and maybe sometimes jealous. I never believe someone could be lying to me because it’s so hard for me to do back.  However, maybe this is why I ‘fall’ for lying guys all the time. They intrigue me.  I don’t know it at the time but, that hidden thing that fascinates me might just be their ability to manipulate the truth….. Wow I guess I do have a type after all!

In ever relationship advice column known to man one of the key things is: Be honest with each other.  Now granted, I haven’t read everything on relationships, heck, I haven’t really read anything about relationships.

If honesty, is such a key part of a relationship why is lying such a key part of our society?

People know I’m a bad liar, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve been told I’ve gotten better at the “white lie”.  Those everyday lies we all tell each other. You know the ones.  The “I mailed it yesterday”, “did you not get my text?”, “I’ll call you later,” white lies, which in a way make our world function.

If lying is so bad, why do so many of us do it?  Maybe, what I’ve been doing wrong all along when it comes to boys is being completely honest and trusting of them (and of all people, really) All my friends in long term, seeming good relationships tell me of lies they have told, and secrets they have from their partners all the time.

Maybe lying is the key to a great relationship. Ever stop to think about that one? It is a trait that is distinctly human. It’s in our DNA. It is what separates us from the animals. Except octopuses’, I don’t trust those 8 legged freaks!

Maybe I’ve got something here, or maybe I’m just lying to myself!

(reason #___why I’m single: I don’ trust octopuses’, and if I had to be a sea animal I’d be a manatee hands down!)

socks & sandals man: “Are you drunk?”

lost plum: “Well I’m working on it.”

socks & sandals man:  ”I’m not drunk enough to punish yet!….Want to get on that sweetness, anything vodka would be great!”

It’s National Singles Week. Take that to mean what you will. However, I thought I needed to write a post on being single or something like that, cause you know I never write on important issues.

I bounced around ideas: What being single meant to me, how I feel about all my friends getting married, what I do and don’t like about being single, the past proposals, and then I was reminded of a previous post I did about relationship references.

As many of you know at the end of many of my posts I list reasons why I may be single. (Most of these are jokes, or are they) So, I decided to take the reference list full circle.

Now please remember that the boys I asked to give me relationship references are from all different types of ‘involvement’, from the very serious ‘boyfriend’ relationship, to the really good friends who I drunkenly made-out with once.

I re-contacted my 10 references. I asked them if they had to describe why I was single in 140 characters what would their answer be. So, here is their brilliant and insightful insight into why I am celebrating another National Singles Week.  (insert drum-roll)

: I know she has not or will not ever settle for someone she isn’t into.

: I said it before: She talks ALOT but listens more so be careful!!

: If she still had the body she used to she wouldn’t be. She got fat.

: I have no answer for this except there must be something wrong besides all the obvious things.

: Because I don’t even know anyone deserving enough for the wonderfulness that she is, and she knows this as well.

: She’s too funny to keep up with, and guys like to be the funny ones.

: She let’s things roll off her. Guys like girls who cry and scream and get hurt by little things. It takes a lot to hurt her feelings, and make her mad/cry, and she never bitches.

: She’s waiting for the moment she knows someone really loves her.

: She’s scared.

: She’s not interested in fixing and working things out. When it’s done it’s done and she’s gone. She gives up on guys and writes them off easily.

SIDEBAR: I enjoy being able to celebrate National Singles Week!

FACT: The following are matched in the same order as the ‘relationship reference’ list.

(reason #___why I’m single: See above!)

I had a bad night the other day. I got upset, and the fact that I was upset over something I really shouldn’t be caring about is what really upset me.  The fact that I even cared made it even worse.

I always say every guy I’ve ever been serious about has cheated on me. Well all but one, but I always had my doubts about him as well. Now, I didn’t doubt him because other guys had cheated on me, or all guys are douche-bags kind of way. It was more just a feeling I got from him and this might have been one of the reasons we drifted (there are so many other reasons/issues but that’s a novel not a blog post)

So the other night I couldn’t sleep, and my mind was already turning. I needed something to watch/listen too as I rolled over and tried to sleep. I looked through hulu (nothing really was catching my eye), netflixs (nothing either), and then I quickly went to the living room to look at our much to large DVD collection. I for some reason grabbed a DVD I had never watched, a DVD I knew I didn’t really care if I feel asleep during, I mean what could possible happen that I would care about.

I grabbed a documentary filmed with ‘band boy’ and his band as they did a major tour.  I had heard great things about it, remember 14 yearold girls pushing me out of the way to get it signed, but I personally had never watched it. So, I start to watch the 5 boys depart on their world tour adventure.

SIDEBAR: I feel like I need to mention the fact that at the time of this tour ‘band boy’ and I were dating, and I was even lucky enough to go on location too much of said world tour.

I’m watching, I’m watching, I’m watching. I turn over, I close my eyes, and I’m entering sleep. And then…I hear parts of a conversation, I turn over, I hit volume up, and slide my glasses on. I then rewind, then rewind again.

Are you fucking kidding me?!

I watch with my jaw open as the boys are teasing, laughing at, and discussing ‘band boys’ hickey, and the girl he was with the night before.

A hickey!? Are you fucking kidding me! I rewind some more, check location. Yup, ok a hickey in less then 48hours since I had left him/seen him.

So, there you have it.  My one and only ‘maybe’ did indeed cheat on me. It is now official:  Every guy I have ever been in a serious relationship with has indeed cheated on me.

Now my feelings on cheating and such are for another day. All I will say is that the only thing about this that bothers me is he lied to me. Period. That’s the worst part (and even more so because I still consider him a friend) I’m upset with myself, because I knew this, I knew in the back of my head, and in my being that this happened at least once and now it feels like numerous times. I should have trusted myself, and I thought by that point I did, but it turns out no.

I’m very angry with myself about this! I hate when I let my guard down.  I also hate that this is bothering me so much.  BUT, I will say I’m glad I broke the heart of a guy who lets one night stands give hickeys!  Who does that?