The Lost Plum…

I did  a post back in September on things a guy could do to me/ for me/ with me that would make me swoon.

A few of the things I mentioned fall under the things I want to “do” as in on a date.  Take me out, and lets have an adventure, let’s have fun.  If I have fun and laugh my ass off you got me wrapped around your finger.  It’s true, I know it….and now you all know it!

Here is the thing. I friggen love sports related dates.

I love going to a game, and I love doing something sporty. I might seem nervous or anxious and I just might suck at as ’sport’.  But I’m always up for the challenge!

Here is the other thing: I’m competitive as poo.

I’m not competitive in the sense of throw you down, bad sportsmanship. I just want to win so bad, and I hat eto break it to you but, I ALWAYS do win!

I truly do win every time. I win because I have an amazing time. In fact, I most definitely will have more fun then you at whatever game we play and thus I always win.

I went go-cart racing the other day. My friend “theb0y” may have lapped me a total of 6 times but you better believe i was giggles and smiles from ear to ear under my helmet from the moment I hit the gas.  I totally won that race, and always will win.

So yeah a guy who wants to compete with me but understands that I always will win would make me do back flips. In fact, better back flips then he could ever do, cause you know I always win.

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On Saturday I talked about the ‘bad’ date I had with the boy who asked too many inappropriate questions. And now I have realized he just might be inappropriate all together, or at least have boundary issues.

Whenever the conversation moves towards cell phones which frankly somehow always happens.  I’m not one to really bring it up but for some reason I find guys bring them up all the time. They are checking out the type of phone you have. Which is cool cause honestly I don’t think I can date a guy with a completely out of date cell phone.

SIDEBAR: I’m a blackberry girl.  Have been for a very very long time (and I mean very very long time)

So “Question boy” and I were talking about phones, he has an iphone and I have my blackberry we talked about the pros and cons of each, he talked about apps….blah blah blah.

FACT: I do not find this conversation amusing or appropriate for a ‘date’ but it’s not one of the things I hold against him.

When talking about my phone I bring up one small fact.  Which I think is important in knowing about me. It may lead you to believe I am crazy, but in fact it may lead you more o believe how I work.

FACT: I sleep with my phone…or at least am getting better at not.

Yup, I sleep with my phone! I cradle it in my hand softly to my side, or I hold it to my chest,  I know I know!  I have been working on this really hard, especially since I know have a jobs where its not really necessary to answer emails right away, and the job before that required answering of the phone asap at all hours of the night.

I am slowly breaking away from my blackberry cuddles, and moving my phone to a nightstand or such. Yet some how it seems to land in my hands anyways. (Judge if you want but if there is an emergency I got my phone!)

So, I told ‘question boy” this fact about me, a fact he kept repeating and asking about.  I explained one thing, that I have emails shut off on it, so I no longer wake up to emails (I get lots of spam in the early mornings) so basically it’s only the alarms, text messages and phone calls that I get on it. (from 2am-700am, but still!) Like I explained to him it is rare you get ‘spam’ texts or phone calls.

Another thing we talked about was the fact that I was about to make a business trip.  I am indeed right now writing this blog from Utah.  In fact, he asked me a lot about this trip.  I explained many times that my big business meeting (the reason) I was coming was on Monday (TODAY) and that I was going in a few days early to see a good friend, AND THEN…

This morning at 5:21am (Utah time) I feel a text message vibrate with it’s sound.  I have a text., and it’s from, you guessed it “question boy”

“ YAWNNN!! I’m up at airport waiting for my plane. Have a great turkey weekend!!!!!!!!! “

5 minutes later another buzz:   “Oh right you are a silly canuak and don’t like our turkey. HA!!!!!!!”

about 10 minutes later:  “ Hate the airport on Monday mornings!! Shouldn’t you be up and getting ready for your important meetings? Get up!!!!!”

about 5 minutes later: “Are you up yet?  You said this meeting was important. Good luck have fun!!!!!”

To which warranted a response:

“It is like fucking 5:30am here! Please stop texting me, and contacting me in general. Thank you.  Also, for future reference you should also stop using so many explanation marks!”

SIDEBAR: What is a ‘canuak ‘ ?

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Someones Ex: Are you a cheating bitch?

Plum: me?

Someones Ex: Yeah! All women are cheating cunts.

Plum: Well all guys are cheating douche bags.

Someones Ex: Agreed. Excuse me I have to go hurl. (Exits)

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So the other day I mentioned how I sorta went on a bad date in which he asked me a question that threw me off and made me write the post on Thursday.

I said before I don’t like to write about my “dating life”. I’m not ever really going to dish about every date I go on, or how I feel about a certain guy, or stuff like that.  If I like a guy most likely I’m not writing about him. This blog isn’t a place to gossip about boy’s…well not all boys at least.

