oh…hello there!
Was out the other night with a fellow blogger and my homesicle* Tom. And as you can imaging the topic went from PG-what’s-new to talking about penis slapping people in the face (the only thing I totally regret not including here!) So, Tom in all his foolery informs me that apparently guys like to just throw their penis out there. (Well he said “some guys” I don’t want to put words in him mouth)
It got me thinking. (As I so often do on my train rides home)
So… here is a list of the Top 5 “oh wow, that’s your penis right there” moments, feel free to comment about your own personal ones:
Take Me For a Ride ~ Going home one night (about 4 years ago) on a crowded #1 train the guy standing in front of me (I was sitting) unzipped and pushed his limp penis threw his fly, which slowly grew in front of me…….
Model Love ~ that model guy from almost a year ago who was way to dumb and way to young for me, took me to dinner. A very very nice dinner, at a very nice place. He excused him self to use the restroom and then,
Model: I found something in the bathroom you may like.
Un model like me: I highly doubt that (laughing)
Model guy then removes his hand which is resting near his belt buckle and pocking up from his pants right above his belt and in front of his tucked in shirt is his little friend saying hello.
Take That ~In University, my friend ‘TSS’ and ‘S-Collins’ were in the student lounge with me. ‘TSS’ said something that most likely poked funny at “S-Collins” (I don’t remember what was said, but I do remember us laughing our asses off) And then next thing I know is he has his pants around his ankles in front of her, Takes his penis and slapped her across the face with it. (The laughing stopped for a moment; we lifted our jaws off the floor and continued to laugh even harder)
I’ll Just Keep Driving ~ I was driving back home late from a cousins wedding (has to be like 7 years ago) and had taken a good friend from University as my date. He took full advantage of the free bar, and on the drive home we are talking and then I look over and he’s trying to fit his penis into the tip of a water bottle, cause he had to pee. (He then proceeded to climb into the backseat and try to pee out the window as I was driving on the highway, but that’s another story)
#1 is Where It’s At – It was about two years ago, middle of August, and one of those balls-ass-kill-me-now-nyc summer days! Sitting on the #1 train, which had about 20 people in the car. I notice out of the corner of my eye the man sitting across from me doing something. I take a closer look, and yup there he is masturbating. It proceeded to become one full on masturbating session (this guy really had to work that out, we’re talking moans people) No one really did anything or said anything (besides not sit right next to him) It was defiantly one of those NYC summer moments where you’ll put up with anything on the train cause its got Air-Conditioning and the other option is death.
SIDEBAR: A homesicle is usually used to describe a “homie” that lives with you…Tom does not live with me or vise versa…..(I mean it more like a tom-popsicle…..but not in a dirty way.)
FACT: If you aren’t reading Tom’s foolery over at YOURTANGO, you are missing out! Case and Point.
EW I can’t believe you saw that on the train! Oh my god!
HA HA HA! You should have punched that first guy on the train in the junk! HA
I do not love the idea of gross random men masturbating on the 1 train. But right time, right place, right man and I’m all for a bit of penis throwing. Especially when it’ s a magnum and you know it’s going to bring you oodles of pleasure.
I’m sorry. Talk of penises always gets me excited.
oh matty, boston is going to have to watch out when you get there!
KB! You are crazy girl! No worries, a little talk in general (can be about anything) gets me excited ; )
I’ve never been that brave/disgusting but there have been instances that required a “whipping out” so to speak, and I did of course whip it out to much rejoicing, of course :D
oh…there are always instances where whipping out is a good thing ;)
Indeed. I have a great example but definitely need to be more anonymous to share.
Ok well… 10 years ago I was the CFO of a mortgage brokerage when that was a good biz to be in. We used to party like rock stars at the owners million dollar crib (that’s saying something in the Mid-West).
The guys were wrapping up the party downstairs playing pool. We were all smoked – walking blackouts. The bosses wife was passed out on the couch. The boss always used to tell us he would penis-whip his wife in the face when he wanted needed to tel her to do something. Us minions heard this story dozens of times.
His wife was SoCal/Mexican and made the best margaritas ever. So the boss told me to wake up the wife and tell her to go make some margaritas. I failed to wake her up at first.
And yes, then I penis whipped her in the face to wake her up. “Hey boss-man, is this how you do it?”
I was not fired. But there was nice little conversation that had to happen among the three of us to make sure everything was still good.