The Lost Plum…

I’m packed up and moved out of the theatre.  I am done my “job”. I have walked, and been kicked out.  

FACT: Most bullshit reason ever to be fired….RIGHT HERE!

I’m one year older, and in a sense one year wiser. I am technically a “MASTER” now, so that statement can be true. I guess I should muster up the formula for the “birthday post” about what the last 27 years have taught me. However, I’ve always been a low-key type birthday person.  Or at least I have been since birthday 21!

Since I turned 21 most of my birthdays usually are days of me denying that I’m getting older, accepting that death looms closer, and stuffing my sorrow with anything that is carb-tastic! (We all remember last years 3 physic readings in a row that said I would basically never make it to see 26)

My 21st Birthday:  I was at home, and everyone forgot. And when I say everyone, I mean fucking everyone!! My friends, my boyfriend, my brother, and my parents.  At about 11pm, I in my room, basically in tears over the fact that no one loved me, I hear my mom knock at the door and ask what is wrong.  I look at her and say; “I don’t know what ever could be wrong on my birthday!?”

She said something I don’t know, about something and asked if I was going to come downstairs.  I went down stairs after (as I hear my parents chattering about something) she left to where she preceded to hand me a card.  I open the card.  It is a pretty little card with flowers on it. It says THANK YOU on the front.  In side, my mother writes, “For being the best Birthday girl!”  (She sure did) and Inside is $95, mostly in 5 and 10 dollar bills (I guess that’s what my parents had.  And since then, I just haven’t paid much attention to birthdays, this way; I’m not disappointed when everyone forgets.

SIDEBAR: The next day I had lots of presents and a fancy dinner, and one of the biggest cakes I have ever seen.  I think my mom went to the store and they had 2 cakes left. The one she didn’t get, and the huge slab cake which was bigger then any office party cake I had ever seen.

FACT:  The cake took up most of the kitchen table.  The dog ate around the entire cake (only leaving a small part in the middle which she couldn’t reach) To this day when my mom brings up how my dog has a bad sweet tooth I blame it on her forgetting my birthday….and she then starts apologizing profusely again.

[ NOTE: I have a kind of tradition of picking up all lose change I find while working in a space on a show/job. Kind of a little 'game' of lets see how much money I make on this show, I keep it all in a little jar...Im a nerd]

An unnamed Off-Broadway THEATER

TOTAL FOUND =$ 13.74 

(that dollar coin really was exciting to find, to bad I can’t spend it anywhere)

HOURS WORKED =

Now this is harder to figure out. I know of 32 days total I was not at the theater, but let’s round up and say 50 days I didn’t go in. I would say I work an average of 10 hours a day, but lets round that down to 8 (evens out those days I didn’t come in, and those days I didn’t sleep and spent the night, or two) Let’s say 360 days in the year minus the 50 days = 310 days/8hours each 2480 hours (and thats not including the fact I’m attached to my phone/email)

= 2480 hours

SO

$13.74 over 2480 hours

= $.0055 cents an hour! 

Conclusion: I love theater! where else can you make that much money from just bending down to pick it up, and get fired on a sunday.