The Lost Plum…

Last night Simone and I had the pleasure of attending a Thrillist Special Event “The Internet is Out Of Control”. (It’s the start of Internet week ’09) If you aren’t on Thrillist’s email list, which will keep you up-to-date on the ‘hotness’ of happenings around the city (both here and else where) Then you should be…like do it now…I’m waiting…ok…did you sign up?….

So while the Internet superhighway raged out of control, and we sipped on our drinks, we meet an array of colourful and wonderful characters. However, as much as I could gush about all the wonderful people that work at Thrillist (did you sign up yet!?), and all the other random contacts we made, I’m going to focus on one guy in particular.  Actually, this guy falls into the small group I’m calling the “over sexed, but obviously not getting sex Australians” We meet about 6 of them, and I’m sure there were more.  Well, the last one I talked too and his ‘protective’ practices are going to be my focus right now.

One sponsor of last night’s event was Trojan. Now I’ve been to many (and even planned many) a Trojan, and in general a condom sponsored party, and they always ensue conversation topics. So as we walk in, we are handed our “virus protection” for the evening: a product called Trojan 2Go. A condom designed to prevent those ever-awkward moments of pulling out a ‘beat-up’ condom from your wallet, and or purse. (I think they are brilliant! Check them out!)

Fast-forward about 4 hours into the evening…

These two guys (who again fall into the no sex/sexed Australians) come over to talk to us, just after I was able to escape from the last one, who actually said the following to me:  “See I’m leaning into you with my hand pulling you towards me. It shows I’m interested in you and dominant.”  He apparently gets guys to pay him $600 to be his wingman for the night….(if anyone wants to pay me to do that I’ll charge you $20! And I’m definitely a hotter wingman then he could ever be!)

OK OK…so these guys come over. Simone is stuck talking to short terrible hair (lack of hair) one, and I get the big tall one. He proceeds to ask me if I “stocked up on condoms”.  “No. Did you?”  I ask. He then laughs and proceeds to tell me “They are regular sized condoms and they just don’t fit me.”(insert my eye roll…infact Every females eye roll here) He then keeps going on the subject saying things like  “ I wouldn’t know cause I’ve never had to wear one.” And “even the biggest ones are tight”.

Ok I can understand a condom not being comfortable, sure. But too tight, come on.  I’ve always been very very fortunate with experiencing the ‘larger’ side of life, but absolutely not able to wear a regular condom, even if to just getter done….that was a terrible pun;)   And, here’s the other thing.  This guy is clearly trying to pick me up in some shape or form, and at the end of the day he wants to have sex.  So, why on earth would you tell me that you don’t like wearing condoms….speaking from experiences isn’t that the line guys usually save for once your pants are already off!

FACT: You don’t even want to know the number of men in NYC who has herpes…seriously! It’s a scary scary fact…Use a condom, even if it’s a little tight.

 SIDEBAR: As Simone and I discussed this over our late night fried food, we talked about how we’ve all seen a blown up condom….and those things can stretch!