I had a bad start to my week, and some days were terrible in fact.  I was in bed at like 9pm in maybe a t-shirt (maybe not, who cares) and I get this phone call.  I had just been on the phone so I picked up without looking at the number (something I rarely  ever do) It’s this guy who I had had a few back and forth emails with from an online dating site.

FACT: I have a very different structure to my online profile, most will say it’s unique and eye-catching, some may say it is wired. But it gives Plenty of jumping of topic starter if a guy wants to contact me. If he doesn’t comment on at least one thing from my profile the message is either 234.37% spam, or he’s just a certifiable retard!

The guy in question, by far the best and most intriguing intro email I have ever received, and although he had a few points against him, I responded. He took the time, so I took the time.

SIDEBAR: If someone has clearly taken the time to not only write me an email, but clearly put thought into it I always respond. Even if it is “thank you for your message it was very nice, but I wanted to let you know I have no interest in meeting a 60 year old married man, but good luck on your search”

(anyways)  I pick up the phone, and it’s this guy.  I had apparently forgot we had made tentative plans for this weekend. He was calling to check in, and I had to inform him I was a knob and was actually now going to be away on business for the weekend.

And then he says:  “What are you doing right now?”

“Right now, right now?”

“Yeah, I mean I’m in sweat pants, and stuff, but we do live like a block from each other what about a late night coffee or tea, just meet and say hi.”

And for some reason I say, “Sure, but I need 5 minutes to throw pants on, maybe brush my hair”

I meet him don the street, he had coffee I had hot chocolate (I love me some hot chocolate) and we talked. It was nice to talk to someone different then I usually do, learn something new about people. I generally really do enjoy meeting new people and getting to know them.

But then he started asking a lot of questions. Now I’m not one to ever hold back, if you ask me something I will most likely tell you, and it takes a lot to really shock me or make me feel uncomfortable. (there are a few topics that I generally feel very uncomfortable talking about but very few)

He then starts asking about my last relationship.  When it was, how long it was. Not really expectable but I have no issue answering those questions. He then starts asking if the sex was good? Did I still have sex with him after we broke up?  Now those questions were not appropriate. I mean I still answered them, but still.

Now again, here is the thing I have no issue with people asking questions, but come on guy, but there is a certain point where thing were not approapiate to ask.  Prevous relatioships sexual practices are kind of where I draw the line.

So after wards, all though he made a very sweet offer of another drink at his place I politely declined and made my way the black home.

And despite a few other strikes against this guy (and by few I mean like 56) it was still really nice to sit and chat with someone…even if that someone was interested in knowing if I’ve ever slept with a guy with a circumcised penis.

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I always say (say it with me) “all women are crazy bitches and all guys are douche bags” and I always get the ‘you saying you’re a crazy bitch?’ question in my face. And you know what sometimes I am.

However, I am not so much one is the relationship sense. I think I’m actually alittle more of a douche in that sense.

I got asked by this somewhat bad date I had last night (we will talk about that later) if I have ever broken up with a guy. My first answer is always no, no I haven’t.  He was surprised. He went on and on about how that is so a “girl thing”. How women get emotional and end up breaking things off. I’ve tried to end a relationship before, but that was always unsuccessful at that.

The thing is though I won’t try to fix anything, and that is just me being a douche!  I have no room for relationship drama, I truly don’t. I’m not that old and I’ve already filled up my relationship drama card (actually I’ve probably filled 3 cards) I won’t try, or at least haven’t tried in a very long time. Now I haven’t had a real serious relationship in a long time, but still.

You either want to spend time with me, or you don’t. I’m not wasting my time if I don’t want to spend it on you/with you. And I expect the same in return.  I’ve had many (and I sorta hate to admit it, but it really is a generational thing) text conversations with guys that I’ve been seeing for say a month or so, usually happens on the hitting a month point.

Where he gets all “I’m not looking for something serious” or “I don’t want to lead you on” type…blah blah blah.

Thing is it’s him thinking I’m about to go all crazy bitch on him, but thing is I don’t get like that. He sends me a message like that and I end up sending the “no one said anything about babies” or “believe me you don’t have to worry about that” type texts back and this back and forth usually ends in me just not replying. Just stopping the conversation, cause maybe at the end of the day I just don’t care, and just don’t need someone’s drama…..just make up your mind buddy.

One of my good friends said once that he thinks this is why I’m such good friends with guys I’ve dated. He says “your more guy then girl when it comes to breakups, you say your peace and you bounce”. Thus never putting the crazy bitch image in the guys mind.

Now I’m pretty positive there are guys out there who will hands down says I am a crazy bitch (but I’m pretty sure more girls would say that..te he he)

SO the thing is, maybe I need to start embracing my girl. Become all emotional and “crazy” of guys and relationships and all that jazz.

But then again at the end of the day, I just might be too confident to do such a thing…but that’s cause I just might be too much of a douche.

(reason #___why I’m single: I guess Im both a crazy bitch and a douche…and who wants that!)

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