The Lost Plum…

Midtown NYC! Yes, drives me a little batty every time I walk through it, but I will say my skills in the “weaving” department are rivaled by many.  However, there is a time when Midtown is the worst place on earth…..(this is where the drummer boys roll their drums) The HOLIDAY SEASON! It’s like every other place in the world decided to take a big ‘Christmas Poo’ on the city.

The following conversation happened today between me and a lady in a bright purple and pink ski jacket.

“Excuse me”

“It’s a don’t walk sign”

“I didn’t ask you to walk, I’d just would like you to move, please”

She gave me a good “hmph” and rolled her eyes and said to her friend,

“New Yorkers are crazy, look she’s just walking across the street………..”

 SIDEBAR:  ”christmas poo’ is a SouthPark reference, and if you didn’t at least know that in the back of your head we can never be friends.

Four reasons/incidents why I may need a new tuque! (or hat, or stocking-cap, or whatever you want to call it… I CALL IT A TUQUE!)

All the following events happened today; before 1pm, and are not listed in chronological order.

Reason#1:

Scene: At the laser place this morning while booking my next appointment/getting ready to leave.

Me: (putting on my tuque)
Laser Chick at Desk: I like your hat, my daughter would love it.
Laser Dude at Desk: How old is your daughter?
Laser Chick: (to him) She’s 4! (to me) So we’ll see you again on the 2nd. Did you remember your underwear? *see giggles*

sidebar: I forgot my underwear once. Once! And I remembered it when I was in the elevator, and I went back for it….yet they think its the funniest thing ever! Those tall skinny European hairless chicks making jokes at my expense…I hate them.

Reason#2::

Scene: In Crate & Barrel, just looking at stuff.

Me: (looking at pillows)
Random Guy: I have those on my sofa.
Me: They are very nice.
Random Guy: Maybe you and your cute little hat want to come see how they look outside of the store sometime.
Me: My cute little hat doesn’t really like field trips.
Random Guy: *Laughs with a snort* (no joke)
Me: Yeah…*sigh*… (walk away)

Reason#3:

Scene: Walking across 59th from 5th towards Columbus Circle/Whole Foods to buy a salad and a fruit. Passing all the carriage ride guys/horses 

Me: (walking)
Horse Guy: Are you interested in a carriage…
Me: No, thank you. (as I walk past him)
Horse Guy: (turns around follows me) I like your hat! It looks great on you.
Me: Thank you.
Horse Guy: Do you salsa dance?
Me: No, I don’t like social situations.
Horse Guy: It doesn’t have to be social.
Me: Well I don’t like people in general.
Horse Guy: What if I give you a carriage ride for free.
Me: I can’t right now I’m on my way to a tea party.
Horse Guy: Well I…… (I’m not sure what else he said cause he stopped walking and I kept going)

Reason#4:

Scene: Walking along 59th I decide to go into Sarabeth and make a reservation for next week, rather then call, cause I’m walking right by it. Inside Sarabeth.

Me: (just finishing making my reservation, turn around to leave)
Mysterious Man: Excuse me miss.
Me: Pardon? (I look and probably made a strange face)
Mysterious Man: I just wanted to say I like your stocking-cap.
Me: What? Oh, my tuque! Thank you. (as I touch my head)
Mysterious Man: Tuque! *laughs a hardy laugh* I guess you could call it that. 
*awkward pause*
Mysterious Man: Do you like mine?
Me: Excuse me?
Mysterious Man: My Hat!
Me: Yeah, it’s very……..You!
Mysterious Man: *hardy laugh as he throws his head back…picture Samuel L. Jacksons hardy laugh)
Me: Well bye.
Mysterious Man: *tips his hat to me*
Me: *tip my hat or try too*
Mysterious Man: *laughs a hardy Samuel L. Jackson type laugh again*

Side Bar: The Mysterious Man all in black laughs like Samuel L. Jackson because well it was Samuel L. Jackson!!