The Lost Plum…

I’ve been working on a blog about Things we women say/talk about that really actually scare guys away (besides saying you want lots and lots of babies!  BABIES! )

I notice that my friend Tom over at YourTango wrote a post about Why Your Number Doesn’t Matter.  One of his points falls under the topic of things we think he wont care about but he totally does!

Tom says in his post that basically guys won’t care about famous people you have had sex with.   He claims they won’t be jealous, and may even want to hang out with him.

First off, if you are dating a guy who only wants to meet your ‘famous’ friends, you should dump him.  ASAP. I’m serious!  Been there done that! Most guys, (not all) but most, want to meet your famous female friends to hit on and have hopes of hooking up with them, and the whole pretty girls lead to pretty girl’s theory.  Guy also want to meet your famous male friends, because of groupies! Just watch Encourage once; Guy’s gets girls by association.  They know this, and we all know this.  So if your man keeps bringing up meeting your ‘famous’ friend question his intentions.

Also, I hate to disagree with Tom but guys DO care what famous people you have slept with. And here are the examples:

1: “ I don’t know who that is….”

That guy you slept with once or twice or for a few months who is on/was on “that TV show” he claims to have never seen. Or played a supporting role in that huge summer blockbuster movie. Most of the time they will say they “don’t know”, have never seen that because they don’t want to hear details.  Or on those occasion they really don’t know you better believe he is googling and imdb-ing that person first chance he gets: translation jealous!

2:  “ He’s in the Band……”

You better believe guys care about band guys. Band guys translate to groupies, and tours and on that note tour busses.  Which translates into wondering if you are a groupie slut or have been in a past life.  I dated a guy in a pretty successful band and let me tell you the sigma of “band groupie” (which I never was) is not pretty, we all know this.  And again, this is one he will claim to not knowing and will Google.  Watch videos, listen to songs, and see pictures of hundreds of girls throwing themselves at these guys.  I had a guy I started dating once ask if I snuck onto a tour bus, in reference to my ex.  I was shocked.  Do I look like a girl who would sneak on a tour bus, or follow a band cross-country? But more so, he’s saying and thinking “this girl will have sex with whom ever if they are ‘famous’” And this in tern leads to maybe not jealousy all the time, but more it changes how a guy sees you. And thinks about your past.

3:  “ There have been a few…”

When you happen to have had relations with multiple “famous” people that makes guys minds spin, and really not in a good way.  There is the band guy, the movie star, the TV guy, the TV and movie guy…ect.   They start to wonder what you did to snag a guy like that.  I had a guy I slept with recently when this topic came up and I mentioned a certain actor and he said, “I thought he had a girlfriend” It wasn’t said as a question. It was said very matter of factually.  I sorta explained but didn’t cause all I could think of was he was questioning my morals with a statement like that. How does he not after saying that!  They also start to think they aren’t good enough if you happen to always date ‘famous’ people.  They feel like they can’t live up to that.  I’ve had a few guys tell me after we broke up/stopped seeing each other in that way that they were always alittle jealous of the fact I had had sex with “so and so”, and felt they could never be as good as that person (not in a sex way but in a life way!)

Guys care about numbers, yes!

I’m not one to talk numbers; all you need to know is if I’m clean, period.  But lets say you throw out a number of ‘famous’ people you have had sex with. I find this question pops up more then the whole number question.

And it does for a reason.  Guys know that you shouldn’t really ask a girl how many people she has slept with unless maybe you are totally in a serious ‘thing’, but the guy you go out with once a week and have sex finds it is perfectly acceptable to bring up the famous people thing. I mean it pops up very casually, and can fit into conversation easily and usually girls don’t really question the question.  If they can find out how many famous people you have slept with that can lead to guessing a total number.

I personally always say “what do you consider famous?” But that’s cause I fall into #3 above (there have been a few).  See here is the thing; I tell a guy I’ve been involved with 4 (maybe 5, but again what do you consider famous?) So I tell a guy 5 guys, that makes my number in his mind already 10.  He’ll assume I didn’t lose my virginity to a famous person, and there is him, and of course university/and the fact that I date a lot. Hell that might even make him think 20.

Basically, in translation a guy might seem ok with it, might want to hang with your famous ex-bed partner, but you better believe he has thought about it and will continue to think about it.

You’ll get the slide “did you see so-and-so on perezhilton today” or “so-and-so’s new movie is coming out”. They aren’t saying this as a friendly I bet you’d be interested or I care about you kind of way.  They say it to judge your reaction.  Because guys are always jealous, but more so guys are jealous about the guy you are seeing blown up on the movie screen while you are out on a date with him, or who’s song is being played while you guys are at the bar, rather then the random banker you happen to have dated.

Therefore, the famous people you slept with count, and sometimes count twice!

SIDEBAR:  I truly believe you can “lose” a guy by admitting to having sex with and even better having dated a famous person. VERY few guys will just find this fact cool. They get intimidated, jealous and scared and next thing you know they are gone.  It however, doesn’t work as well as screaming about your need for BABIES! Lots and lots of Babies!