Mama knows….

I poke fun at my mother a lot on here. It’s all in good fun, but at the end of the day as much as she makes me roll my eyes, shake my head, or even shake my fist, I love her to death and she is my best friend and she’s taught me a lot.

10 things Mama Plum has taught me about love-dating-sex and the opposite sex:

1)  Never-ever take nude photos or make a sex tape with or for someone. “That’s all you need is people on the Internet knowing your business, or seeing your business!”

2)  Guys will always pick fame and fortune first! You can still make it work and still have a great relationship, but if a guy is ‘famous’ that always comes first. “You don’t scream and cry for him like all those little fans do, sweetie!”

3)  “Everybody likes desert, but there is a reason the cheese cake factory is trashy!”  There is nothing wrong with giving away a little desert, but don’t be over indulgent and fill the plate.  “It’s better to have just a bite rather then the whole gross big slice”   (As we know I’m not always great at this rule!)

4) Wear a good bra! ”  A bra is to show you off, not for you to take off”

5)  Buy a king size bed! You’ll spend too much time talking about how you two should of that it will take time off your life. “Scratch that, I’ll get you one as a wedding gift….if that ever happens!”

6)  ”Take that hat off, boys need to see your beautiful eyes”. I went threw a hat phase. Name any type of hat I wore them all the time. I got over it, and guys saw a lot more of me. (although I still hide behind my glasses)

7) “Showering together only leads to trouble” she makes a good point, except I don’t know exactly what type of trouble she meant.

8) You should always be open with a significant other in regards to spending habits, credit card debt, and loans, ect. “Cause once I get you married you’re off the Plum family payroll”

9)  “Even lip-gloss is something” My mother feels very strongly about never being seen in public without a little something in the makeup realm. This to her is not only done for yourself, but more importantly for others, and in my case the opposite sex.

10)  Most importantly just be yourself! “Someone out there will put up with you and all your funny stuff” No matter who you are someone will love that about you. Never settle for being anything but yourself.

FACT: My parents went on 2 dates, and got engaged. My dad then moved cross-country and flew back for the wedding. I wasn’t born for another 3 years (if that’s what you were thinking) So, not sure how much she knows about relationships or boys, but this fact always creeps my brother out, so I needed to re point it out for him!

SIDEBAR: She’s not best friend enough to know the address to this blog, she knows there is one, just not how to find it.

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12 Comments Add Yours ↓

The upper is the most recent comment

  1. 1

    Haha, that’s really funny. Your mother seems like a bit of a wise bird though. My mother is forever coming out with some amazing zen-like Buddha comments.

    Sitting in silence watching TV…

    “You know, we ALWAYS run out of toilet paper on Tuesdays”

    Mother’s are geniuses

    Great post!

  2. 2

    thanks conor, and thanks for your first comment! I was just reading on your blog about some of your mothers hijinks ; )

  3. 3

    This was great… although I feel like I know exactly when she told you #2…

  4. 4

    First off, you’re mom sounds like she is–The Awesome (and oddly reminds me of my own mother).

    Secondly, #3 is my favorite. The Cheesecake Factory is pretty trashy.

    Thirdly, I am so stealing #4.

  5. 5

    Travis — If you are thinking someone named Shane you would be mistaken….not the first time ;)

    LMS — The analogies of desert to sex that come from my mother are just crazy…but yes the cheese cake factory is a good one (funny thing is, I don’t think she has ever been in a cheese cake factory!)

  6. thrillhouse1134 #
    6

    #6 Yes, hats are a sign of insecurity, best to keep them off (as I remove my Giant Sombrero) #7 The only trouble that arises is one where the “guy” freezes to death on the far end of the shower.

  7. 7

    I have always loved the story of how your parents went on 2 dates and got engaged. I don’t know why it freaks your brother out so much. I think it’s FABULOUS.

    As to which of these are my favorite – I can’t decide. I LOVE #10 (no truer advice has ever been give). But #3 has a certain charm.

  8. 8

    thrillhouse — I never am sure what type of “trouble” she means. She says this point alot…. but maybe you’re right!

    Simone — The two date thing doesn’t creep me out like it does my brother, but it’s odd that’s for sure! I wonder if you think #10 is true in the general sense, or me finding someone to put up with all my “funny stuff”.

  9. jefferson #
    9

    how would she feel about people on the internet knowing her business?

  10. jen #
    10

    I love your mom!

  11. 11

    I absolutely love #10. I should put that on a plaque and send it to all the singles I know, men and women, because it is so true and sums up what love is all about.

  12. PAL #
    12

    The make up thing–I’ve never left house without mascara since I heard this story!



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